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KoolAide187 · Oct 12, 2010, 03:57 AM

I have been dating this girl for about a month and a half now. But I am kind of in a weird situation. Me and this girl have finally fell for each other but the strange thing is... she still lives with her parents... She has a son... and her babies daddy is still living with her and her parents. His main roll for the longest time was to watch her son while she worked and that's all she really liked keeping him around for. She swears up and down she has no feelings for him and he is a piece of ****. But the thing is she told me she loved me about a week ago and I felt the same and told her back. She says she likes spending a lot of time with her son and since she works so much she does that a lot instead of hanging out with me. Funny thing is, her babies daddy just got a job the other day so he hasn't been at home. She told me she doesn't text me a lot because it hurts his feelings. She said she is planning on kicking him out but she doesn't want to hurt him really cause he doesn't really have anywhere to go. But just lately... after he started working it seems she hasn't been responding to my texts and calls nearly as much as she use to. This girl is really amazing to me. She does anything I ask and is very generous with everything. She is definitely a girl I would like to spend the rest of my life with if possible. I know we just said we love each other but what should I do about this? Tell her maybe we should just be friends and leave it at that for her to commit to me? Or just stop texting her and see if she will chase me? Or assume all is lost and think maybe she is getting back with her babies daddy and now that he has a job she doesn't need me? I could tell she had feelings for me but I have never had this happen in a relationship and now I am kind of weirded out. Any and all help would be great.

Barry1981 · Oct 12, 2010, 06:12 AM

Hmm, seems like you're walking into a minefield here. Firstly, I would try to be a bit more rational with your feelings, saying things like 'She is definitely a girl I would like to spend the rest of my life with if possible' after just 6 weeks together doesn't really seem sensible because you barely know her.

Given her situation I would be extremely cautious about getting into any sort of relationship with her, there's clearly still something between her and her ex partner - and I don't just mean the child. If I were you I would tell her how you feel about the situation and then be fully willing to walk away completely. I just can't see how this is going to progress in a healthy way when she's still living with the father of her child...

kctiger · Oct 12, 2010, 06:16 AM

I wouldn't have anything to do with someone still so involved and somewhat attached with her ex. Red flags are up here my friend. If you proceed, do so with extreme caution.

You two have dated for a little over a month and already declare to be in love? A bit too fast. Slow down, slow way down!

answerme_tender · Oct 12, 2010, 06:48 AM

I would just walk away from this situation period. She can give you every excuse there is, but the bottom line is, she is ANOTHER MANS GIRL. They maybe living with her parents, but he is living with her!! She is cheating on her boyfriend. I don't care how she tried to justify this, it still comes down to cheating. If she is down with the relationship, then she need to grow up and tell the boyfriend and have him move out before she enters into another relationship. To be honest you should have be man enough to insist on this also.
Don't let her use you anymore move on. If she is really the one you want to spend rest of your life with, I would re-examine what she just did to her PRESENT boyfriend. There are a lot of nice woman waiting for a nice man to share their lives with, stop wasting your time on cheater and to out meet some of those women. Good luck

Devorameira · Oct 12, 2010, 08:45 AM

You need to totally walk away from this situation. You should have never gotten into this mess, as she's already taken and is cheating on him. Remember - if she'll cheat with you she'll also cheat on you. Is that what you want?

marquezz · Oct 12, 2010, 02:48 PM

I don't know if she's still with him.. but it does sound very sketchy. I would say just to avoid her just because to me, she's still hung up on her ex, and till he's out of her life (minus caring for their child), she never will be. Keep your distance.

Cat1864 · Oct 12, 2010, 05:06 PM

How long have you known her? Not just how long you have been dating? How old are all of you including the child?

What do you really know about her? Not what she is willing to do for you, but what her favorite movie is or her least favorite color, does she cry at Hallmark commercials, does she like sunsets or sunrises, does she like sports, does she enjoy walking barefoot in the park, etc.

You haven't been dating two months and already you are questioning why she doesn't text or respond as much. If you are this insecure now, I can't see it getting any better as the relationship progresses.

KoolAide187 · Oct 12, 2010, 09:39 PM

Well that's the thing that strikes me as weird. She and him both are single on Facebook and even her family has told me they don't stay in the same room nore do they act affectionate when they are around each other.

KoolAide187 · Oct 12, 2010, 09:40 PM

She went out on a date with me one night and I watch her walk out while he looked all sad in the window. So he knows about me. He can't do anything about it. He should move out to save face. But she should also make him move out.

KoolAide187 · Oct 12, 2010, 09:43 PM

Being a guy who loves a girl I know how hard it is to let go of a women who you were serious about for 4+ years who you also have a child with. It's hard to let go so I can't blame him so much for trying to weasel his way back into her life.

KoolAide187 · Oct 25, 2010, 08:26 AM

Update on my status. All right I know a lot of you were thinking she was cheating on her boyfriend. But while waiting for all this stuff to pan out I kind of did some digging. Me and her older sister went to school together and I went up to her job to eat and talked to her sister and she told me straight out the girl I was seeing wasn't interested in her babies daddy she just couldn't bring herself to pushing him out on the street cause he has no where else to go. She said she would be willing to move out of her parents house and move on with her life and he could stay there or leave, she didn't care as long as she didn't have to see him. I talked to her sister a bit more and found out even though she hasn't talked to me she still talks about me to her parents and her sisters cause she is thinking about me. I do agree though it did seem very fishy to me at first and it's a very weird situation. After I gave her some time and didn't try talking to her she finally called me out of the blue and explained things to me. She explained she didn't ever get to see me and that it would be easier for me to just find somebody else cause she can never get time to see me and I shouldn't waste my time on her. I told her out right that if I wanted somebody else I would be with somebody else. So me and her are now talking again and taking it slow. I actually met her parents the other day and they are very cool. I think I'll just take my time with this situation and see where things go. But I do plan on taking it slow.