[courtney7106]

I am a fairly religious 19 year old girl. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 and a half years. I'd like to be thought of as more than just a 19 year old. Yes, I believe I am in love, but I don't necessarily believe it is simply because I am immature. Maybe I just know myself very well. I think about this website a lot because I had a miscarriage in July. I ask questions on this website fairly often, but I honestly think the reason I think about this website so much is beacause I want to be pregnant. The truth is that I fell in love with my baby as soon as I found out I was pregnant. My whole life was about to change and I was going to give up my dream of having the perfect family. I wanted to be married before I got pregnant. Now I just wish that I could have one thing I want out of this. I want to be pregnant, but I want to be pregnant after I am married. I feel that I won't be happy until I get 1 of those things. All I can think about is pregnancy. I constantly think I am pregnant, and take tests only to find a negative response. Why has this miscarriage changed my life like this?

[answerme_tender]

You have been through an emotional experience. You have lost your baby. You need to mourn. We all deal with loss differently. Try talking to someone about your loss, it can be family,councelor, or even religious leader. I lost our second child by miscarriage. I have stated before and will let you know that I take the time every year on that day to remember that loss. I don't think you can deal with a loss like this by just replacing it with another pregnancy, that is just covering up the pain and not dealing with it.
Don't rush things in your life. Take it one step at a time, you see time will help you heal. Iam sorry for your loss, keep us posted.

[Enigma1999]

Hello Courtney,

This person that you are with, does he know how badly you want to get pregnant?

Yes, getting pregnant after marriage is a good idea. I do think that you are a little young to get married and have a baby.

I would concenrate on college and a career first. Why? Because babies are expensive. It is always good to formulate a plan first. You are young, and will have your opportunity to have the "American dream". Just don't rush it. Also, if you do marry this person, then have a couple of years alone with him first.

[courtney7106]

He doesn't know exactly how much I think about it, or how much I want it. He knows that I get upset about losing the baby a lot. He doesn't understand why I get so upset.

[courtney7106]

I don't know how else I can be happy again and how I can stop thinking about it. Thank you for your advice and I will keep you updated.