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    marscee's Avatar
    marscee Posts: 11, Reputation: 3
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    #1

    Oct 18, 2010, 08:21 PM
    My boyfriend died
    My boyfriend recently died and at 1st I was sort of Numb about the situation , then I started to act normal . But now its really starting to mess with me and I feel likee crying a lot and just to let you know I'm only 15 and I feel reeally depressed . I see a therapist now and I try to act like everything is okay , but it really is not and she thinks I need too take pills but I Don't want them. Mah life just really seems ****ed up (excuse my language) but anybody anyone just write back please .
    YeloDasy's Avatar
    YeloDasy Posts: 363, Reputation: 81
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    #2

    Oct 18, 2010, 09:55 PM

    I would imagine that your feelings are normal after a loss. Why do you not want to tell your therapist that you are not okay? Let her know that you do not want to take medications but you really want to work on the loss and yourself to move forward. You should be able to talk with your therapist.
    Enigma1999's Avatar
    Enigma1999 Posts: 2,223, Reputation: 1077
    Welbeing Expert
     
    #3

    Oct 18, 2010, 10:04 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by marscee View Post
    my boyfriend recently died and at 1st i was sorta Numb about the situation , then i started to act normal . but now its really starting to mess with me and i feel likee crying alot and just to let you know im only 15 and i feel reeally depressed . i see a therapist now and i try to act like everything is okay , but it really is not and she thinks i need too take pills but i DONT want them. mah life just really seems ****ed up (excuse my language) but anybody anyone just write back please .
    I'm very sorry for your loss!

    I agree with yelo, I would talk to your therapist. Really tell her how you feel. She can help you get through this.
    rebeccahstrean's Avatar
    rebeccahstrean Posts: 165, Reputation: 9
    Junior Member
     
    #4

    Oct 19, 2010, 10:25 AM
    I'm going through the greiving process to. Your going to feel a lot of different emotions! Trust me! If you want to cry then cry don't hold it in. Let it all out its healthy. Have your parents give you attention, you prob. Need it right now. I'm sorry about your loss!!
    bianca2010's Avatar
    bianca2010 Posts: 5, Reputation: 2
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    #5

    Oct 20, 2010, 07:12 AM
    I am so sorry to hear about what you are going threw. I read your statement and it hit close to home. I agree with Yelo, if you don't want to take those pills just let your therapist know. Everyone grieves differently and if you feel an emotion than just go with it. There's no right and wrong to the grieving process. I wish I could help you more than this right here. I hope and pray that everything works out for you hun. I will keep you in my prayer.
    taloula's Avatar
    taloula Posts: 1, Reputation: 2
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    #6

    Oct 21, 2010, 03:09 PM
    My boyfriend died 8 months ago,We have a 4year old son together, I am 24, It is not easy at all when you lose some one you love,
    There is no wrong or rite way to feel I don't think,You will have good days and bad days but when you are having a bad day try think of all the good times you and your boyfriend sheared,laugh at the good times. I some times see my partner in my son and it dose make me sad but at the same time it puts a smile on my face. They say talking helps, So u should bevery proued of yourself for doing that,but if things do start to get even harder maybe consider excepting the tablets from your doctor you never no they may help to take the edge of the pain, Most of all keep talking bottleing things up just makes it worse.
    I may not of bin any help to you I just hope I helped even if it was a little bit. Stay strong.
    People keep saying to me you are only young you have your whole life ahead of you and you never no you mite get married one day, well tell you what that so did not help me just made me have a go at the people that said it.I no this is stupid but I really hope you are OK and in time we will learn to adjust to what has happened. Xx
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #7

    Oct 21, 2010, 07:19 PM

    It is not easy to lose someone you love. How long as it been,
    And you don't try to "act" any way, you just be who you are, if you are hurting, hurt, if youu need to cry, cry.

