[lucylou8512]

Im twenty five year old with a 9 month old son! He is adorable and I love him so much! Its just everything else that life as a new single mum brings.
His father and I were never properly together when he was conceived though started a relationship shortly after he was born. Anyway he has dumped me now and is still involved with our son. I fell in love for him knowing he would never feel the same... him and my mum don't get on which is a difficult situation.
Before I had my son I was living in the city with good job, nice flat and having time of my life... but now I am back living with my son in a house in my hometown... I have lost touch with everyone and I talk babytalk all day long its driving me mental.
I know his father dumped me because of my moodswings at the fact my life has changed but now I'm completely alone they are getting worse.
Everynite is horrible, I start replaying "what ifs" over and over again until I get into a right state that I can't stop crying! Therefore I'm so tired during the day it is a horrible cycle that is getting worse.

I have a part time job at weekend when baby is at his dads but I have lost my confidence and who I am as I really don't know who I am anymore. I keep yearning for baby's dad knowing that he is not right for me.

I love my son and he makes me smile everyday and try do my best for him but every day I feel worthless.
Don't really know what I'm asking... has anyone managed to get past this stage... iwant the knotted belly, achey heart, endless tears to stop. Bad days are out numbering the good days x

[Wondergirl]

My heart aches for you! I remember those days of talking only babytalk all day!

Are there other young mums around? I used to meet once or twice a week with several mums and their babies. The babies would play on the floor nearby, and we girls would chat and drink tea and eat cookies or danish. One group I went to was even a Bible study which was nice. Another group on Thursday morning was a bowling team. We'd put our babies in the nursery and had fun bowling for two hours.

Is there a group like that in your area, or could you start one? (May I ask, where are you, generally speaking?)

[Just_Another_Lemming]

I have never been in your situation. I am sorry you are so unhappy. I don't know if this will help but earlier today I read a short article entitled "How to be Happy" and thought you might get something out of it. You may want to buy Ricard's book on happiness that is mentioned in the article or you may want to check out the Dalai Lama's book, The Art of Happiness.
How to Be Happy - AOL Health

You can definitely find the time to read these books while the baby is sleeping. They very well might help you train yourself to let go of the negative and depressing thoughts and to refocus, re-energize, & reinvent yourself.

[jelly1bean]

Oh, Lucy Lou my heart breaks for you as well. Sounds to me like you might have postpartum depression. Have you spoken to your doctor? When you are pregnant and then after the baby is born the hormones go all over the place, they can make people "snappy" when they might not otherwise be, as well as crying at the drop of the hat, etc. Maybe the father of your son doesn't either realize that.

I think maybe you might be feeling abandoned from the father of your child. Maybe you feel the way you do because of the rejection from a man that you have a child by. That feeling of rejection is indescribable. I know that that feeling, I don't think that anyone that hasn't been through that truly knows that feeling but can only assume. It can become all consuming and will make you, as you said: lose confidence in yourself and feel worthless. I will say that some women that might go through the same thing might not feel the same or have the same reaction, not sure why that is.

With the "what ifs" I think everyone does that and I would think will always to that to some degree.

I will give you the best advise I know, only wish someone had suggested it years ago. Talk to someone, really. It will help, don't hold it in, you have to vent or it will stay bottled up and then over time the pain may seem to fade but then it can pop up when you least expect it. My prayers are with you and your little boy. Remember, he loves you more than anything and it sounds like you love him the same...

[MichelleLee111]

Hi Lucy,
Remember that this time with your son is temporary. They really do grow up fast.
I suggest finding mom's groups and joining so that you can connect with other mothers. You'll find that you have a lot in common. Your feelings are very common being home with a young child most of the time. Do you belong to a gym? Getting out and exercising will help too. Many gyms have free childcare, this will also give you some time away. If not put the little guy in a stroller and get some fresh air. Make sure you're eating right too.

Blessings!

[manga]

Mom's group is an awesome idea that the others advise!

As for yourself. Have goals you can do to help you feel better about the things you're doing. Inspiring books, things you want to do with your child or imagine doing. Create ideas to look forward to.

Just remember sadness may seem forever but it didn't take you over night to get to this darkness. You have opportunity now to prevent any more from happening. It'll take time so mind yourself patience and love for lucy lou!

[YeloDasy]

I agree with the above posts. Postpartum might be a possibility, plus the loss of a relationship, and being a single mom can feel lonely. Joining groups is a great idea, and seek professional opinion on the postpartum!You sound like a great mom and would love to see you happy!