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roropie · Dec 29, 2006, 03:56 AM

Story(read it first):
Ok, I'm 13 and last year me and this guy (let's call him Tom) went out. But we weren't ready for it. We went on three dates over the course of four months. We never held hands, never kissed, never anything! I wanted to kiss etc.. And I think he did too, but we were both way too nervous to make a move. Finally, I met this really cute guy in the grade above me, and a month later, really gently, really nicely, and really sadly I dumped Tom. I was literally sneaking into bathrooms on breaks and crying about it.:( Later I found out it was a mistake to go chasing after the really cute guy (lets call him Ben) because he thought I was just a little 7th grade twit and shouldn't be bothered with. Anyway, Ben is gone off to high school now, and there are plenty of guys in my school; nearly 700 students. But at the beginning of this year, I've found myself liking Tom more and more.

Now, I'll just tell you that last year, he was the one that did the obsessing, and he was the one who sent me romantic emails. But I had to ask him out. (I'm sorry if this story is a little all over the place, just bear with me and read it again if you have to)

So now that I like Tom again, I would expect him to feel that fling coming back...
But no. Around the same time that I started liking him, he got a girlfriend. She was short, not that pretty, chubbyish, daft, and boring. I'm not just saying that because I liked Tom, It's true. I mean she wore a Puffy pink jacket with "buckles" all over it when it snowed. Come on. Anyway, they kissed a few times, held hands etc.. All the while I'm getting madder and madder that we never did that! Keep in mind he was the one that was crazy about me. Recently he dumped her, and all my friends are like "Ooo! Go for it! Go for it! He he he he!" But you can't just do that. And I had the suspicion that he didn't like me.

A couple weeks ago I deployed one of my friends to "secretly" tell him that I like him. To his eye, I had nothing to do with it, it was just my little friend blabbing. But around the same time, the local slut (let's call her Jen) had kissed him.:mad: She had been my friend, and had known that I liked Tom. Yet, they went out; to my fury.:mad: I mean he doesn't belong to me, but, my own friend! And she could have any boy she wanted! (large breasts). She has had around 12 boyfriends since the beginning of last year. No joke!:eek:

Anyway, she broke up with him, and now he is sending her notes saying "I love you." and "You broke my heart!". But when they were going out (and still) he is always commenting on her like "You have a really nice ." and "I love your body." Now that is the thing that REALLY turns me off about him. This year he has turned into a real . I just can't shake the feeling that I really really like him. And he is so funny, and he used to be super sweet to me, (and still is sometimes), really smart and helpful when I don't get something, and in my eyes, super cute.:rolleyes: I don't mean to brag but I'm not to bad looking either. I know you're all going to say "Just dump his and move on!" But believe me, I've tried. :(

Problem:
So I really really like him, but he is infatuated with Jen, and Jen is a real flirt. Even if someone is in a relationship she will come over and stroke their hair, and tease them etc..
My goal is to let him like me again, move his attention off Jen, and on to me.

My other mini-problem is that I've never kissed anyone before, and he has, so if we do kiss, I'm afraid he won't like me because I have no experience.

Please Please PLEASE give me any advice, solutions, tips etc.. or if you just have a question about the story (because it's very long and in little bits all over the place)
Answer! Thx sooo much if you answer because I have been thinking about this forever, and have had no help from my friends.

Thx
Roropie

educatedhorse_2005 · Dec 29, 2006, 04:42 AM

Have gone to him and told him how you feel.
Sometime the direct course is the best approach.
Do not play games with him just tell him how you feel.

Abuhar · Dec 29, 2006, 09:02 AM

I liked your story, in terms of how it is written. I think you girl have a writer's talent.
As for your problem, I wish to believe that he too remembers and appreciate your previous with him nice relationship and feelings. But I don't know for sure. To tell him directly - is risky to you, because his reaction may hurt - in worse case scenario. But to try to find out his attitude for you is possible with less risky actions: find out what he likes, his habits, interests, or problems and try to help him to solve them, or to give him what belongs to his interests, habits, likes. It isn't easy, but as I said it is less risky and more challenging.
As for kiss, if he likes you it doesn't matter that you are less skillful. He appreciates your feelings, and kisses are the easy thing to learn. Good luck!

CaptainForest · Dec 29, 2006, 09:01 PM

Hello Roropie,

First off, I have to compliment you on your writing.

The story was clear and easy to follow.

Now, on to your questions…

Trust me, he is not going to lose interest in Jen overnight. Heck, I would like to see her. Except she is probably 13, and that would make her a bit too young, but I think you get my point.

The others who have posted have given some good advice which I agree with. Talk to him directly, yourself. That is, go up to him and talk with him. You 2 once dated, so he either enjoyed it or didn't.

Go to him and tell him you like him and perhaps ask him out.

He might say yes, and you can go out.

But, he might say no, so you need to be prepared for that possibility.

After all, you did dump him, his feelings might have been hurt. Perhaps if you explained to him how you regret dumping him, that will help ease his ego and feelings over being dumped.

