[dannyo013]

She isn't any of these things. People are so judge-mental these days. And I asked HER to marry ME! I asked her out, I asked her for her number! All that crap! Stop criticizing her! If you're going to criticize anyone, criticize me!

[dannyo013]

I have a job, I love, care, and support her in anyway she needs it without her even asking me. We haven't had sex and it isn't illegal when married. GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL YOU IMBECILE!

[Cat1864]

danny, the 'comment box' does not alert us that you have responded to the thread. Please use the Answer box at the bottom of the page. It does tell us when you respond.

Danny, a long engagement of two years would allow you both to be certain that this is the best relationship for both of you. It would take out the need for parental permission, too and show that you are both better able to handle the changes that come with marriage.

IF you are so set on marriage right this minute, I think you should take a marriage preparation class together. Many churches and communities have them available. In some places taking one can get you a huge discount on the marriage license fee.

How long have you known this woman and how well do you really know her? I don't recommend marrying anyone that you have known less than a year. It takes months to really know enough about the ins and outs of someone else's personality and quirks and for them to know yours before a really stable foundation for a lasting relationship is formed.

Are you truly ready to become an adult in the eyes of the law? It means that you get the responsibilities without the perks. You become responsible for yourself and all of your needs and hers (marriage is a joint endeavor), but you still can't vote or legally drink and smoke.

Be certain this is what you want and not just because she makes you happier than you ever have been. You shouldn't put anyone other than yourself in the position of 'making' you happy. It isn't fair to them or you.

[Enigma1999]

So... you do realize that an older women liking a guy in high school is because she wants to feel adored and worshiped and like she has the upper hand in the relationship right? SO either she is like obese, greasy, and can't get anyone better, OR... you are what is referred to as a "boy-toy". Either way all I can really think to say is "EW." Good day.

Although I do agree with the fact that a 23 year old would want to be with a 16 year old is wrong on so many levels.

I have to disagree, respectfully with you about her weight size being a reason why she has gravitated to this 16 year old.

I don't think her looks is a reason. I believe that either she is a sick woman, or she genuinely fell in love with a minor. Wrong? Yes. However, it has been known to happen.

[dannyo013]

danny, the 'comment box' does not alert us that you have responded to the thread. Please use the Answer box at the bottom of the page. It does tell us when you respond.

Danny, a long engagement of two years would allow you both to be certain that this is the best relationship for both of you. It would take out the need for parental permission, too and show that you are both better able to handle the changes that come with marriage.

IF you are so set on marriage right this minute, I think you should take a marriage preparation class together. Many churches and communities have them available. In some places taking one can get you a huge discount on the marriage license fee.

How long have you known this woman and how well do you really know her? I don't recommend marrying anyone that you have known less than a year. It takes months to really know enough about the ins and outs of someone else's personality and quirks and for them to know yours before a really stable foundation for a lasting relationship is formed.

Are you truly ready to become an adult in the eyes of the law? It means that you get the responsibilities without the perks. You become responsible for yourself and all of your needs and hers (marriage is a joint endeavor), but you still can't vote or legally drink and smoke.

Be certain this is what you want and not just because she makes you happier than you ever have been. You shouldn't put anyone other than yourself in the position of 'making' you happy. It isn't fair to them or you.

I have decided to marry her and that is what I will do. Getting married solves legal issues as far as her and I being together. Its not just that she makes me happy. She has been there for me through some of my worst relationships and truly cares about me and my feelings. I do the same for her when she needs it.

Oh, and cat, you are the only person on this page that hasn't criticized me or given me grief over my decision. Thank you for being insightful and trying to help.
I will look into a few things as far as the laws and community goes. I will marry her one way or another, but I don't plan to wait till I'm 18 to do it.

[dannyo013]

As far as your two options, it is the latter. Whether this marriage is wrong or not is a matter of opinion.

[Cat1864]

Danny, please watch what you say and you might want to apologize for calling Homegirl a name. It is against the site rules. I don't want to see you banned because you couldn't carry on a discussion without resorting to name calling.

Whether you like it or not, the people on here are trying to help you see things in a different way.

By the way, in many states (such as mine, I don't know about yours) oral sex and touching of private parts is illegal. As is exposing one's self to minor or showing him/her adult-related materials (videos, movies, pictures, etc.) Just a few things for you to think about.

[Homegirl 50]

How long have you known this woman and do your parents know how old she is?

Have you even finished HS, do you plan on doing so? There is no way you are going to be able to take care of a wife and all of the responsibilities that go along with marriage if you can't get a job.
Perhaps this should wait until you are at least 18.

dannyo013 : I have a job, I love, care, and support her in anyway she needs it without her even asking me. We haven't had sex and it isnt illegal when married. GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL YOU IMBECILE!
With all due respect, you are the one with the problem here not me. You are 16 years old, no HS diploma. Do you make enough money to pay rent, support a child if there is one? Can you take care of the kind of business adults need to do? You are a minor, you can't even sign the lease on anything.
Your calling me names is showing your age and maturity level. Give yourself a couple of years or more.
You said you will find a way to marry. If your parents know about this I take it they won't sign for you.

[dannyo013]

danny, please watch what you say and you might want to apologize for calling Homegirl a name. It is against the site rules. I don't want to see you banned because you couldn't carry on a discussion without resorting to name calling.

Whether you like it or not, the people on here are trying to help you see things in a different way.

By the way, in many states (such as mine, I don't know about yours) oral sex and touching of private parts is illegal. As is exposing one's self to minor or showing him/her adult-related materials (videos, movies, pictures, etc.) Just a few things for you to think about.

