[Newfie_beauty]

OK so I've been with this guy for 7 months, almost 8. I think I'm truly in love well I thought I was anyway. Hes 34 and I'm 19. WE met through the internet and so far was so good, he has a 12 year old daughter and I'm currently living with him and his parents they are from germany but now reside in canada. We already had issues from the start with him chatting to another woman for 2 years before he met me online, he says they were just friends and that he didn't know if she exist. We ended up finding out she wasn't real and she admitted the pictures weren't her. In the first 2 months I still stayed around thinking they were only chatting buddies before we found out the truth she was a liar and said she danced and by the pictures she looked amazing. Anyway I saw he's messenger left up one night while he was sleeping and it was just that day that they were chatting while I was home before I moved in and he was saying how much he was in love and needed her and how she could stay here and go to college and he saw them as a couple and that she would be perfect. Since he does like dark headed other race women! I am a red head and irish so I'm not near what he's sexual wants. Anyway I caught him and he denied the whole thing saying "oh we are just friends i just wanted to see what she would say" and then I said well maybe we should break up and he said well who said we are a couple and being the nieve young one I sucked it up and I am still here. Then just a few weeks later after he found out this chick wasn't real he said OH would you be my girl friend?? not even 20 minutes after he found out he told me and then asked me to be his girlfriend. Anyway I've been insecure every since and I've felt so used but yet I think I'm in love and sometimes he makes me feel so good. I am the only one from my family here in TORONTO I moved here alone a year ago from Newfoundland/Canada. Anyway I do not trust this man that I think I love and lately I can't do anything now, after weeks later I thought this would work a lot better since this girl was out of the picture but I think its worst. We can't talk about anything because he doesn't want to understand or he says oh you just think weird. Also he had sex with a man and that man still calls. Sometimes I think he's bi sexual and lying he says he was just experimenting to see if that's what he wanted. Anyway I'm really really stuck and I think I love him but yet he makes me feel so bad about me and my life. Am I to insecure? Is it me really making him miserable? I keep saying I'm trying really hard since I'm 19 and he's 34 with a kid and still at home in debt trying to pay off bills. I feel he's keeping me behind or trying to trap me. He always makes me feel so bad when we argue and lately I don't leave the place because I have anxiety. Should I go home and forget about this freak or stick around and give him a chance?? He always says he doesn't have any problems and I know he does but I need other peoples advice for this one, it seems I always feel guilty and I'm the one to always take the blame. Im so emotionally and argue and mentally drained!
PLEASE HELP

[hottie410]

ok so ive been with this guy for 7 months, almost 8. I think im truly in love well i thought i was anyways. Hes 34 and im 19. WE met through the internet and so far was so good, he has a 12 year old daughter and im currently living with him and his parents they are from germany but now reside in canada. we already had issues from the start with him chatting to another woman for 2 years before he met me online, he says they were just friends and that he didnt know if she exist. We ended up finding out she wasnt real and she admitted the pictures werent her. In the first 2 months i still stayed around thinking they were only chatting buddies before we found out the truth she was a liar and said she danced and by the pictures she looked amazing. Anyways i saw hes messenger left up one night while he was sleeping and it was just that day that they were chatting while i was home before i moved in and he was saying how much he was in love and needed her and how she could stay here and go to college and he saw them as a couple and that she would be perfect. Since he does like dark headed other race women! I am a red head and irish so im not near what hes sexual wants. Anyways i caught him and he denied the whole thing saying "oh we are just friends i just wanted to see what she would say" and then i said well maybe we should break up and he said well who said we are a couple and being the nieve young one i sucked it up and i am still here. Then just a few weeks later after he found out this chick wasnt real he said OH would you be my girl friend???not even 20 minutes after he found out he told me and then asked me to be his girlfriend. Anyways ive been insecure every since and ive felt so used but yet i think im in love and sometimes he makes me feel so good. I am the only one from my family here in TORONTO i moved here alone a year ago from Newfoundland/Canada. Anyways i do not trust this man that i think i love and lately i can't do anything now, after weeks later i thought this would work alot better since this girl was out of the picture but i think its worst. We can't talk about anything because he doesnt want to understand or he says oh you just think wierd. Also he had sex with a man and that man still calls. Sometimes i think hes bi sexual and lying he says he was just experimenting to see if thats what he wanted. Anyways im really really stuck and i think i love him but yet he makes me feel so bad about me and my life. Am i to insecure? Is it me really making him miserable? I keep saying im trying really hard since im 19 and hes 34 with a kid and still at home in debt trying to pay off bills. I feel hes keeping me behind or trying to trap me. He always makes me feel so bad when we argue and lately i dont leave the place because i have anxiety. Should i go home and forget about this freak or stick around and give him a chance???? He always says he doesnt have any problems and i know he does but i need other peoples advice for this one, it seems i always feel guilty and im the one to always take the blame. Im so emotionally and argue and mentally drained!
PLEASE HELP