As for the kissing, I doubt he is very good himself still. So I doubt he would leave you over that.

wizzkid89 · Dec 30, 2006, 04:02 PM

First props to captain for making a funny...

I also want to say I agree with the previous advice given, and since I don't want to repeat anything, I am going to try a different angle...

O.K. the first thing I would tell you to do is to go directly up to him and say how bad you feel about him and Jen breaking up. That way he knows you care for him in someway, friend or otherwise, and it allows you to strike up a conversation. In the conversation where you are talking about how bad you feel for him, you could try and say something to the affect that he can come and contact you(call, email), if he is feeling really sad or something. Maybe something like "You can call me if you are feeling sad, or need someone to talk to." He really might appreciate that, and possibly even take you up on that offer, which would allow you to start your relationship over. In my mind, you have the perfect opportunity to get close to him because of Jen. If you can be his shoulder to cry on, you can get really really close to him, and once you have gotten comfortable with how close you two have gotten, then I would advise you to come right out and voice your affection for him. The whole being the shoulder to cry on might take some time though, so try and play it carefully, never push it, it will come in time. Through the course of you helping him and listening to him, he will begin to trust you more. And if he doesn't call you or email after your conversation, it might be a good idea to send an email to him asking him how he is holding up. Think of him as an oyster, and you are trying to crack his shell to get to the soft underbelly. You have to be persistent without being aggressive. Anyway, like I said just try and become his friend, and once that is established you can confront him on being his girlfriend. And most likely he will want you to be, because he already liked you, and with you to becoming close friends, those feelings he had for you most likely will be stirred up...

As for kissing, don't even worry about it, everyone has to learn sometime, and he might even like the idea of teaching you ;)...

Good luck

roropie · Jan 2, 2007, 10:57 PM

Thx for all these witty and helpful answers! You should see "Jen" (not her real name, in case my friends see this. Gives new meaning to the phrase "Social Security"), the male teachers get an eyeful when they can. It's sick. She should go to an all girls school until her body catches up with her brain.

Anyway, the problem with the "shoulder to cry on" (great idea!) is that ever since I "dumped" him, he's given me the cold sholder. Every party I invite him to or every party both of us are invited to, he turns down because he's "Visiting his Dad". He never talks to me seriously, but he does that thing that boys do when they like you, you know. They try to impress you, tell you jokes, insult other people in front of you, flirt with you and give you those "you're hot" looks. He really is a prick. I just really like him. In my mind, he's cute, but lots of people are put off by his big nose. I think It's super cute. :)

I'm getting mixed messages. Body language says he likes me, verbal not so hot.
I'm confused :S

roropie · Jan 2, 2007, 11:06 PM

P.S. He knows I like him, and whenever I email or IM him he never responds. Or he responds with short, unclear and misspelled stuff. Mind you, he never spells anything right...

talaniman · Jan 3, 2007, 08:35 AM

I think he is still smarting over being dumped so he may not be a good fit for you about now. He may think you'll dump him again. Are you sure you like a guy who can't open up to you or even return your calls? Or are you being pulled to him cause he acts so distant? Leave him alone for a while and see if he chases you a little, if not oopps! Wrong guy.

wizzkid89 · Jan 3, 2007, 10:25 PM

What about possibly writing him a letter expressing his feelings, that might give him an opportunity to see the relationship you two have, without feeling pressured with you being near him. He might feel that he has to put on this macho façade in order to show you that his life hasn't been tainted since you dumped him. A letter would allow him to collect his feelings on his own time, and if that kind of direct approach doesn't provoke him to act more socially acceptable towards you then I don't know what will.

... Also you might want to consider what tally said, yes he's crazy and thinks Ohio state is the stuff, but he still is right from time to time...

roropie · Jan 4, 2007, 12:19 AM

Thx so much whizz and tala! With each post I get wiser. :P

But a question for Whizz: What kind of letter? I suspect he's changed his email by now.
I do know his postal code, but that would be a little weird, and his parents might open it in advance. There the sort of parents who go through his stuff, listen in on his phone calls and secretly save his MSN convos then read them while he's at school. (I know because we talked on the phone and MSNed and not many other people knew about us. He didn't TELL his parents. Apparently they printed up one of our convos and put it on the fridge. Thought it was cute. I've been avoiding them ever since.)

Anyway, should I put a letter in his desk? But then there's the risk of him reading it with his friends.
??
Great Idea, but how to use it...

P.S. Was that a typo "What about possibly writing him a letter expressing his feelings" ? Just wondering :)

wizzkid89 · Jan 4, 2007, 12:42 AM

Yeah it was a typo... sorry sometimes my fingers don't move as fast as my mind. I would suggest that you give it to him as he is about to leave to go home. That way he probably won't open it up in front of his friends, and unless he shows his parents they won't know either. I would like to think he wouldn't show his friends, but sadly it is a risk you are going to have to take, but hopefully if you give it to him as he is leaving, it will decrease that risk drastically. If you have any more questions, don't be afraid to ask...