|
|
|
|
Junior Member
|
|
Sep 12, 2010, 12:36 PM
|
|
Another guy that is hot then cold. How should I deal with this
So its another guy that acts hot then cold. We've been seeing each other for 2 months and I felt that we were vibing up until recently(this week) he's become distant. In the past 2 months we've spent nearly every weekend together so I don't know if its space that he needs or just not interested anymore. I can't help but feel like I've done something wrong from the last time we saw each other :| The texting is noticeably minimal now (he doesn't like to talk on the phone he claims) and last time I text him just to say hello he responded but haven't heard from since. I've been through this before with a previous guy and I got the hint... he never contacted again so I never did either. I'm just so sick of these men disappearing because they don't have the guts to just say its not working out. He's always been pretty vocal about asking me out so there is something defiantly going on. I know he knows I'm interested in him... perhaps I came across too interested and now he's pulling back? I don't think I have though, I've been outgoing and nothing but pleasant and myself but who knows what he thinks/wants from a girl. Should I leave him alone until he contacts? And if he even does, and ask what's the deal? I don't know what to say if he does. I'm not one to bother someone and I can take the hint... it just frustrates me that I'm left again wondering what went wrong.
|
|
|
Full Member
|
|
Sep 12, 2010, 02:13 PM
|
|
I think you said it well when you mentioned about leaving him alone until he contacts you and then you decide what you are going to do. It could well be that you did nothing wrong - maybe he is just not the kind who will pursue a relationship for fear that it may become more serious than he is willing to commit to. When we (women collectively speaking) appear to be (to the guy) more interested than he is - some guys bolt.
I would just go on with my life, have my friends and activities, and go about like he is just not in the picture - because he is not. If you two connect again, be wary and careful. You set the boundaries. And yes, you can certainly ask him what happened, that he pulled back. It does not hurt to know why. From what you said though, it does not appear it was something you did or said.
Sometimes the best medicine for self is to treat self better - like the best way to get over a guy is to focus on your own development and make yourself happy.
Good luck to you.
|
|
|
Junior Member
|
|
Sep 12, 2010, 02:16 PM
|
|
Just remember as long as he knows that your full-blown interested, and your showing that your head over heels for him, he'll take advantage of that. You know he could be thinking 'oh I know she will still be there when I feel like talking, so until then I think I'll be okay' something like that. You have to let him know your not going to stick around and be the backround of this relationship if he won't pay attention to you. That's what he wants. He wants to put you in the backround and talk to you when HE feels like it, not when YOU do. You need to lay down the law. Much luck with your situation.
CrazyChick.
|
|
|
Emotional Health Expert
|
|
Sep 12, 2010, 04:21 PM
|
|
So, you've been seeing each other for two months. You spend nearly every weekend together. He has stopped pretty much, texting, and doesn't use his home phone to contact you.
Have you ever been to his home? Met his friends? Family? Why is he not available through the week.
It almost sounds like he has a parallel life. Is this possible? Maybe he has a wife, or a significant other, or a gilfriend he sees in addition to you?
I don't know if you're necessarily not reading him right, or if maybe there is another chapter behind the foreword.
|
|
|
Uber Member
|
|
Sep 12, 2010, 05:02 PM
|
|
I don't necessarily think anything went "wrong." I think he decided that the "chemistry" just isn't there, that the sparks just aren't flying. When you say
I'm just so sick of these men disappearing because they don't have the guts to just say its not working out.
, you're giving away your power and leaving the ball in their court. You are obviously unhappy with this arrangement, and rightfully so, so you need to be the one to take the bull by the horns and decide that it's not working out. Then click your heels and walk away.
|
|
|
Junior Member
|
|
Sep 13, 2010, 04:55 PM
|
|
Thanks everyone, appreciate the advice. I realize now that I may have gave him all the power and he knew how much I liked him. He expressed the same to me so I was merely giving the energy I received. I felt things were moving smoothly.
Yes, he did introduce me to many of his close friends but not his family. They were pleasant towards me, one of his female friends even mentioned to me that he was really into me.. I felt she was being genuine. Perhaps he brought me around them to just to get their point of view? Who knows. Up until recently I wouldn't have questioned his feelings. I was confident everything was fine, I never brought up exclusivity and I was trying to maintain a balance between spending time with him and my own life just so I didn't come off too eager. I wanted to do it right with this guy. I guess that wasn't good enough. I'm not keeping my hopes up nor will I contact this guy however I would like to know do they eventually call again? IF he does I am not planning on meeting up by the way. I'll just play it cool so he won't think Im bitter about it.
|
|
Question Tools |
Search this Question |
|
|
Check out some similar questions!
I don't know how to deal with this guy
[ 1 Answers ]
So last year I was sort of friends with this one guy who I kind of liked... I think he liked me to because he would flirt with me sometimes and stare at me, I told him I liked him but he was draw between me and this other girl, at the end of the year I noticed him staring at me sometimes. His...
What is the deal with this guy?
[ 5 Answers ]
So, I like this guy. We've been talking for about 3 months, he contacted me most of the time. I am not sure if he likes me or not. He calls me almost everyday but starting about a week ago he calls me everyday. Well, now he doesn't call me at all. It has been 3 days now. Does he loose interest in...
What is the deal w/ this guy? Please Help!
[ 10 Answers ]
So, here's the story. I started seeing this guy about 9 months ago and we're both in our late 20's. Both of us had just ended long term relationships, both lasting 5-6 yrs. We knew each other from work for several mnths before we ever saw each other outside of that until we ended up talking for...
View more questions
Search
|