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    btdxb's Avatar
    btdxb Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Oct 18, 2010, 01:32 AM
    Girlfriend gets upset and then ignores me
    We've been together for 2 months now... I'm 26 and she's 24. I never faced this sort of behavior with my previous gfs and I'm usually able to handle these sort of hickups quite well. But maybe she is overdoing it or she's being over sensitive I really can't tell. It's a distance relationship, but we speak on the phone multiple times daily and send several text messages many times during the day when things are OK.

    I never thought I'll write for help/ opinion. Oh well, here I am doing we so. She ignores me all of a sudden for a couple of hours, and when I ask why is she been distant or if she is OK etc... she gets back to me with a very short text telling me that she has a headache and ignores me for the rest of the day (this situation can extend on this form for 2 days sometimes) every other week I face such a problem to deal with. I try call her later to check on her head and she gets upset!! There is always this force that makes you feel that this girl is a special girl and since I love her I want to continue with her till the end. (and she loves me too at least this is what she says)

    Lately, I'm getting annoyed with this habit of hers, the reason is always the same and by her ignoring me she doesn't seem to appreciate me carring about her. I'm really puzzled here. I personally feel it's a childish thing to do and if I tell her that this is childish act she won't take it maturely and get upset and if I ignore her and leave her by herself I will be dragged into her ignoring game. I've told her several times that she could at least inform me about her not willing to speak to anyone and tell me to relax but she doesn't and keeps on ignoring me suddenly.

    After she is done with her issues all of a sudden she switches back in her best mood... I'm not a big fan of these swing moods and it's making me doubt whether these headaches of hers are real or not. I usually would love someone to ask how I'm doing after being ill and she does the same if I had an issue but when it's me asking her she gets upset? Is there anything wrong with her or is it me? Someone faced such an issue?
    KoolAide187's Avatar
    KoolAide187 Posts: 94, Reputation: 21
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    #2

    Oct 18, 2010, 02:03 AM
    This is an easy fix... you have been together for 2 months. Since it's a distance relationship she already sees it's effecting her feelings towards you and has moved on. You should do the same. If you aren't quite ready to move on yet. Give her a test. Don't call her or text until she does it to you. If she doesn't call or text you in 2 days then it's over. There is no reason somebody you are with shouldn't just not think of you for 2 days straight without saying anything. She is always on your mind. Guess what... you are on hers too. She hasn't forgot about you but she is pushing you to the point it's going to make it easier for her to let you go by saying Oh well we don't see each other much anymore or talk on the phone. It's just not working out. Just watch because it's coming so prepare yourself. If she really wants to be with you then make her prove it. Make her call you. A relationship shouldn't be one sided with you calling her constantly and not getting the same treatment in return. I wish there was more you could do but there's really not. Sorry to inform you but good luck with your journey on getting over her. It shouldn't be too hard cause it was only a 2 month relationship. I just got out of one myself and I am great. The girl threw me for a loop though. Same type situation. GL!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    Oct 18, 2010, 03:42 AM

    She doesn't like long distance relationships. Its no different than pen pals, or text buddies. No dates, no hanging out, no face to face talking and bonding. Its rough.

    Makes it hard to bond or build, and she probably has better things to do. More fun at least. I would have trouble with her mood swings to but being ignored without explanation, is a deal breaker. Relationships should be fun, especially in the beginning, and this doesn't sound like any kind of fun at all.
    btdxb's Avatar
    btdxb Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Oct 18, 2010, 04:28 AM
    Comment on talaniman's post
    She doesn't have anything else to do other than work and home and couple friends that I also know in common. She stays at home and becoomes anti-social whenever the headache kicks in. if I try to contact her she gets pissed.
    btdxb's Avatar
    btdxb Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Oct 18, 2010, 04:36 AM
    Comment on KoolAide187's post
    When I ignore her she calls back in the evening same day as if nothing happened ( I ignore her because she asks for it)... I got ill 2 days ago and she didn't let go off the phone. When we are in good terms she interacts, when she is down it's off
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #6

    Oct 18, 2010, 05:28 AM

    Seems to be a pattern that you deal with, or not. She is who she is. When she is off her game, just leave her alone. In any relationship you deal with your partner, and the one you have seems to require a great deal of patience. Hope you have enough.
    answerme_tender's Avatar
    answerme_tender Posts: 1,148, Reputation: 689
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    #7

    Oct 18, 2010, 10:18 AM

    You have only been together 2months and already we can tell who calls the shots in this relationship. If she was really into you she couldn't wait for 2days to have sometype of connection with you, even texting. This sounds more like a manipulation ego building game for her.
    Distance relationships can be done, but they are very difficult. Usually only 2mature very much in love , respectful adults can make it work, not just 1 adult.
    You need to get out with friends and see what your missing out on hoping she will come around and give you some attention.
    beachloverjohn's Avatar
    beachloverjohn Posts: 491, Reputation: 242
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    #8

    Oct 18, 2010, 12:44 PM

    I agree. It sounds to me like she is feeling somthered, and wants some emotional space to go along with the physical space. My honest opinion is that your relationship with her is on life support, and will be over by the end of the year. Sorry to say that, but the signs are all there, and you may refuse to see them.
    rebeccahstrean's Avatar
    rebeccahstrean Posts: 165, Reputation: 9
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    #9

    Oct 18, 2010, 01:52 PM
    My boyfriend ignores me when he's upset about anything. I talk to him about it and when he gets up to walk out of the house I start to yell and at least he will hear what I have to say. What I say and yell is: Were dating... were suppose to talk to one another wheather is about you and me or not! If its bothing you what ever it is you can talk to me... cause I can't talk to you about whatever is bothering me unless you do the same. Sometimes it works most of the time it doesn't. So try that
    beachloverjohn's Avatar
    beachloverjohn Posts: 491, Reputation: 242
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    #10

    Oct 18, 2010, 02:05 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by rebeccahstrean View Post
    My boyfriend ignores me when he's upset about anything. I talk to him about it and when he gets up to walk out of the house I start to yell and at least he will hear whta I have to say. What I say and yell is: Were dating.... were suppose to talk to one another wheather is about you and me or not!! If its bothing you what ever it is you can talk to me... cause I can't talk to you about whatever is bothering me unless you do the same. Sometimes it works most of the time it doesn't. So try that
    I think it is better to just let them walk out and cool off. Leave that person alone until thet are calm enough to talk. Unless you just like to fight. Then go ahead, push them some more, maybe right over the edge.
    bijan64's Avatar
    bijan64 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #11

    Nov 4, 2010, 10:15 AM
    I have the same girl but my story is different. We've been dating for almost a year and been in a long distance one for 3 months. Ill tell you right now that no matter what she says they are not headaches. She doesn't feel like she's close enough to you to tell you how she feels. She's having doubts but doesn't know how you will react and thinks you'll get mad. Long distance relationships are all about communication and trust. Me and my girl have the communication down since we first started dating and we've slowly been gaining the trust. You need to be open to her and to the way she's feels. Find out why she's upset and talk through it, Don't FIGHT. And about her headaches call her out on it. Say "hey babe, i feel like your trying to me nice to me by instead of saying you don't want to talk you say you have headaches." if she gets upset say "I wasn't trying to make you upset i just want to let you know that i want an honest relationship and if you need YOU time i understand". Its going to be hard but if you really love her and if she's worth it then you just need to deal with her mood swings not by being pissed off but by talking things through. Long Distance isn't for everyone and I get scared that its not for my girl sometimes but if your strong and are willing to do it and know deep down she wants to than its worth it.

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