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Lethalan · Sep 22, 2010, 02:30 PM

Hi,

I just need someone's advice on the matter I've been talking to my cousin a lot recently and we have bonded more than the phrase suggests we love each other but the problem is we are blood related so we don't know what to do I want to get with her I love her but she doesn't want to upset anyone I also need to know it it's legal seeing as I'm 18 and she's 15 this October I really don't know what to do if anyone can give me any advice at all please I need help.

Regards,
Robert

Eileen G · Sep 22, 2010, 03:21 PM

Find someone else. I'm sorry, I know that's not what you want to hear, but first cousin is too close to date, and the difference in age is too big at this stage for a good relationship. And as you mentioned, it's not even legal.

Go and date someone else, someone who is your own age. It probably won't be the love of your life, but it will give you some space. It really is not fair of you to involve a 15 year old girl in anything at this stage.

J_9 · Sep 22, 2010, 04:02 PM

Incest is what I am thinking. I know, I know.. incest between siblings, etc.

But this is just sick. You are 18 and she is currently 14. If it weren't even for the blood relations, this is still illegal due to your ages.

Enigma1999 · Sep 22, 2010, 04:11 PM

Hello Robert,

This is wrong on so many levels. First, she is a minor (14) and you are considered an adult. If you two were to engage in sexual activities, you could be arrested.

Also, even if she were of age, the fact that you want to be with your first cousin is beyond me. Think of the damage this would cause between you, her, and family.

Sorry to sound so blunt.

Kitkat22 · Sep 22, 2010, 04:53 PM

Both of you need to look at the repercussions this will have on your families. You are too old for her and you could find yourself breaking up a family. You are thinking of what you want. It's sick and perverted. Once you break both families apart it will never be the same.

You could also go to jail. Her father finds out.. what in the world will he do? Think about this.

Enigma1999 · Sep 22, 2010, 04:58 PM

Originally Posted by Kitkat22

Both of you need to look at the repercussions this will have on your families. You are too old for her and you could find yourself breaking up a family. You are thinking of what you want. It's sick and perverted. Once you break both families apart it will never be the same.

You could also go to jail. Her father finds out..what in the world will he do? Think about this.

I agree here. Had to spread the rep.

I think that the op should just remain quiet about this, and hopefully his little infatuation will subside.

Some things are better left unsaid.

Fr_Chuck · Sep 22, 2010, 07:00 PM

Currently about 20 states in the US allow first cousins to marry.
It is also more common in some other cultures.
In general ( don't have the links) many studies show that there is not a large increase of risk for births between first cousins.

I have my personals issues with it, but it is more common than some realise.

What I have the issue with mostly is the age difference where one is just a child and too easily controlled by a older person.

dontknownuthin · Sep 23, 2010, 05:43 AM

I had some Egyptian friends who had an arranged marriage and were first cousins. But if you're from the US it's illegal because of the age difference, and in 30 states would also be illegal because it would be considered incest.

Whether there would be genetic issues if you had children would depend on your personal genetics.

This is not at all a boundary I would cross - either the age or the cousin thing would creep me out, and combined, it's really not at all right.