    I have a tear to so every now and then from the loss of my wife years ago ( and I have remarried) but a special song or a store may bring back a memory
    marscee's Avatar
    marscee Posts: 11, Reputation: 3
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    #8

    Oct 22, 2010, 06:10 PM
    Thanks so much you guys . After reading this , it made me feel like there's hopee
    TNuhcgirl's Avatar
    TNuhcgirl Posts: 1, Reputation: 3
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    #9

    Nov 9, 2010, 09:48 PM
    Hi! My boyfriend of almost 4 years died June 2007. I was 24 at the time. The first thing I did the day he died is I called my friend who lost her boyfriend when we were 18 and asked her to tell me I was going to be OK. The day he died I thought I would never ever be OK. I needed someone to tell me I would get through it. I want to be that person for you. You will get through it. You are going to feel like you are going crazy some days, but one day you will feel more like yourself again. The days you fall apart will become fewer and farther between. You will hear a word that reminds you of him and you will burst into tears or you will get extremely angry at people for no reason. It is all normal. The funny thing is, the reason I found your post is because I am having a sad day today. It is the first time I've cried about him in almost 6 months now so I wanted to be reminded that I'm not alone. I also want to let you know that you aren't alone. It hurts and it is truly the hardest thing I have ever been through, but I found 3 things that helped me. I started going to church again and talking to God, I also talked to my boyfriend (whether or not he can hear me... who knows?) because it helped me to deal with my feelings, I also learned how to confide in my family and it brought us a lot closer than we ever were. You have two choices when you lose a loved one... you can give up and curl up in a ball or you can live because they can't. Losing my boyfriend was the best and worst thing that ever happened to me. I will forever miss him, but it made me the person I am today. There comes a point where the days you are angry because they are not here start to become days you think of the wonderful memories you were lucky enough to share with them. Not too many people as young as you have to go through this so if you feel like you have no one to talk to just feel free to message me on here. If the therapy is helping you, keep going. If you think you need some meds to get you through it take them. If you think you don't need them, don't let someone talk you into taking them. I didn't take any medication, but I had a strong support system and I had a lot of faith that God would get me through it. You will get through this!
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #10

    Nov 10, 2010, 09:13 AM
    I too, am sorry for your loss, and for all the pain you are going through. At some point in our lives, we all experience the death of a loved one, and like has been said, you will get through it.

    I just wanted to point out, that if your Doctor has recommended mediation for you, it is more likely that it is to help you with the worst of the emotions you are battling with. Most physicians are familiar with the stages of grief, and if anything is prescribed, it may help you feel better. Not everybody needs medication, but I just want to point out, that some do, and it can be very helpful.

    Not all of us have had the life experience to know our limits of coping under extreme stress, or have ever experienced anything like coping with the death of a loved one. Not that it makes it easier if you've lived through this before, but you know from experience if you have lived through the death of a loved one before, that you had the skills and maturity to cope, and survive.

    Please don't stop seeing your therapist. Every visit you make is a step forward in moving on with your life. While it may be a painful process, you will get through it, and you are certainly not alone.

    When I lost my mother, the 'stages of grief' didn't work in the 'right' order for me. I was all over the map, and not coping well. Having two young children at the time, just made things overwhelming. I realized I was not getting through this very well, and was temporarily put on medication for about six months. It helped me very much.

    So just consider eveything that might help you, and try not to rule things out, just yet.
    Cheyviolin's Avatar
    Cheyviolin Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #11

    Jan 2, 2011, 07:45 PM
    I am 15 and my boyfriend Pat died from Leukemia in November. I didn't know what to do me whole like was a wreaking ball I cried all the time. Then I guess I went threw some kind of denial I went days acting like it was all okay, but then I went to call him and he wasn't there to call. After that I cried again but then I wok up the next day when my friend Sarletia called me (he was her cousin) She said he left me a letter. I read it and in it he wrote. "I am still here, I always will be I just went away for awhile, I love you but you need to move on, life will get better, he will come the guy better than me, the one that will take it all away but for now, live life to the fullest and don't look back because you never know when life will tell you it's over, breakup with you. I love you. You love me. He will love you too. Don't wait for him, don't come to me. You love you." He said some more stuff but that part of the letter really helped me. You really have to move, and find things you like to do. I still cry and I still feel sad a lot but I'm getting better because I force myself to move on.

    If you every need to talk you can email me at [email protected]

    It will get better it has to because it can't get worse! :)(:

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