[Problemchild1]

Hi I'm a 21 years old male I'm here for help with some issues that I'm trying to deal with but don't know so please take your time to read my story and help me or give me some advice.

This is me, a straight male who had never been or slept with a man before; I have been straight for like 20 years I never had those gay thoughts or feelings. It started in FEB. 2010 I was sleeping with my best friend on small a bed, I was trying to reach for the cover and I felt his penis, honestly I don't know how it happened but I started touching his penis - when I'm done with my curiosity I went back to sleep but ever since that day when we sleep on the same bed I keep on doing the same thing.

One day I decided to tell him that I'm so confused, I told him that I had be touching him when he's asleep, he didn't get mad or say anything to hurt my feelings but he told me to control them which is hard to do. He let me snuggle, cuddle with him but when I'm trying to touch his penis he pushes my hand away sometimes, he just let it go but He don't do those things to me though; He said reason why he don't get mad at me is because he knows that I'm not really gay or bi.

Honestly people I don't want to have sex with him or suck him I just like to touch him that's all and I only have those feelings for him when I'm with other guys I'm 100% straight but when I'm with him and we are alone I keep having those feelings for him, I don't know if this a crush but I just have strong feelings for my best friend and I'm trying to change but I just don't know how.

I talked to my friend about it almost every day but he keeps telling me to relax, the feelings will go away one day and he told me not worry about having those feelings and just pray. I Love my best friend, not because he's trying to deal with me touching him but because he's a true friend no doubt about it; anyway english is not that great but I tried lol so please I'm begging y'all to read my story and help me find the true side of me. I love women by the way. Thanks

[starchamberfall]

You are a young male. Period! Young, ordinary males do better sleeping apart. You are attracted to your friend because you look up to him. You are projecting yourself on him, and are excited by the idea of who you could be: a man.

[Problemchild1]

Thanks for the reply but i didn't really get your point. starchamberfall

[i_love_iphones]

Hi,
Most likely you are bi-curious. When you touch him do you feel some sort of sexual urge? If you do, then your bi-curious (if not then your still bi-curiouse because you have been touching another person of the same sex). I believe that over time people who are bi-curious end up become bisexual. On the other hand some believe it's just a phase, but no whatever feelings you have now are going to stay with you forever. I think you should go to a LGBTQ club in your school and seek advice from them also, or from the community. Hope this helps. Good Luck!

[boredandalone24]

Ew.

[Magnetic_Soul]

Personally, I think you're bisexual. Just because he's the only guy you've ever had feelings for doesn't mean that you're not bisexual. I'm 23 years old and I've never been in love or had feelings for anyone, but that doesn't mean that I'm not able to fall in love. What I mean is, some people will fall in love ten times in their life, while some people are lucky if they fall in love once in their life. So if you're bisexual then you've been bisexual your whole life but you just may have never known it because you've never met anyone that you could feel that way about, until now. It's nothing to be scared of.

As for your friend, it sounds like he might be in some religion that tells him that he and other people can't be gay or bisexual, since he is saying things like "just pray and it will go away." If someone is gay or bisexual, no amount of praying will ever make it go away!

Also, you are really very lucky that he wasn't upset. Most guys would've been pissed off or really angry if they found out that some guy was touching their penis. It sounds like your friend might be gay or bisexual if he lets you cuddle with him. It is very VERY unusual for a guy to let another guy cuddle with him unless he's gay or bisexual, but your friend may be in denial if he is a Christian or in some other religion or part of a family that forbids being gay/lesbian/bisexual.

Like I said, there's absolutely nothing to be ashamed of in being gay or bisexual. Although, if your friend doesn't want you to touch his penis then you really shouldn't touch it because it could be considered sexual harassment. Not to scare you or anything but I just thought you should know. Even if he is gay (which Im not saying he is. He might be gay, or he might not be gay) but even if he is gay, it's still considered sexual harassment if he doesn't want you to touch him there.

[chloe085]

Hey. It sounds to me that you love your friend dearly as a friend and as a lover but not sexually. Don't label yourself hun. It doesn't mean you want sexual things. If you are curious don't be afraid to find out with someone else or have phone sex with another man and see if you enjoy it. Don't be afraid because you are who you are, enjoy it. Don't worry about it if you're straight. If you're not sure go and find out, its scary but fun. Good luck dude.

[gillerman12]

You are probably just psyching yourself out. You care about your friend emotionally but because your so young and hormone charged your emotions manifested in a sexual way. Sexual touch involves contact and this establishes a physical connection so don't worry. You don't want his junk you really just want to hang