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    anna97's Avatar
    anna97 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Oct 17, 2010, 12:05 AM
    I'm a 13 year old teenager and hate where I'm living..
    I'm deanna I'm a 13 year old teenager I've had a rough life and know some people have it worse I'm the youngest of seven my mum walked out on me when I was 3years old to live with a pedophile I've tried to tell her what kind of sick man he is she just doesn't want to believe it. I've been living with my dad for 10 years I'm the only female and its hard I get no surrport no-one to talk to no-one to tell how I really feel..

    Since aboutt 9 years old I've wanted to live in care so then I have social workers and carers that will listen people have told living in care isn't the best option and I know that but I'm 13 smoke weed drink smoke ciggaretes and I'm sexually active and its because of this area I live in.. I go kicked out of school.. so living in care will stop me from being around the drugs and grog and they will help me get back into school thts all I want can someone help or leave me answers on what to do.. thanks everyone..
    artlady's Avatar
    artlady Posts: 4,208, Reputation: 1477
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    #2

    Oct 17, 2010, 12:19 AM

    It sounds like you are doing whatever you want so.. are you happy? What advice do you want?
    I think you are smart and know how to change your life.
    What do YOU want ? Honey,you have lived through things,I get it but you have to have a dream and hope.Get back to us on here ,lot of good women to help guide you.
    You tell us where you want to go and we will give you the benefit of our smarts and love. For real:)))
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #3

    Oct 17, 2010, 12:25 AM

    I'm 13 smoke weed drink smoke ciggaretes and I'm sexually active and its because of this area I live in.. I go kicked out of school..
    I'm going to give you a little tough love and I can tell you right now that I know you're not going to like it, you won't want to hear it, but it's the truth.

    First, a question. Do people hold you down and force you to smoke pot? Do they tie your hands behind your back, force your mouth open, force you to inhale? What about alcohol? Does anyone force you to drink it? And smoking, is that being forced on you too? Do you see where I'm going with this? You are responsible for you, no one else. Do not blame where you live on the choices you make. Moving somewhere else won't change you, only you can change you.

    Life isn't always fair, and you're right, there are many people that have it worse then you do, and many of those people rise above their circumstances and make something of themselves. You can too.

    How badly do you want to change? It's all in your hands, no one else's. So stop making excuses, and make changes. If you need help with that, we can give you advice, help you find counselors in your area, or teen groups that you could join so you have some support.

    You have options. Your biggest option is to rely on yourself.
    cdad's Avatar
    cdad Posts: 12,700, Reputation: 1438
    Internet Research Expert
     
    #4

    Oct 17, 2010, 11:49 AM

    I agee. Changing where you live changes nothing but the view out the window. Its up to you to make something of yourself. I know its hard. Have you tried joining church associated youth groups? Another thing you need to learn respect for yourself and your body. Stop giving it away. Save it for real commitment. Someone who actually loves you and will care for you.
    dachskymoon's Avatar
    dachskymoon Posts: 4, Reputation: 2
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    #5

    Oct 17, 2010, 09:51 PM
    If I were you I would call Kids Help line or something simaler or a child's lawyer you have rights you have been through enough already and should get support a soon as posible you do have rights you are inportant the worlds so big and fast it is hard to fine you so you suffer NO more call some one scream help as loud as you can until some one pays attention You got mine you are a little angel don't hurt yourself with drugs and drinking and sex . There is away out just call Please do this for yourself it sounds like so many have hurt and disapointed you .there wronge not you Sharon
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #6

    Oct 18, 2010, 12:49 AM
    If you had love, support, discipline, and guidance you would not be floundering right now.

    Risk taking behaviour at your age, especially with what seems to be no controls, curfews, consequences, and direct parenting going on, isn't going to be easy to stop and change, but it seems like you are going to have to be the one to make it happen.

    Being one of 7 children with a single parent, has got to be tough for you even to be heard, let alone given the emotional support you need, which is quite obivous in your post.

    That you have identified the areas you want to change means that you want to turn your life around. Think about life after you get an education, think about being drug free, and think about where you want to be under your own steam, and your own power, five years from now.

    Really think about it. Climbing out of that place you are in now, making your way, one step at a time, keeping a vision of who you want to be, and where you want to be, and then achieving those goals. Maybe a teacher, a scientist, vet? While it may seem impossible now, whatever you think you want to do, you can do, with a plan, some personal discipline, and goals.

    If you can stop the weed, and the sex, that would be a good place to start. With a clear head, and by setting some basic personal standards, you can learn to break these behaviours because they get you nowhere, as you probably already know. To be sexually active you are risking STD's, and pregnancy. Eliminate those two things, and start building a foundation that is clean and without risk to reaching your goals.

    Within your own environment, create a space just for you. Keep it clean and tidy; arrange your space so that you have a comfortable place to study, and focus on what you need to do. Eliminate negative people, places, and things, in your life, and learn to accomplish one thing each day, even if it is just reading a chapter in a book.

    Give yourself more, and others, less. You can change friendships from drug using friends, to non drug using friends. Hang out with kids who have goals and expectations for themselves, and others.

    Go yourself to the school you should be in, and speak to the Principal. Explain that you have taken steps to get your life on track. You no longer do drugs, you have stopped hanging with people who keep you down, and you are committed to turning your life around. Offer to be admitted back into school, even on condition of attendance, marks.

    When you are back in school, get yourself into some sports, or clubs. Keep a good balance between school, and extra activities. Be prepared to work hard to reach your goals- maybe 75% average this year, and even higher the next. If you don't have goals to reach, you will never achieve them.

    Don't be too proud to ask for help. If there is a counsellor in your school, make an appointment to talk things out with her.

    One thing is certain, changing your environment will not change you, or your future. My advice to you is to change what you can now, in order to live a very good future of your own making, down the road. In five short years, only 60 months, you could be off to college. That is not a lot of time.

    So, you can remain where you are, keep smoking the weed, keep having sex and risk getting pregnant, and remain stewing in your depressing situation, or, get up in the morning, set your mind to planning some short term goals- getting back into school, and work on long term goals- new friends, and realizing your dreams down the road into the not so distant future.
    dachskymoon's Avatar
    dachskymoon Posts: 4, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #7

    Oct 18, 2010, 11:04 AM
    Comment on Jake2008's post
    Every thirteen year old needs some one to avocate for them or they get lost between the cracks this kid is tramma need help easy to put on paper for us but walk in her shoes it is all she can do is get up wish some one would come rescue her

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