[Laisa]

I had a 7 month relationship with a man and when we were nearly moving together he suddenly finished everything without much explanation apart from he was depressed about money and fmily matters, and he could not be my 'husband'.We talked on the phone and he was very cold with me, breaking my heart. I stopped contacting him and today I got an email saying how adorable I am and this and that but he cannot see me as his 'wife'. I replayed that I never asked him to be my husband and was happy the way things were, that I really loved him but it was just that. Soon after there was another email saying that if I promise not to talk about everything that happened he wants to see me again and have dinner with me for us to talk. What do you think is going on in his head, after breaking everyhthing he now wants to have dinner and talk. I believe that he has commitment issues and became frightened, I feel that he likes me too though. What do I do now? We are over 50 both and both divorced.

[beachloverjohn]

Sounds like he doesn't know what he wants. Best thing for you to do is stop waiting around for him to figure it out.

[Laisa]

Can anybody give an opinion of WHY my ex boyfriend is behaving the way he is.
1) Develop a 7 month relationship with me, tell me how special I am , phone me constantly, comes to see me often, make plans of future together.
2) Without much warning, decides to break up everything, to the point of denying he had a relationship with me and says he is NOT going to live with me.He becomes quite nasty.
3)I accept the break even though I'm in pain over that.
4) He then starts to email me again and asks me to have dinner with him to 'talk', also sends me an email saying how adorable I am.
What is in his mind and what should I do.

[DoulaLC]

How do you know him? How did you meet?

I'd be very careful after such an outburst, especially since it seemed to come out of the blue, without explanation, and now he is pretty much acting as though nothing happened.

How long after the break-up did he start contacting you again?

[Laisa]

The outburst came after a crisis in his family that had nothing to do with our relationship at all. He became depressed and next day finished with me. He said some nasty hurtful things to me just after having said that I was his 'only one' , in a matter of days he had gone 180 degrees away from our relationship. Now he is starting to email and wanting me to phone him, wanting to go for a meal. I think he is bipolar.

[talaniman]

I think he is just a nut, and has issues of his own. Whatever his personal problems, it's a bit early to have this stress, and drama in such a new relationship that's barely past the dating, checking each other out phase.

That would be a big red flag, and a preview of more to come in my book. I think someone else would be a lot more fun, and fulfilling. Don't put any of your eggs in his basket, and don't waste your time with high hopes either.

That's as fair a warning as I can give you, sorry.

[KoolAide187]

He may be a nut job. I'd say if you're going to continue to pursue this individual I'd use extreme caution with your heart. Another thing to think about though is even if he says he doesn't see you as you could be a wife. That may mean for right now that is... Maybe later down the road he will feel different. The only way to know is to give it a shot. But like I said be careful.