[JoeCanada76]

3 year old was punched in the stomach by 7 year old cousin.

The parents did not do much about it. The cousin denied it but the boy was sore and crying.

Split second of not watching the children and this 7 year old is a bully. What to do? My son seems happy and okay now. Just not sure how hard it was...

[Kitkat22]

The cousin needs his rear end warmed up. Don't worry it happens, but he'll meet his match.
He's a bully and I would be upset too.

[JoeCanada76]

To see him crying like that and asking to go home. Also I do not know how hard he was punched. Man, I know I or us can not protect him all the time and their always be some type of bully. I just wished that he did not have to experience any of that. It hurts to see that. How upset he was, etc... I think the kid (cousin) is evil myself.

[Kitkat22]

To see him crying like that and asking to go home. Also I do not know how hard he was punched. Man, I know I or us can not protect him all the time and their always be some type of bully. I just wished that he did not have to experience any of that. It hurts to see that. How upset he was, and etc... I think the kid (cousin) is evil myself.

Your little boy will be fine. The cousin will go on doing this as long as the parents allow it. As I said Bullying starts at an early age and this kid sounds like a little troublemaker.

[ala225]

You need to sit downa and discuss this with your cousin, not just for the sake of son, but the boy is showing early signs of aggression. Which could develop into some horrible thask the little boy why he hit and explain to him the consequences of his action. Good luck. God servant Ala

[Fr_Chuck]

So don't invite them over again, explain to the parents that hitting is not proper for a older child to be doing to a 3 year old.

If they don't seem to care and if they don't want to properly punish the 7 year old, then again just don't have them over.

Now in my house, I would have given he 7 year old a time out in the corner myself, if the parents had not done anything and told the parents if they did not like it, they could go home if they said anything

[JoeCanada76]

It happened at their house. The parents do not seem to know or want to discipline there children.

[Kitkat22]

It happened at their house. The parents do not seem to know or want to discipline there children.

I know they're your friends, but I wouldn't take my son around the bratty kid. If they come to your house and he starts ,tell him his actions aren't acceptable. If they can't make him mind, you do it at your house.
If they don't like it, they can leave and wait till he turns fourteen in juvie.:eek:

[DoulaLC]

It happened at their house. The parents do not seem to know or want to discipline there children.

Since the three year old can not protect himself against a seven year old, and the parents are not interested in intervening, you will have to do it yourself. Since they are family, it is likely you will visit again. I would say something to the seven year old in front of his parents about making sure he keeps his hands to himself and plays appropriately. It doesn't have to be accusatory... you could tell him that if he gets angry he needs to use his words and not his hands... that you will not accept his hitting the three year old. Then stay close by to observe how they interact. They do not go off and play in the seven year old's room for example.

Otherwise you may have to just tell the parents that you aren't comfortable having the three year old there because of this incident and you will supervise at your own home for the time being.

[J_9]

Before we go any further...

What precipitated this event?

To many 7 year olds, 3 year olds can be difficult. Now, I am in NO WAY defending the 7 year old, BUT I have had four of them at one time or another and they can be annoying to older kids.

Did little J do something to annoy the cousin?

Joe, you are just getting beyond the terrible two's (I can't believe it's been that long... time goes by so fast).

Have you talked to the parents? If not, you need to.

[JoeCanada76]

Well both cousins the 3 year old and 7 year old was watching TV in the bedroom and he just wanted to be included. He went to join him and The older one gave him a hard time. So he came out upset. Then The father told her to let him join with them to watch the movie. So he went to join them and next thing you know he comes out crying and saying he wants to go home.

This seven year old is known to be a bully and beat on the younger sister ALL THE TIME. This seven year old, I consider ----l. This person steals, lies and beats on others. Wants all the attention and has said a lot to me and others that well is not normal for that age.

This cousin is very hateful, spiteful and acts all innocent in front of the parents but is truly truly ----. The parents are clueless.

[Kitkat22]

Well both cousins the 3 year old and 7 year old was watching tv in the bedroom and he just wanted to be included. He went to join him and The older one gave him a hard time. So he came out upset. Then The father told her to let him join with them to watch the movie. So he went to join them and next thing you know he comes out crying and saying he wants to go home.

This seven year old is known to be a bully and beat on the younger sister ALL THE TIME. This seven year old, I consider evil. This person steals, lies and beats on others. Wants all the attention and has said a lot to me and others that well is not normal for that age.

This cousin is very hateful, spiteful and acts all innocent in front of the parents but is truly truly evil. The parents are clueless.

Joe if they don't get that kid under control he'll end up hurting his sister.
Hope your son is all right.

[YeloDasy]

Couple of thoughts:

If they are that clueless, it would be helpful for them to get the news from someone thaty respect... but they will get a clue from someone. I am sure the school has mentioned something by now... unless it is only at home.

If the parents are not clueless, and they know what is going on, they may pick their battles and not really understand that this is beyond normal as this might be normal for them.

I would talk to the parents out of concern for the child. Tell them why you are worried (they seem stressed, they have a lot on their plate, etc) due to their child and if need any support. That might work BETTER than just telling them you are upset. But they still might not like the topic.

Parents who have a difficult child need support and non-judgemental friends/family. They may be embarrassed and play it off in front of others but may be really struggling in private.

But I do think it would be helpful to somehow say something. Or wait until you see something next time.

[Alty]

I'm really having an issue with everyone calling a seven year old child evil. He's a child. He's only 7! :(

I know it's hard to see your child hurt, and the claws come out, big time Mother or Father bear time, but, this is a child. How can anyone say that a 7 year old child is evil, a bully, and instead of doing something to help the child learn, just hate him because he's not learning proper manners from his parents. :(

I hate to burst any bubbles, but if there's one parent on this site that has a perfect child that never acts out, that never does anything wrong, than that person should feel free to point fingers, but everyone else should realize that this is a child, and no child is perfect, they all do things they shouldn't.