I will keep this in mind in the future. I apologize, I am just becoming irritated with some of the "answers" on this page. I am protective of my fiancé more than anything and will fight to the death for her, insulting her is not the best way to stay on my good side. Plus, I believe "Imbecile" is a bit less harsh than "Child Molester". Im sure I cannot be the only one who thinks so.

[dannyo013]

My entire family knows her age and what we plan to do... Ive only said it 58 times already (exaggeration). If I were to wait till 18, we would end up going through court and her ending up in jail. Starting to get the bigger picture?

[Homegirl 50]

If you marry her when you are an adult then there is no legal problem.
And stop writing in the comment box.

[Enigma1999]

I will keep this in mind in the future. I apologize, I am just becoming irritated with some of the "answers" on this page. I am protective of my fiance more than anything and will fight to the death for her, insulting her is not the best way to stay on my good side. Plus, I believe "Imbecile" is a bit less harsh than "Child Molester". Im sure I cannot be the only one who thinks so.

I just would like to add that Homegirl gives great advice. She is not an "Imbecile"!

You have to understand that with the information that you have provided us with, you may not like the answers that you get. We aretrying to help you out. So please be respectful to those who are simply doing that for you.

Insulting the experts and great members of AMHD is not the best way to stay on OUR good side.

Please read the rules if you need a better understanding of how things work around here.

Thank you.

[dannyo013]

It's that simple. All I want is an answer, don't post if you are going to give me grief over this question. All I want to know is if it is legal for me to have sex with my fiancé after marriage.

[Homegirl 50]

Posting this in a different spot is not going work. It will just get merged with your other thread.
If you are married sex is not illegal, but you have to get get parental permission to marry her as you are a minor.
At her age she should know all of this. Have you even discussed this with her?

[Justwantfair]

I am going to second Cats suggestion to wait for marriage. Although it is difficult to comprehend at 16, your life will go through many changes emotionally and mentally before you reach the age of 23. Until that transition has occurred you are going to have a difficult time believing that there is a problem with a 23 year old and a 16 year old having a relationship. It's about life experiences and where you are in life that makes the age difference extreme.

At 16, life is all about growing up but that will come in time. Take the time to graduate high school, pursue college and a career, not a 'job', move out, manage bills, own a vehicle that is dependable. If she loves you and you love her, she will wait to marry you until you are 18. Your relationship can only grow with time, what is the rush other than wanting to legalize the ability to sleep together, if you are mature, you can focus on building a relationship that isn't based on sex and that will only contribute to the strength and foundation of your marriage.

[Cat1864]

dannyo013 : My entire family knows her age and what we plan to do... Ive only said it 58 times already (exaggeration). If I were to wait till 18, we would end up going through court and her ending up in jail. Starting to get the bigger picture?

If you don't do anything sexual, the courts/police can't and won't step in. Dating and abstinence is not a crime.

Take your time. You are making a decision for a lifetime. So don't rush it.

[cdad]

I have decided to marry her and that is what I will do. Getting married solves legal issues as far as her and I being together. Its not just that she makes me happy. She has been there for me through some of my worst relationships and truly cares about me and my feelings. I do the same for her when she needs it.

Oh, and cat, you are the only person on this page that hasnt criticized me or given me grief over my decision. Thank you for being insightful and trying to help.
I will look into a few things as far as the laws and community goes. I will marry her one way or another, but I dont plan to wait till im 18 to do it.

What legal issue does that solve? On your wedding night she can be arrested and put away and tagged for life. Marriage doesn't superceed the law. Your in a dream world. The law clearly address the issue of age and its consent involved. Since your ages are so far apart they are still guilty of a crime. Marriage alone is no defense.

RCW 9A.44.030: Defenses to prosecution under this chapter.

[ScottGem]

The whole chapter on Sexual offenses for your state can be found here:
Chapter 9A.44 RCW: Sex offenses

We've already told you that it would require parental consent to marry prior to age 18.

So given the laws of the state of Washington, I don't think you will find ANYONE to marry you even WITH parental consent. Since doing so would be allowing your fiancée to commit an illegal act.

Oh and by the way a 16 yr old is not a man . You are still a boy and legally a minor whether you like it or not.

That's the law whether you like it or not.

On a personal note, pedophiles are not only males. So far you have shown, by your actions here, that you are not mature enough to be making these decisions. Second, any reasonable person is going to question a 23 yr old having a relationship with a 16 yr old. Whatever the sexes on each side. I have a hard time accepting you at your word that your parents approve of this relationship.

From what you have written here it appears to me that you are as horny as H-E double hockey sticks. That you want sex in the worst way. That you are just rational enough to understand that doing it with a 23 yr old will get her jailed as a sex offender. Or maybe she is refusing you for that reason. In any event I see lust here, not love.

[tickle]

I have to say that, yes, scottgem has already ELABORATED on what would happen. And, I can't pinpoint the post but you stated 'so, just WHAT do I have to do have SEX WITH HER'. It would have been, 'just what do I have to do to make love to my woman', but you didn't say that.

If you don't want input, don't want answers, taking a little bit out of each response, to read what you want to, then you don't belong here. I still say you write better then I would imagine a l6 year old would write. So, who are you, and what do you want us to say?

I SUGGEST THIS THREAD BE CLOSED.

Tick

[tickle]

danny, what's the rush to propose and get married?

Long engagements take care of any legal problems and give you both a chance to work on a stable foundation for marriage.

I can see the reason, why can't you. She is holding out because she doesn't really want the advances of a 'l6 year old' who is pressuring her and can't see passed the sex part which she is not really willing to do. She knows what is going on.

Tick