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bree222 · Oct 5, 2010, 11:00 AM

Hi my names breeana and I have a problem and need held I'm 14 and my birthday is in 2 mnths ill be 15 well I have been living with my dad for about 7 years and about 5 of those years my dad took me away from my mom to were I had no contact with her what so ever he even took me out of state and during that time I've bounced from school to school he would be with a lot of girls after 1 of his ex's left him and after she left we had not that much food in the house my sisters an brothers would ask me to get food from my friends an he even showed me scrach marks on his back and we all no what I mean and he was lafing about it and he made me smell some weed he had bought for his girl friend I pretty much raised my little brothers an sister durning this time I got back in contact with my mom because my sister had to come live with us cause she go in some trouble she gave my moms number an since she been trying 2 get us when we wer gone she would put out missing people reports on us but now but I am veerryyy depressed I cry myself 2 sleep most of nights and I have cut my arms before and I've messed up a little but I don't really get to see her my dad took us 6 hours away from her I haven't seen her for about 3 months an I don't know when ima get to c her...

My question is can I go live with my mom with out anyone getting into trouble?
PLEASE HELP ME!? I don't know what to do anymore

JudyKayTee · Oct 5, 2010, 12:29 PM

You can't just pick yourself up and move. Even if your father doesn't care if you go your mother would not have legal custody.

What are the circumstances of your father "taking you away?" It has to be a Court Order or your mother could have just gone and picked you up, taken you back.

If you are being abused or neglected you must contact an adult who has the authority to change things - Child Protective Services, a relative who will speak for you, a teacher, a clergyman. You also must protect your younger siblings.

What does you've "messed up a little" bit mean? If you are cutting I'm surprised no one has already stepped in.

Your mother can end this, too, by going to Court (or back to Court) and filing for custody of you and your siblings. She should do it NOW. You cannot decide by yourself where you want to live BUT the Court (and probably a Court-appointed social worker) will speak with you, speak with everyone involved, get the proof of your allegations and do whatever is in your best interest.

I realize you're 15 but please don't use text speak/chat speak on AMHD. I'm not 15 and I'm hard pressed to figure out what you're talking about.

I'm not sure you have the entire story from either parent - I don't see any way that you and your siblings have totally disappeared, missing persons reports are out for you, your sister (at least) knew your mother's phone number - is something missing from what you've posted?

Sounds like you are in a terrible situation. You need to take some action.

Any questions or thoughts?

(Is your Mom "qualified" to have custody - no problems with her?)

Let "us" know what is happening in your life.

bree222 · Oct 5, 2010, 12:47 PM

Hi and yes my dad has hit me he's busted my lip before my moms been trying to get us I really don't no what to do I'm confused I want to move with her so bad I'm miserable at my dads I'm not happy here I'm happy with my mom I've tried telling people about this but no one really listens and my dad lies an says he never done nothing he puts on an act in front of people..

JudyKayTee · Oct 5, 2010, 01:22 PM

I've asked that this be moved to your own thread, following your answer.

Yes, you HAVE to go to a child protective service OR your mother has to file a motion to get custody.

What has your mom been doing to get custody?

Could you answer my other questions, too, so I understand better?

Fr_Chuck · Oct 5, 2010, 06:14 PM

You call the police or children service and if there is truth to your dads abuse, they may take you into their custody to start with.

You mom has to go to court and ask to modify the court order to give her custody of the kids.

tickle · Oct 7, 2010, 08:43 AM

Originally Posted by bree222

hi and yes my dad has hit me hes busted my lip before my moms been trying to get us i really dont no what to do im confused i wanna move with her so bad im miserable at my dads im not happy here im happy with my mom iv tryed telling people about this but noone really listens and my dad lies an says he never done nothing he puts on an act in front of people..

Hi Bree, we are here to help you as much as we can; please keep posting and let us know on a daily basis how you are doing to get moved to your mom's. I know Judy advised you to talk to someone at your church because the school didn't seem to be too helpful. Have you talked to the church yet ? If so, how did it go ? Good luck and keep us posted.

Tick

Homegirl 50 · Oct 7, 2010, 11:12 AM

Bree we are here for you and will do as much as we can.
Keep us posted on a daily basis, let us know how things are going.
Have you spoken to someone at your church, are you able to talk to your mom?

JudyKayTee · Oct 7, 2010, 11:21 AM

Bree, I'm going to be gone for a few days. I have asked some friends who give VERY good advice and have VERY big hearts to join "us" here and keep you company while I'm gone.

Keep posting and you are in my thoughts.

jmjoseph · Oct 7, 2010, 01:32 PM

Get some help from someone who you feel closest to. Any minister or priest can, and will, help you.

Think of the good times ahead when you get out on your own, away from the bad influences, and violent behavior. Life does indeed get better. You just have to make the decision to make the changes.

Be brave, be tough, and be smart.

God bless you.

Homegirl 50 · Oct 8, 2010, 06:21 PM

How's it going Bree?
We want you to keep in touch OK?

bree222 · Oct 8, 2010, 09:40 PM

Hi I'm good I've talkd 2 my mom a little thank you so much 4 caring I haven't got a chance to tlk 2 my church but god bless you gise

bree222 · Oct 8, 2010, 09:41 PM

Thnkz 4 caring an god bless you I've been OK I've tlkd 2 my mom a little I haven't got a chance 2 contact the church

Homegirl 50 · Oct 9, 2010, 08:10 AM

Well you keep in touch.
We are here for you.

Homegirl 50 · Oct 11, 2010, 04:58 PM

Just checking in on you Bree.
I hope all is well.

JudyKayTee · Oct 11, 2010, 05:07 PM

Bree, I'm so glad to see you posted. You've been on my thoughts. PLEASE let me know how things are going!

ScottGem · Oct 11, 2010, 05:29 PM

First, may I call your attention to the guidelines for using the comments feature found here:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/feedba...ure-24951.html

It will make it easier for us to help you if you use the Answer options rather than the comments. It will also make it easier for us to help, if you provide us with more info. From some of the things you said, it sounds like your father took you and kept you hidden from your mother. If that's true, he can get in trouble for that and make it easier for your mom to get custody.

You need to talks to your mom and find out exactly what happened when your father took you away from her. You might try having mom set up an account here and post to this thread giving us that info.

bree222 · Mar 28, 2012, 07:16 AM

OK I will try and have her make an account and talk to, and its been awile guys since I've been here lifes just been crazy and we are stilling going through this and my mom is still struggling with getting me and my brothers back.