[dreamday]

My sister is 13 she's gotten into some bad groups of friends and now she might be pregnant.And the guy who got her took her inocense was 17 almost 18. I feel as if she's still a baby. She's doing drugs, telling my parents off. My parents don't know what to do for her and neither do I. she's to young to be having sex and to young to be having a child to bring up. I mean I haven't even had it yet and I'm 16. What should I do about my baby sister and her getting herself into all these bad situstion? Help if you can if not hanks for trying.
Thanks lots
dreamday(candice)

[JoeCanada76]

First of all if she is pregnant or even if she is not pregnant. This person who did that to a 13 year old. The person is 17 or 18 they can be brought on charges. Statutory Rape.

Where is your mom, where is yourself when she is getting herself into all this mess? Where is the supervision? Where is the parents? These questions will be better answered and would explain a lot of the situation.

Does your mom or you know she is into drugs, how do you know? Have you been involved in anyway, and that is how you know so much about what is going on with your sister?

As far as getting councellers and doctors involved would be the very first step whenever the first sign of trouble appears.

There are several programs, government and non government that would be worth looking into.

First when did the trouble start, what do you think the cause was?

Joe

[dreamday]

Well see I had nothing to do with any of this I'm just the sister who was concerned and seeking advice so please don't jump down my throat. It all started when this girl moved down the street from us and they became friends. And it was the girls older brother who did that to my little sister. My sister won't let us press charges she clamis she loves him and he promises to be there for the baby if she is pregnant. And supervision wise he wasn't suppose to be there that night his parents had told mine he wasn't there. I know about the drugs because she's telling me about them she feels she's big and bad for taking them. She also says if we preess charges on him shell never talk to any of us again.

[JoeCanada76]

Before you get so defensive, remember you're the one asking help here, I need to fill in the blanks and the only way to do that is by asking lots of questions. You do not want the help then do not ask.

Charge the bastard anyway, I do not care if she loves him. I do not care if she threatens to never speak to you or your mother again.

Press the charges and also get her counseling and if you have to turn her in for using drugs. Then she will have explain about where she got the drugs and they will hopefully put her in a program for troubled youth in order to get her off the drugs.

If you and your mother know this is happening and do nothing about it, and actually let it happening then you and your mother are part to blame for this happening to her. So tighten your belt and do something about it.

Joe

[dreamday]

Sorry for getting so defensive its hard not to when you feel that all your plans for your sister are going down the drain. And we're not part of the blam we tried councling no help there she wouldn't talk to the councelor she just sat there. If she stops talking to me we'll have no way of knowing what's going on in her life and there's no way we can help than. He has already been charged as it is for he malested his sister along time ago.

[JoeCanada76]

The charge of him molesting his sister, would be a separate charge of him with statutory rape of a 13 year old girl. He needs to be charged with this now.

Is there a father figure at all, or is it just your mom and you?

I know it may be hard, but there needs to be family counseling together. Also one on one, for everybody.

She needs to see what might happen to her if she continues down the path of drugs and sex, and believe me there are ways for that to happen.

I am not sure of your area but since you are connected to the internet there should be lots of different programs government and non government that you or your mother would be able to get intouch with to help your sister.

I know you may feel that if you do this, that she will not open up to anybody, but what choice do you have? Let her continue down this road of construction and you and your mother knowing about it all along. Or actually doing things that right now she will fight with you and your mother with, would it be better to do everything even though it might seem forceful to get her to stop this behaviour?

Maybe not now, but years later your sister will understand that whatever programs that you try to get her into, including boot camp. Or having charged for having possession of drugs do you not think that maybe she might have a better future if the intervention is right now, even though it may be hard to do or go through with.

[dreamday]

By the way there is a father figure but he has to work wich is just about all the time. I have tried to convince my parents to send her to a juvinial detetion center but she says she wants to go and that would be just giving her what she wants right? And is that really the best thing to do. And she doesn't have the drugs with her she does them a school.

[JoeCanada76]

Juvinial detention best bet. Maybe she will get the help she needs. Maybe she knows that your mom will not do anything and is making a joke out of it. Trying to act tough, but she won't be so tough if your mother brings her there.

It is something to think about.

[crazytrain]

She is using reverse physcology on you about the detention center.
I agree with jesushelper that you need to press charges on the guy.
No matter what the consequences are. If she tries to run away or whatever she does.
When she gets picked up they will take care of her and put her in the detention center anyway.

So I say do whatever it takes. If she is pregnant and doing drugs just think of the harm she is causing the baby.

[addy]

Sue that sorry sun of a female dog! Sue him for all he's got no matter how your sister feels about it!! If you don't sue him he's just going to keep getting young girls pregnant and then.. well you need to press charges.You and your parents aren't there to be friends with her.Your there to protect her from motherfperverts like that.As for the parents of him need some advice to.I mean they are keeping him in there house even though they know he molested her! In my opinion they need to send the little siter of the sorrypervert to a foster home or to other relatives.As for the***************, he needs to be in jail, do the time for the crime.You can't deal with this sueing business in a calm way./In court you aren't supposed to be nice! I mean , if you don't take him to court and prosocute, even if he gets off bail, it will still be on his record.If you don't , he could get a job in an environment like a daycare or a school system and then he would just keep going.There are two kinds of bad people ,those who do bad things, and those who see bad things being done and don't try to stop it.You need to take your sister to a planned parenthood or a doctor that can run some test to see if she is pregnant or not, then if she isn't still prosocute,if she is prosocute and then decide whether you wan to keep the baby, adoption or abortion.You have to do these things.You can't be like the parents of the bastard and just pretend it didn't happen.You need to tell your parents, pronto.Forget about the sister secrets they need to know.Tell them everything you know then make them believe they can't just shrug this off.In the mean time, try to keep your sister away from her "friends".This gives a chance to become friends with her, find out what you need to know, then after that she might actually agree to stand before ajudge and tell them what that pervert did to her . Telling her she is forbidden to see him will just prescribe anger and rebellion.Lusten to jesus helper!!

