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    fedup123's Avatar
    fedup123 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Sep 4, 2010, 05:14 PM
    My husband hugged another girl while walking with me
    My husband and I were out today having a good time he seen a girl that he knew from I don't know where and gave her a hug while I was walking with him he never introduced me to her as his wife when I asked who she was all he said was that she was a friend so I gotten up set at the fact that he was walking with me stopped gave her hug and just walked off he says Im a shame and need to grow up was I wrong for getting mad
    cdad's Avatar
    cdad Posts: 12,700, Reputation: 1438
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    #2

    Sep 4, 2010, 05:18 PM

    Quite frankly to me its rude what had happened. If the hug occurred as part of a greeting and then he introduced you then its in a different light. But to separate from you to hug another woman in your presence and no aknowlage you is a matter on another scale.

    You have a right to be angree.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
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    #3

    Sep 4, 2010, 06:10 PM

    How long have you been married?

    Yes, he handled it poorly. He needs to remember the manners that someone should have taught him as he was growing up.

    You can't change that encounter. However, you can sit down with your husband and discuss appropriate behavior and boundaries for future reference.
    GirlInAus's Avatar
    GirlInAus Posts: 12, Reputation: 3
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    #4

    Sep 4, 2010, 06:13 PM
    I don't think you were wrong for getting mad, if that's what you're asking. We're obviously human and our emotions affect us. Feeling wrongly done by, as you would be right now, is perfectly normal, and if your husband is brushing you aside for something that you deem to be important, then it's no wonder you're upset!

    I think you should both calm down and have an adult talk about this a little later.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
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    #5

    Sep 4, 2010, 06:20 PM

    He should have introduced you as his wife.
    To hug another woman and act like you are not even there is beyond the pail.
    Tell him it was not the hug but the total lack of acknowledgement of your presence and place in his life that is so upsetting. That was just rude.
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
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    #6

    Sep 4, 2010, 06:27 PM
    You were right there, beside him right?

    Why didn't you introduce yourself.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #7

    Sep 5, 2010, 11:34 AM

    He should have introduced you as his wife, but why didn't you introduce yourself? I would have.
    asking's Avatar
    asking Posts: 2,673, Reputation: 660
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    #8

    Sep 5, 2010, 11:45 AM

    It's incredibly rude.

    I can understand not thinking to introduce yourself. I had to learn to introduce myself in situations like this. I grew up in a family where we knew to introduce one another and when my (now ex) husband did exactly this kind of thing, I was repeatedly caught off guard. He kept doing it even after I complained.

    I learned to introduce myself but it never felt right. It's like getting up at someone else's house to get a drink from the fridge when everyone else already has a drink.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #9

    Sep 5, 2010, 01:09 PM

    Depending on type of hug, that is not really the rude part, hugs at least for me, is a normal greeting I give many old friends, both male and female.

    Not introducing you is the real issue I have with this.
    And then you not saying something and introducing yourself is the other issue. You can't be a sheep in life and need to stand up for yourself when things are happing,
    donf's Avatar
    donf Posts: 5,679, Reputation: 582
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    #10

    Sep 8, 2010, 09:31 AM

    Wow, many of you will remember my missive about the care and feeding of wives. In that I mention hugs between husband and wife.

    Hugs, at least to me, are a gift from God to be used in just about any situation with just about anyone.

    That said, I and Fr. Chuck have much in common on this subject.

    Had I greeted and hugged a woman with my Lady right next to me, I to would have made sure I introduced my Lady to the woman.

    First of all, it is the courteous thing to do. Second, I am proud to present my wife to anyone I know.

    But then, if you will also remember my missive about data being downloaded to an infant, you must also remember that if Woman did not download the data regarding courtesy to the lady's husband, its really not his fault for not knowing how to behave.

    My wife sent me to "Husband Behavior School" back in 1965. Unfortunately I keep getting sent back for additional work, I guess I'm just to bland to be educated.

    Dear lady, forgive him, move on and then let him know if he ignores you like that again, the wood plank that gets buried in his skull (metaphorically speaking) will be but a gentle reminder of what will happen again and again unless he improves his social skills.

    I apologize for his boorish behavior.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #11

    Sep 8, 2010, 09:40 AM

    ERROR: You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to donf again.

    Love your solution, as any female has to train their husbands how to do the simplest of things, and we don't always get it right the first time. (or second for that matter).
    asking's Avatar
    asking Posts: 2,673, Reputation: 660
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    #12

    Sep 8, 2010, 11:17 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by donf View Post
    ... you must also remember that if Woman did not download the data regarding courtesy to the lady's husband, its really not his fault for not knowing how to behave.
    Cute, but I'm not buying that. An adult male is responsible for knowing simple courtesy. In no way is it his wife's fault, nor is it her job to teach him what his father did not model for him when he was a kid. She certainly shouldn't have to remind him over and over not to belch at table. There are books on courtesy and etiquette that can help.

    But I agree that introductions are the courteous thing to do and not introducing someone, especially a wife, is rude.

    I'm always amazed at the number of people who will encounter someone and not make any introductions either way. Or some people will introduce one person but not the other. Also odd.

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