[michelle1967]

I am themanager of a company and my boss is the owner. I have worked with him for two years and always had an excellent relationship with him. He si currently divorcing his wife and has become a better person (I think so anyway) - more involved in the business and the people in it - although as I said, we have always been very friendly.
A couple of weeks ago we had a staff night out and I drank a liitle too much - not legless, but enough to loosen my tongue. We spent a lot of the evening together, danced together, he paid for everything for me and I ended up telling him that I found him attractive, that it was a shame for the business that we hadn't ever gotten it together and then he asked me to come away with him for the weekend (he's a had a few drinks too!). I wasn't so tiddled that I do not remember the conversation - we talked about where he was at emotionally right now and that he had to live a little before embarking on another relationship as I was no way going to be a fling or just a quick fumble. He seemed amused that I thought he would use me in that way. Then we were interrupted and conversation ceased. In the cold light of day, I thought I had been a little stupid so emailed him an apology and blamed the drink. I made a joke of it to relieve the pressure for both of us. And since then we have not discussed it - although I hear through a friend of a friend that he is chasing another woman right now. We are still very close professionally, spend lots of time alone at work and there is no discomfort between us - but did I read it all wrong? Why is it not mentioned? Was he not serious about it or was it the drink talking - although he wasn't that drunk. He is always telling me that I am an excellent manager and just two days after the evening out he gave me a huge cash bonus... I really do not know what is going on here and feel as if I have been bought off to keep quiet. A close friend feels that he is aware that I am perhaps struggling financially and as he respects me professionally then he was making sure that I was OK... I'm not in turmoil over this but do genuinely care for this chap. Any help appreciated.

[JudyKayTee]

If he is a successful professional business he has realized that entering into a relationship with an employee very well may be a very big mistake. To a certain extent, I'm sure it was the alcohol talking, too.

I may also realize that "currently divorcing" does NOT make him a single man and any involvement at this time could come back and harm his divorce case.

Would I ever get involved with someone I work with, including my employer? No - very bad idea. I have also always been very careful not to over-indulge (in alcohol) at business events.

[jmjoseph]

It's probably best if you have a professional relationship only. Since he wants to "have a good time" right now.

[bleusong52]

Look what you said to him, "it was a shame for the business that we hadn't ever gotten it together" You might call that the alcohol talking but some say more truth comes out in the alcohol than not. Your statement to him was pretty bold. You should feel good that neither one of you acted on that. Thank heavens for interrupted conversations.

I agree with Judy and JM - leave it professional, actually the more professional the better. No good can come from pursuing him or him pursing you. No good at all - just think of it this way - the guy is still married and willing to play. Chances are, if he remarried, his behavior would be much the same and woe to the woman who would think she would be "the one" for him.

I'd stay clear of the over indulgence of alcohol at any staff night out. One drink - sure. You can nurse one drink then switch to pop. Just be careful from now on. You can be concerned for him but at a safe distance.

Good luck.

[michelle1967]

Thank you to everyone who answered - it helped me to see the wood for the trees! I am an excellent manager and usually a very professional person - but I am still a woman! Which means I analyse situations, need answers and always fall for bad guys! Lets face it, I do only know him professionally but am getting little hints on how he would be personally - flirting with everyone, chasing women, selfish and probably a complete a - hole, hence the third divorce! I suppose in his own way he has made it quite clear that nothing more will happen between us but then in my book, he should stop the flirting with me! Only yesterday he said I smelt nice, whilst leaning into my neck! It really is not acceptable anymore. I suppose he thinks we are both adults here and there was no harm done so we just go back to normal or maybe he just loves the attention and relishes having a harem of women swooning over him haha.
Oh well - back to work and thank you guys.

[JudyKayTee]

Thank you to everyone who answered - it helped me to see the wood for the trees! I am an excellent manager and usually a very professional person - but I am still a woman! Which means I analyse situations, need answers and always fall for bad guys! Lets face it, I do only know him professionally but am getting little hints on how he would be personally - flirting with everyone, chasing women, selfish and probably a complete a - hole, hence the third divorce! I suppose in his own way he has made it quite clear that nothing more will happen between us but then in my book, he should stop the flirting with me! Only yesterday he said I smelt nice, whilst leaning into my neck! It really is not acceptable anymore. I suppose he thinks we are both adults here and there was no harm done so we just go back to normal or maybe he just loves the attention and relishes having a harem of women swooning over him haha.
Oh well - back to work and thank you guys.

Being a woman does not mean "we" always fall for bad guys.

You are also being sexually harassed, whether you realize it. I would take this relationship/friendship back to a professional level before he really goes overboard!

[bleusong52]

Agrees with Judy that his flirting with you, or with any woman, is a form of sexual harassment. Gets complicated, doesn't it?

Take care of yourself first and foremost. My very best to you.