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    jes0420's Avatar
    jes0420 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Oct 1, 2010, 11:16 PM
    Did I completely scare her off?
    I have known this girl for a long time and finally worked up the nerve to ask her out. After that I decided that a would ask her out to lunch. That went really well, but that night I asked her "if I where to ask you out again, what would you say". She said she liked me, but she didn't think that she could start dating me because she just got out of a relationship that didn't end well, he hurt her a lot. After that, like an idiot I told her that I wish there was something that I could to help her and I told her I liked her a lot too, and I would have never just dumped her like the other guy did. She didn't answer me, and so for some reason I kept texting her (yes texting her, like a fool). Then I called her the next day and she answered crying because of something that had happened earlier that day. After this I couldn't sleep, and all I could think about was her, and what was wrong, and what had happened to make her cry. I asked her to call me a couple of times, and finally she told me that she couldn't handle anything else tonight and to talk to her tomorrow. I didn't talk to her the next day, because I felt like she didn't really want to talk to me. I texted her the next day and told her that I had decided to just leave her alone for a while, and she could call me when things where less hectic if she wanted to. She still hasn't called me. All I can think about is this girl, and how great it would be if we where together. I can't sleep, and can't think about anything els. Did I completely scare her off? Please tell me what to do.
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #2

    Oct 1, 2010, 11:53 PM
    I don't think you scard her off at all.

    Had you kept up with the texting, and not restrained yourself, and given her the respect that you did, my answer would have been different.

    I would wait a week or so, and then email, or phone- not text- and see if she might be interested in going for a coffee. Nothng serious, just some coffee and conversation.

    See where that takes you, but try maybe a little harder, when you are with her, not to dig too deep, or offer too much personally.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #3

    Oct 2, 2010, 09:16 AM

    Quit texting her telling her stuff. Back off, and let her handle her business, as she needs a friend, not a hang around waiting for a chance guy.

    That's what you are, and I recommend you leave her alone, unless she reaches out to you. You have your own agenda, and will make a lousy friend any way. And get that fantasy about how great it would be to get with her romantically would be, out of your head, she says she doesn't want any part of your fantasy so leave her alone.

    She has rejected your romantic intentions move on. No texts, no calls!! If you can't be a real friend with no agenda or ulterior motives, just be a good guy, and forget her.That would be doing the right thing for you both, and I am sure you don't want to take advantage of a person during there vulnerable times, would you? No butts, leave her alone
    KoolAide187's Avatar
    KoolAide187 Posts: 94, Reputation: 21
    Junior Member
     
    #4

    Oct 16, 2010, 08:29 PM
    Sounds to me like she has other issues besides just her boyfriend and you bothering her. Her crying over the phone could had been fake just to get you off the phone. Girls have done more weird things in life... Plain and simple if she wanted anything to do with you. She would text you or call you. You can't let your fantasies of the perfect life with this girl to play a role in your life. It's most likely not going to happen. Like Jake said... tell her you will be there for her if she needs you for anything ex: to talk. Your best bet is to leave her alone though. You never know she may call you up one day but don't count on it. She has friends she doesn't need you to be a friend. She doesn't need you to save her even though I am sure you want to do that more than anything in this world.

    Move on man that is the best advice I can give you. There really isn't any way that you will work your way into her life with the situation you and her are in at the present moment. Best you can hope for is to go work out and get sexy... get some tattoos, peircings... **** that make you look better to girls... come back and talk to her later down the road and see how she has been doing since the last time you talked... Who knows she may fall head over heels for you the next time she sees you. Chances are you will find somebody else who will be in your life that totally makes you forget about this girl. The working out, tattoos, peircings are just ideas to change up your appearance they are not nessisary. I am just throwing things out there for you to focus your mind on besides women. You would be changing yourself for you and nobody else. To feel confident about yourself. Anyway good luck.
    artlady's Avatar
    artlady Posts: 4,208, Reputation: 1477
    Ultra Member
     
    #5

    Oct 16, 2010, 08:38 PM

    She is not into you and she is only into as a go to guy.

    Cut your losses now and let it go.
    For real.

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