[Christine7]

How can he say he is madly in love me when he goes back.
Ive been seeing this man for over 12months when I first meet him he was living with a mate after 6
Months he went back to his wife and over the last 6months he keeps telling me its loyalty to his wife, he tells ne its about his house he wants her out and he wants me to live with him I've tried to get him to leave me alone but its hard I do have feelings for him even with how he has treated me I just wish it was easy, I understand that the man is marriade but when I meet him he wasn't with her and when I came along she would leave him alone no matter what he said to her I'm so blanked in the head.

[Wondergirl]

He sounds like a yo-yo, and his wife is in control. Do No Contact and see if he leaves her. I'm betting he doesn't. Meanwhile, with you around and available, why should he? (Have you heard the expression about buying the cow?) But then, remember, he cheated on his wife, so he will cheat on you too when something better comes along.

[DoulaLC]

He wasn't really free to be with you in the first place. Tell him you no longer want him to contact you and be sure you do nothing to encourage him to do so. Do not answer his calls, do not return text messages, etc..

Once you get passed this, you will be free to find someone who is truly able to be with you alone.

[Christine7]

Haven't heard about buying cow can you please explain?

[Wondergirl]

"Why buy the cow when you can get the milk free?"

Why commit or get married? Her sexual services are already easily available to me.

[Jake2008]

What he has done, is the right thing. He briefly separated from his wife, decided to go back, and he has said to you that his loyalty is with her. That is a man trying to repair his marriage, and get hs life back on track.

You cannot be faulted for meeting and dating him, while he was legally (I presume) separated. He was available at that time.

But he has made a choice, and that choice does not include you. He may still hedge from time to time, or you may contact him, or in other words, maintain some sort of connection, even if it is Facebook, or texting or what have you. But, as long as you do that, you are messing around with a married man, and he needs to be left alone.

Three people in one relationship will never, ever work out for his marriage. He owes that to his wife, and he owes you complete closure, by making it clear that your relationship with him, is over.

To allow him to continue to know that you are available, and to keep that connection between you, will only cause heartache. He is essentially not available to have a relationship with you, as long as he has chosen, and is living with, his wife. No matter what he has said and done in the past.

While you continually invest emotionally with a married man, you are robbing yourself of your own freedom and independence. Think about the advantages to what you are doing now. What will the prize be for this investment- a man who remains married. I hope there are no children involved, and if there are, all the more reason to realize that lives are forever broken, when a marriage breaks down because of 'the other woman'.

And you are, now, 'the other woman', because you know he is married. Regardless of what he does or says now, he is married, and you have no business carrying on with him. If he cannot stop himself, you must stop him. Don't let this take over your life, because it will.

Find a single man after you have found your footing and confidence again. A man with no invested interest in keeping a woman on the side in case his marriage doesn't work out, or a woman on the side just for sex (which is essentially what it will be). Have someone with a clear conscience who doesn't have to make excuses after excuses as to why he 'hasn't left her yet', because every and all excuse is lame, and not to be believed.

He is not single. You should be single, and enjoying your life. Not mixed up with a man who is married.