Well girl you should stop talking to him because he can be a kidnapper and you could be on the news about a guy having computer sex over the internet.

[hottie410]

well girl you should stop talking to him because he can be a kidnapper and you could be on the news about a guy having computer sex over the internet.

:(

[Tallarin]

Dearest...
Run, run, run... you are 19... and you deserve to be with someone who treats you right...

[Makiavelic76]

There's too much here Hottie, with good intentions you won't be able to make this person treat you right. You're confused about this man sexuallity, he treats you sometimes misserable, there's no trust, there's a girl (a fake one at least), there's a man around.
Meaning: dark cloud over your pretty head.

Consider if those feelings u have for him are long lasting. Or the reasons for those feelings are based on a real care from him or they all just for you to keep you "there" for his needs.

I know it wouldn't be so easy (emotionally and financially) but yes!! You deserve much much soooooo much better.

You're beautiful from inside out. Protect that, embrace that and believe that for yourself not from what others might say.

Take courage ;)

[ordinaryguy]

The guy is a user, a cheater, a liar, a control freak, and you think you love him? I'm sorry, it may be emotional dependency, but it's not love. Get out now, before it gets worse, because it certainly will if you stay. Get some counselling to help you understand why you even got involved with a guy like this. If you can get away from this guy without major damage, consider it a cheap lesson, learn it well and don't repeat the mistake.

[JoeCanada76]

Hello Newfie Beauty,

I probably ended up running into you from time to time. Toronto is a familiar place, but with toronto being such a multiculture city. It is full of really good people, but it also have some crazies as well. I understand that many people from the east coast come here to try to make a better life for themselves. I can tell you though that the lifestyle of Ontario, especially toronto can have the opposite effect on your soul. Yes, money might be more plenty, and jobs more plenty but the more things you think you might have actually drag you down and eventually cost you a lot more. This guy from germany. Not to say anything too much but I know a couple of people from germany. From my experience from the people I know they can be very strict, domineering and the one I know had a canadian wife but at the same time he brought this chinese lady in the country and actually seen this guy at the restaurant and he was making the lady do everything for him, almost like a slave. My advice to you is if all your family is still in Newfoundland. You have no family here. I think the best advice is to go back home. Do not leave any traces. This guy sounds like he is very strange, not in a good way, but in a very very bad way. I hope you understand there are so many things wrong with this situation that you are in and I hope you decide that the best thing for you is to get away from it.

Best of luck to you.

Joe

[manimuth]

Newfie,
Do you have a stable job that will allow you to move out on your own? This guy is draining you at a time in your life when you have the whole world in your hands. Leave him and start living. You are young and have so much ahead of you. This guy sounds like a loser and you are too young to deal with a man with a 12 year old daughter. Love is a strong feeling and often clouds our instincts and judgments. Try to see through the cloud and see this guy for what he is. Your life is too precious to waste. Good luck.

[talaniman]

Newfie, You are way out of your league here and in danger of being used big time. Just from what you have written, you should be running for the hills away from this nut. If a friend read this to you, wouldn't you tell her to get the heck away from this maniac?