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    whatisthis3's Avatar
    whatisthis3 Posts: 65, Reputation: 0
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    Oct 17, 2010, 08:43 PM
    Should I ask her out? We got carried away.
    We are both 18. This girl and I have been talking for about 3 weeks now, and I like her a lot. I can tell she likes me a lot to. She plays a few mind games, but I read them pretty well, and I know she likes me, even though she has never said those words. A little bit of hard to get right there. We aren't even "talking" officially.

    She broke up with her boyfriend one month before we started talking, and she says she has no plans of getting back together.

    We've kissed, and held hands, we talk on the phone a lot, we pretty much act like we are going out when we're just by ourselves. But we've been rushing things a lot.

    The thing is, we got too carried away the other day, and ended up having sex. With no condom, and I feel she's kind of scared. And it's a little awkward right now. I did pull out in time though. We still talk, and we agreed to forget about it, rewind to the day before, and take it slower from now on.

    I'm at a loss at what to do. I still like her, and have no plans of leaving her. I want to pursue a relationship with this girl. What should I do? In need of dire help.

    And I know it was wrong, feel free to scold me, but I definitely need advice.
    Justwantfair's Avatar
    Justwantfair Posts: 3,422, Reputation: 944
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    #2

    Oct 17, 2010, 09:10 PM

    How long was her last relationship?

    At this point in time, while she is probably interested in you, she probably needs more time to find herself again following her last relationship.

    Be careful about getting involved too quickly with this relationship. You may find yourself more involved before she determines that she really isn't ready to offer you what you are looking for.
    whatisthis3's Avatar
    whatisthis3 Posts: 65, Reputation: 0
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    #3

    Oct 17, 2010, 09:16 PM
    Comment on Justwantfair's post
    It was almost one year. So how exactly should I go about this?
    Justwantfair's Avatar
    Justwantfair Posts: 3,422, Reputation: 944
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    #4

    Oct 17, 2010, 09:26 PM

    I would back off, give her plenty of space. You can see each other, but maintain a friendship and keep contact very minimal.

    You are falling into a 'rebound' trap and I believe your best option is to back off and pursue your own interests, while she develops her's. You have plenty of time and if things are meant to work out and become more they still will even with some time and space distance.

    Fact is, she needs time and space. A one year relationship is signigicant at 18 and he was probably her 'first' lots of things, that come with a serious relationship.
    YeloDasy's Avatar
    YeloDasy Posts: 363, Reputation: 81
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    #5

    Oct 17, 2010, 09:36 PM

    I would suggest asking her on a date. Take her dinner or something that she likes doing. Then take her home, kiss her goodnight, and call her the next day. Take it slow. But take her on a date. This way she knows you are still interested, you are respecting her, and you are giving her space she needs. You seem like a nice guy, that cares about her and her feelings.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #6

    Oct 17, 2010, 09:43 PM

    The thing is, we got too carried away the other day, and ended up having sex. With no condom, and I feel she's kind of scared. And it's a little awkward right now. I did pull out in time though.
    Just want to point out that the pull out method doesn't work. There's more then enough sperm in pre to get her pregnant. No wonder she's scared.

    Take it slow.
    KoolAide187's Avatar
    KoolAide187 Posts: 94, Reputation: 21
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    #7

    Oct 17, 2010, 11:02 PM
    Well I'd say the same as everybody else... take it slow. Once you both are starting to create a bond. Then start having sex. Protected of coarse but you should be fine with her if you take it slow. Now another point of advice I want you to guard your heart because at a young age like 18-25 girls are very wishy washy with their emotions. They can love you one minute then want to be single the next. A lot of girls do this so don't be surprised if y'all are both head over heals in love before long and then she leaves you. You will remember back to this post and think wow that guy was right on the money. My real advice to you is to have fun with her be careful and don't take your relationship too seriously because most likely it's not going to work. I know I sound like a martyr by saying that but it's the honest to go truth. With the way your girl is acting and playing games... she sounds very qualified to be the type who fall into that 18-25 girls gone wild spree. Anyway good luck with whatever you do.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #8

    Oct 18, 2010, 08:22 AM

    I want you to guard your heart because at a young age like 18-25 girls are very wishy washy with their emotions. They can love you one minute then want to be single the next.
    Just want to point out that most guys in that age range aren't much better. It's the party stage, the "time to sew wild oats" stage. But, not all girls are like that, nor are all guys.

    I met my husband when we were both 19. We've been together ever since (over 20 years). Neither of us have ever cheated, or even broken up for a short period. Yes, there were hard times, but that's true in any relationship.

    In other words, finding the one at a young age can happen. I admit it's not the norm, but it's not impossible.
    whatisthis3's Avatar
    whatisthis3 Posts: 65, Reputation: 0
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    #9

    Oct 18, 2010, 11:14 PM
    I really appreciate the help guys. Any more feed back from anyone? I really want to hear some talaniman rules haha. Sorry if I butchered your username though, sir, no offense intended.

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