I think it's time to sit back and think. You don't have to like the child. You definitely should do something to make your feelings about this known, and to tell the 7 year old that it's not okay to hit, but, let's not label a 7 year old child as evil. Please.

[JoeCanada76]

If you knew the child, you would be thinking differently. At the same time the major factor is the parenting.

[JoeCanada76]

We have said things before because there were other incidents. We were told to stay out of it, but when it has to do with my child's safety. I or my wife has every right to say something.

My buddy was truly hurt physically and by his feelings. He still does not say bad about anybody and still loves his cousins. All he says is my cousin really hurt me and his feelings.

[Alty]

If you knew the child, you would be thinking differently. At the same time the major factor is the parenting.

I doubt it Joe. He's a child. Evil is something that cannot apply to a child. He may be a brat, he may not have learned good manners, he may have issues, but evil? His issues aren't that he's evil, it's that no one cares enough to help him learn to be good.

I have met many kids that I don't want my children around, no doubt about it, and yes, it's the parenting that's the issue, the child is just a product of that parenting.

I guess we have to disagree on this.

Personally, I feel really sorry for the 7 year old. He's stuck in a situation where he's obviously not learning to be a good human being, and no one cares. :(

[Alty]

Wondergirl agrees : I have a niece who, when she was only three, we aunties said was going to end up as a sociopath with major life problems -- and she did and she has. Evil? Maybe not, but definitely mental illness. A conscience and empathy seem to be missing.

WG, I understand what you're saying, but still, this is a child. He is an aggressive child, but to call him evil isn't right. I realize you didn't, but others did, and it bothers me. It's a child!

To Joe. Has your son ever hit anyone? I'm betting he has. All kids hit at one time or another. If he hasn't yet, he will, mark my words. Just fyi, my kids have.

This child is 7, his life isn't set, and labeling him will only further what you believe he is. In other words, you're setting him up to be evil.

This child needs direction. I have a neighbor whose daughter is 2 years older than Syd. They used to play together, but this girl was constantly bullying and hurting Syd. Syd would tell me she didn't want to play with the girl anymore. I told Syd she had to decide this on her own. Eventually Syd had enough and now they're no longer friends.

They did often have fun together, but those times where few and far between. This child would come over and kill your dog and when you scold her she'll just smile at you (just a scenario, she hasn't killed any animals that I know of ;)).

Here's the thing. This child has never had stability or discipline. Her parents divorced before she was born, and she's been tossed from one home to the other, each parent trying to outdo the other. Not with love, but with stuff. Her sister (a teen) has been in juvie 4 times. She's 16 now and lives with her little sister and mother.

The mother doesn't want to discipline because every time she does, the child, who isn't stupid, says "if you punish me, I'll tell daddy and he'll let me live with him". They're playing tug of war and she's the rope. The fact is, in this game, the rope learned how to manipulate both players.

When she came to my house she got away with nothing. I made her leave a few times because she wouldn't follow my rules.

The fact is, she's a brat, but she's not evil. I could never use that term for a child! She needs to learn what's acceptable, but she's not receiving that education at home.

Yes, I'm upset about this. I just can't believe that anyone would label a 7 year old child as evil. It's just wrong. I still feel for this child because no one cares enough to help him. It's far easier to sit back and hate him. :(

[Aurora_Bell]

When I was a kid, I had four older male cousins with whom I was very close to. We not only lived close but we played with each other every day. I was the youngest, and the age gaps between each of us was two years.

They grew up rough housing, pushing, shoving, fighting and punching. Were they evil? No, they were kids and they were boys. I was once locked in a barn with 4 German Shepherds as a kid, for hours. I was terrified, and it still haunts me and I often dream about it. The cousin who did that to me, is now one of my best friends and we speak on the phone daily.

I sometimes bring up the occasion to bug him, and I can see remorse in him, and he still apologizes to me. At the time, he laughed, wouldn't say he was sorry, called me a cry baby and made fun of me in front of his friends. His actions were mean, but he did not turn into a holy terror, and is now working his way up in rank in the Military and even becoming a airplane mechanic.

When he was 17 he witnessed a car accident, and pulled 3 people out of a car before it burst into flames. He could not save the driver, and even though he received a major honorable mention by not only the mayor, but a hand shake from the Prime Minister, he is still haunted by the death of the one occupant of the car.

No I don't think violence is acceptable, and yes I think it should be addressed, but I also think that kids are going to get hurt, whether it's by the hand of another or by their own actions, they will get hurt. I also think that if a child doesn't have the right guidance and is in fact being labeled, they will in fact live up to that label given.

Again, yes I think that his parents should address this situation, and do you for a fact know it wasn't addressed after you left?

[Alty]

I care, but I am not this child parent or things would be a lot different.

e·vil (vl)
adj. e·vil·er, e·vil·est
1. Morally bad or wrong; wicked: an evil tyrant.
2. Causing ruin, injury, or pain; harmful: the evil effects of a poor diet.
3. Characterized by or indicating future misfortune; ominous: evil omens.
4. Bad or blameworthy by report; infamous: an evil reputation.
5. Characterized by anger or spite; malicious: an evil temper.
n.
1. The quality of being morally bad or wrong; wickedness.
2. That which causes harm, misfortune, or destruction: a leader's power to do both good and evil.
3. An evil force, power, or personification.
4. Something that is a cause or source of suffering, injury, or destruction: the social evils of poverty and injustice.
adv. Archaic
In an evil manner.

Let me point out the highlights.

Morally bad, wicked, tyrant, blameworthy, infamous, malicious, wickedness, source of suffering, etc. etc.

Satan was evil. A 7 year old is not. :(