[Abuhar]

I believe that if the girl went to the street and immediately found a bad group she might have had no love and moral support in her own family before. Now when she is in trouble, the advice I hear here is to press the girl even more, not to listen to the young suffering soul. Well, it could end up with the girl loss of all her trust and faith, that is the worst that may happen.
There can't be an easy solution to this trouble. I don't know if charges toward to the guy who caused the trouble will ever help anybody. I just try to look into the mess, which is in the poor girl's soul, and find out the way to reach her, so she would be able to listen. She will listen only when she trusts. If she doesn't trust nobody can help her and the situation may be worse, that is what I am afraid. So my advice would be: try to talk to the girl and gain her trust, speak to her about her future and all consequences. And together speak to parents as well.
It is not time to blame or looking for who is guilty. It is time to look for what is possible to do. Together discuss three possibilities as Addy wrote: having a baby, adoption or abortion. This is sad, life teaches those who couldn't get proper lessons of love and freedom at home.
By the way, I knew a case where the girl was 11-12 to become a young mother. But she and her boyfriend (18)eventually married and defended their right. But it took a huge media discussion and intervention with copes, social workers, her adoptive granmother and volunteers involved. It happened in Russia, I saw the TV program. Too big price to win.

[seniorzkickbutt06]

The best thing to do is to Love her even though she's done wrong. I was just turned 17 and I got pregnant. I was in your same position only it was for myself. I told my boyfriend and he had thought about getting rid of it which is dreadful to think of. I remembered my parents saying that if me or my sis ever got pregnant they would take the baby away from us for our own good and they would adopt it has their own. But I didn't want my baby taken away. Weeks went by and I had a miscarriage and I couldn't stop crying. I wish I had never gotten pregnant and I wish so many others wouldn't either but in reality we're screaming inside for attention and love from people who never showed it a lot and so you need to love her a lot and let her know that she didn't make good choices but that your by her side through everything because you love her and you want the best for her. Never put her down and always encourage the better things in life. My parents started loving me a lot and I had a huge turnaround and my life is great now.try it, it might not work but then again it might work... it doesn't hurt to try.

[mrssittingduck]

I agree with those 2, a sensetive subject but abuse is abuse and rape is rape, at 13 she is not capable of understanding all the implications involved or of knowing what love is,
My cousing got pregnant at 13 and it was not a nice trip to go through..

If she is pregnant what will happen to the baby this needs to be decided by your sister, social workers and your mother,

The lad needs getting into trouble and he should be removed from the house in order to help others i.e. your sister and also his sister,
It is bad enough been molested but when he lives in the same house and she has to live with it every day of her life it has got to be mentally and physically desturbing for her, reminding her of what she went through every day until she has gone..

If he can do this to his own sister he can do it to others he is not safe to have around, press charges, paternity can be proved by dna test or can have amnio centisis at around 20 weeks of pregnancy or in case of an abortion weather it be spontanious or chosen the dna can be took also , if she is not pregnant it may be harder to prove however a doctors test can reveal weather or not she has had sex...

Your sister will realise in the end that you did it out of love for her and the possible baby and any other girl that man should happen to meet in the long run, he is not safe to have around anywhere near children..

She would be best in a detention center to get her off the drugs and get her clean.. lets face it if she wants the baby it isn't going to last long or be healthy if she continues on the drugs is it?

At 13 there are a hell of a lot of complications that can arise with pregnancy including shattered hip bones if the baby is to big for the hips as they are not fully grown, there are a lot of complications regardless of age and so is magnified more at the age of 13...

Please seek help and get counciling, get the services involved and get him took to court, if not for the good of your sister then at least for the other girls out their he could come into contact with..

Katie

[Felly123]

All I can say is. Been there done that. I'm going to be straight with you. Forbiddening her to do things. Is going to make her do them. Try to find out why she's do this.. and take it from there. The reason I used to do that, was because I was madd at the world I felt as if I wasn't love wasn't wanted. I'd do anything to be loved. The way I got out of it. My older sister talked to me.. we had this long talk.. take her for a walk.. talk to her. Let her know how YOU feel. You're a teenager. She wantes to feel more grown up. Well let her know what grown up people think... if your catching my drift here.
As for the baby.
If she is pregnant. It willl probably ruin her body. And I don't believe in abortions. But she made a mistake and let her know you don't hold it against her.

[chelseas]

I don't know if she was pregnant or not in this is probably really old.. but you can't change the past if she's having a baby she's having it unless she wants to get rid of it.. all you can do now is if she keeps it make sure that dad knows and she takes care of herself from here on out.. forget the past work on the present..!

[MOWERMAN2468]

Charge the jerk. You are kind of wishy washy here. You say there is nothing, then he has been charged with molestation, then her not talking to a counselor. What is the truth here? Or is there any truth to this at all?