[lifeistough75]

Most the participants in this forum are men who have been dumped? The trend is surprisingly the same, the dumpee is shocked, they believe the relationship was great with some minor issues, and never saw the break up coming. Everybody also feels their relationship was "special".
I am wondering why I don't see a balance participation between the two genders here? I see mostly men asking for advice. I have read that most of the break ups are initiated by women, I wonder if that is true, and the reason why we don't see more women here?

[fireguy40]

Is it because women will talk to friends and men can't so it feels safer to seek advice from strangers who can't judge ? Just a thought,

[redhed35]

Sometimes it can seem like that,but you might find a balance when you look at other threads,example,marriage,personal growth,mental and emotional health...

People post in all these forums including the relationship forum about their breakups.

There would be a few in the legal threads also.

It does balance out,men and women a like have their hearts broken and need advice and/or help to move forward.

[I wish]

You may be right about men rather talking to strangers to get neutral advice. It's obvious that when we ask for advice from friends and family, we're going to get a biased opinion from them. So it's logical to want to seek objective advice from a complete stranger who's willing to help.

I would say there's actually a good balance. You've only been a member for 1 month, so I'm not sure how many of the older posts you've read. There are 17,000+ questions in the relationship section. I haven't even read them all, but since I've joined, I felt that there is a strong balance.

If anything, I would say that it's mostly women sticking around (after they received help with their problem) the relationship section giving advice to others. I find that most men disappear after their question has been answered.

[88sunflower]

I don't think its dominated by one sex or the other. I think its just that persons choice on how to go about talking and seeking advice or help. Women are more likely to discuss these type things with friends. Or possibly even both. I can't imagine a man crying tears on his buddy watching the game having a beer. I think it could be easier for men to come to a site like this. But as red said I do think if you looked around it might balance out at one point or another.

[88sunflower]

Good points Iwish. Strangers don't know either side to judge. They listen and can give help and advice from what they hear. I found personally going to friends was useless. I realized they only said what I wanted to hear. My mood that day easily swayed the opinions of those listening. That's why I came here.

[kctiger]

The stranger/neutral party point is very valid. It is hopefully the objectivity, blended with the diverse and dynamic experience of all on here which make the advice and this website so popular with those in need of help. I too find a good mix of genders and situations. I don't think there is a blatant dominance of men over women, although there probably are more "been dumped" threads than the other way around. Very well said IWish. It is much easier to give advice when you aren't emotionally invested in the situation.

[pandead]

I found about AMHD when I was so desperate that I google'd "he dumped me"... As simple as that. I'm assuming a lot of people found themselves here the same way.

Then I kept coming back every time I felt the urge to break NC, sometimes to read stickies, other days to answer other people's questions because it also makes you discover things about yourself. Most of my friends were tired of listening to me cry about the same guy I guess, they just kept saying "maybe you'll get him back"... I didn't realize how wrong they were until some people here *wink wink Tal and kp* gave me the slap (punch?) in the face I needed at some point - and everything changed since then.

Indeed not many people come here to say "I just dumped my boyfriend/girlfriend and I'm in shock" and as for the "special" part, who would seek strangers' advice about a relationship if they don't think it's worth the trouble anyway?

There is a balance between men/women. But there's a better one between the "helpers" and the ones in need - who try to help others when they feel ready. (Yes, if I get an award one day, it's where I'll start crying and say "thank you guys") :p

[Outoftime44]

I think it's biological, girls lose the attraction / desire and move on easier. While guys, once they build up the emotional connection (which is harder) can't get rid of it.

Guys can have kids a lot longer in life, while girls have a shorter biological clock for kids.

[positiveparent]

I would think a lot of it where men are concerned is;

1. when they meet with their friends women/girls is less likely to be top of their conversations, list, sport I think rates higher, whereas with females boys/males rate higher on their topic of conversations lists.

2. since the encouraging of men to get in touch with their feelings first came about its given the males more opportunity to express their fears and worries more openly, So what better than to come to a site like this and spill all in the security of knowing the likelihood of their friends finding out is minimal. Also that they won't be ridiculed or told to stand up and take it like a man which would have been the way say 2 decades ago, perhaps even less.

However I think if the other forums on the site, that also get similar posts were to be included say in the count, I feel it would more or less pan out to be equal in male and females having relationship problems or questions.

I would also think for males to be able to use forums like these in the knowledge that they're not going to be made to feel bad because they're expressing hurt and heartbreak, would also be a contributing factor.

20 years ago you males had to grin and bear it, perish the thought that one of them should be feeling pain or heartache, they would have been told to stop being such a baby, take it like a Man.

Us girlies have always been able to voice our heart aches and lovesick, woes with each other or on sites/ magazines it was once like this one...

[talaniman]

People, male and female come here broken, and want to be fixed. Plus they are anonymous.

[lifeistough75]

Thank you all for all your responses. Obviously, it was an observation I made, not based on statistics or hard data. I just see so many more men here than women. I thought that was interesting, but I guess I need to look into other categories and see a broader picture.