[mrsjuice]

I came here to ask a question that has already been posted but with the multiple answers they all seem very thoughtful but of no help for me. How do you get over the death of a boyfriend? My mind tells me to move on but my heart won't let me at all. This is hard and its hard to pretend everyday that you are OK when your not. I go on because I have to but the energy and life behind it is none. Its been only 3 months and its been the 3 longest months of my life. I can't shake it because it seems like I waited a lifetime for it to be taken away on short notice and I want it back. He was killed because of an argument and I can't seem to accept that either! What kind of world is this! Someone tell me something because the time heals method isn't working.

[Kitkat22]

Cry, scream, throw things if you feel like it. You're angry, that's the second stage of grief.

The first was shock and disbelief.
I think some of the shock will wear off.

The third is acceptance that he isn't coming back. There is no such thing as closure when you lose a loved one. You learn to live with it and soon the pain lessens

There will be days you feel the pain as much as you did when you first lost him.

If you pray and believe in God then ask him to help you get through this. He's always there.

[sarasmom61809]

My heart goes out to you. I agree with kitkat22. This is not an easy thing to get through, especially alone. Prayer is very strong and YOU WILL overcome this. You will! Hopefully you have family and friends that will stand by your side. If not, we're always here. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Try to stay positive but like kitkat22 said, "cry, scream and throw things" if needed. It doesn't bring him back, but it can get you through the moment.

[JudyKayTee]

Three months is not long enough, not at all. It's been 3 years for me and sometimes my grief is raw.

Why do bad things happen to good people? I don't know. I ask myself that question all the time.

I agree with Kit -

[jmjoseph]

Ten years after his death, I still think of my father, and how he was the most loving and patient parent that I've ever seen. I couldn't have been blessed with anyone more loving and compassionate as my father. He died suddenly, from a heart attack, while helping my mother decorate the Christmas tree. He saw me marry when I was 36, and was my best man. He did not however, get to meet my two sons. When my first was born, 13 months after his death, my mother and I cried in the delivery waiting room. It was the happiest day of mine and my wife's lives, yet there was a huge hole in my heart. My brother cried at his daughter's graduation, wishing that our father could have been there. Even today, when my boys do something that I remember my father teaching ME to do, it warms my heart. I think of him daily, and thank God for putting him into my life. I truly feel that he looks in on us, and smiles lovingly at the progress that the boys are making.

No, time doesn't HEAL the pain, but it does help you COPE. It's all about coping, and moving forward.

Remember him fondly, and think about how he would want you to carry on. If he were here today, to wipe away your tears, what would he say to you? You know that he wouldn't want you to be sad, or depressed.

Counseling does wonders for grief.

God bless you at this time of loss.

[Fr_Chuck]

I have had the honor and the sorrow to bury two past wives.
One was shot to death and the other died of cancer. There is no one right way, there is no one size fits all, We all grieve and show our loss differently. And even though I have remarried again, I still think fondly of both of them today.

I can say to share the pain, as in posts here but also local support groups can be great.

3 months is not even time to get over any loss like that.
It comes again when you clear out the closet of their clothes finally. Or when you go back to a favorite eating place. Or hear a special song.

Only time helps turn the pain and grief to loving memories.