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JaclynJ · Sep 20, 2010, 06:35 PM

I work in a admin office with 3 people, there is 1 person I cannot get along with, ever since I came back from having my baby she has been different towards me (I believe this) We spend all our working hours in the same room, this is really hard.
I don't hang out with them after work, she plans things in front of me with other workers and has lunch with them.
The other day I said to here I believed she said something to me a little harsh and she went mental, Like it was all in my head and that, why did I say that, she has been stressed out and I I've been nice and all, now she want talk about it, this has happened a couple of times.
Our work just thinks its all my head and I should just get over it, but so hard to work with somebody who couldn't give you the time of day.
What are your thoughts on this? Am I being stupid and is it all my doing?

Cheers

Enigma1999 · Sep 20, 2010, 07:10 PM

Hello Jaclyn,

First off, I just want to compliment you on your name, being I am a Jaclyn too. ;)

You mentioned that this woman that you don't get along with acted different ever since you returned from having your baby. Was she acting another way before, or the same?

How long have you and she been working there?

I think that since you already confronted her and she got upset, I woundn't even try doing that again.

You also mentioned that work thinks that this is in your head. Who thinks that? Your manager? Or the other women?

I don't think you are being "stupid" about this. Clearly she is hurting your feelings, and I do suspect that she knows she is doing this to you, or else she would have acted with remorse if she knew that she may have hurt your feelings.

JaclynJ · Sep 20, 2010, 07:46 PM

Thanks for your response.
We used to get along and would help each other with work related things, now I can't be bothered helping,

We have worked together for 3 years. I am 31 and she is 48ish?

Because I have been in this situation before, work think that I'm being silly and that I must issues somewhere else? Or in my head, I don't

She is hurting my feelings (which sounds stupid) and has never said sorry, cause she doesn't care.

I left work today with the OK of my HR, which is not a good look I know.

You advise is helpful thanks

Enigma1999 · Sep 20, 2010, 07:57 PM

It's amazing to me that ahe is the age that she is and treats people that way.

I think that with you just having a baby that your hormones amy have a little to do with it.

Still, there is no excuse for her behavior. I think that if it were me in your situation that I wouldn't give her the satisfaction of knowing that she bothers you. I would act as if eveything is OK. I would kill her with kindness.

In one ear and out the other, because lets face it, YOU have more important things to worry about, and so many great things (your new baby) to think about.

J_9 · Sep 20, 2010, 10:33 PM

Just a thought. Does she have children? Is she in menopause? Could she be jealous of the fact that you just had a new baby?

Enigma1999 · Sep 21, 2010, 07:40 AM

Originally Posted by J_9

Just a thought. Does she have children? Is she in menopause? Could she be jealous of the fact that you just had a new baby?

Had to spread the rep, j_9, but those are good questions.

I wish · Sep 21, 2010, 08:09 AM

You already did your part in asking her what her deal is. If she doesn't want to give you straight answers, then leave her be. No reason to escalate the situation as you already did your part anyway.

Hopefully with time, things will cool off, but if it doesn't, then I suggest you confront your manager about the situation.

answerme_tender · Sep 21, 2010, 08:50 AM

Its not easy, but don't let her get the best of you. You need to do treat this situation exactly how you would explain to your own child how to handle a bully!! You ignore her, but I would step up the effort of having conversation with the other ladies in the office and make sure you ask them if they would like to go out to lunch!! Buck up and continue doing you job to best of your ability and don't let this bully win, show her what your made of. If she gets to you, don't take day off, go rest room call her every name you can think of then go back laughing in front of her like you had been talking to the others and sharing a joke.
You have a wonderful child, but you will have to share your life experiences with to help him/her manage problems in the future, meeting them head on and not being to scared to stand up for yourself will be one. Good luck and congrats on your baby!!