[DebTxGirl]

My husband controls the money, bills and everything about finances. The only time he pays for anything is hen I let him go with me and control what we buy. I'm afraid he's planning to leave me and try to take it all. I just want to make sure I have enough money to move myself out and pay a month's rent, then I'll make it without him.

My name is on the account, and I do have credit/debit card, but he told me to use it only for buying something that we agree on, and to bring him the receipts. He gets the statements online, so he knows everything that's bought.

Can I use it to make a purchase and get $10 or $20 cash back? My friend said I definitely can, but how will this show up on the bank statement? Do debits show up different than credit purchases? If so, he'll ask me why I made a debit. I won't have a good answer because everyone takes credit nowadays.

[ChihuahuaMomma]

At my bank you can tell on a bank statement how much is spent on any purchase made with the card (including cash back). That money is still coming out of the account, so it will show in the balance. If you feel that he is about to leave you and take all the money, start talking to lawyers and get a job so that you can stand on your own two feet if/when it does happen.

[aimee_tt]

Get your own bank account and tell your work to pay into another account. Don't add him onto the account. The you will have your own money and can your share or everything and he can't touch the rest.

[DebTxGirl]

Maybe I didn't make myself clear enough. My question is if I buy something with the debit card and also get some cash back, will it show on the statement as just part of the purchase, or will it somehow show that it was cash back?

[ChihuahuaMomma]

DEBTXGIRL---I answered the question that you asked. It will show that you made a purchase of $35.00 if you made a $15 purchase and got $20 cash back.

Please read all answers before getting snappy with members. Thanks.

[ScottGem]

When you post something on a Q&A board like this, you open yourself up for comments from anyone. Chihuahua did answer your question. The total amount of the debit will show up. The receipt will also show the cash back. So if he looks at the receipt or the statement he will see the total amount. Whether the statement will show a cash back transaction depends on your bank so we can't answer completely.

But aimee also gave you good advice. You don't need to be in such a controlling relationship. You need to start thinking of different ways to get out.

[DebTxGirl]

Thank you for clearing that up. I didn't mean to be snippy or otherwise rude at all. I just wanted to be sure there is nothing to indicate I took an extra $20. This is one way I will get money to get out of this, along with selling a few things on EBay and whatever else I can came up with that isn't traceable.

Thanks everyone!

[DebTxGirl]

I did receive an answer that gave me some information, but not complete. Then the person answered again with more Specific information, which was just what I wanted to know. So thanks, in the long run this did help.

[ScottGem]

I'm not sure if you followed us. If you go to a store and buy $15 worth of groceries and get $20 cash back, the transaction will register as $35. Whether it will be itemized that you got the $20 depends on the bank. If he requires you to turn in all your receipts, the receipt will almost definitely show the $20 cash back. So he is going to know!

[ChihuahuaMomma]

There are plenty of other ways to get out of an abusive relationship than taking money and hiding it. This could anger him further and make him lash out. I'm sure there's a battered woman's shelter in your area, or any type of shelter. Do you have family nearby? Or that would help you out financially? Friends?

Take it from someone that has been in an abusive relationship, get out as fast as you can, cause you don't know what his breaking point is and when it will be. Take what you can, that's important and JET...

[Fr_Chuck]

You need to do a lot of other things other than get cash, if you want cash, just go to the bank and get it. Sorry at some point you either have to stand up for yourself, or move out now, just take the money in the bank with you when you move