[sharjeezq]

I've an issue, a big issue. I got married when I was 23 (no one should ever do that) and within six months she moved out one night when I was visiting my friend’s house for poker night. A month after that we started to talk again (after me begging via e-mail) and tried to work things out for over two years where she promised to move back with me a numerous times but her family didn't approve of me, and how I'll never change, etc. As a side note I never cheated on her. One day I got served with divorce papers & when I tried to contact her she simply texted me saying that she wants it over. It has been over two years since then (divorced three months after that) neither of us have contacted each other but I can't stop thinking about her and always wonder what if. I have dated a few girls since then and all I look for is her in them. I always think about if she thinks about me and what if she wants me, and should I try to contact her. I want to move pass this dilemma that because she have hurt me enough from the time she moved until now but the other side of me doesn’t want me to move on. How can I stop thinking about her? How can I enjoy doing things and not think about her? Even when I have sex with other girls, I think about her. I either want this feeling to go away or maybe I should act upon it. I’m very desperate and need some serious help. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks in advance.

[martinizing2]

I understand how you feel.
I been there.

Don't waste anymore time with the false hope of reuniting. Isn't going to happen.
Too much has happened to ever be able to work through should it happen. It would only make it harder and delay the healing.

You should consider some professional counseling.
It helped me in a big big way.

It can change your perspective or at least show you another perspective that can help you out of the hell you are in, and created for yourself.

Relationships are always painful when the pieces begin to fall away. And it is hard to admit that it is crumbled with no hope.
But I feel this is where you are and you need help to start to get out of where you are.

You really can't deal with false hope and dreams. They're not real.

As I said , it was the new perspective offered by a professional that turned it to reality. Which can be dealt with.

Please try this, you have nothing to lose by trying it.

[sharjeezq]

I can't agree with you more but it's just that life seems so empty without her. I never got a closure with her and I always fear that if I approach her with a closure, it would hurt me more and I'll look like a loser and will go back to step one. I should really look for some professional help.

[martinizing2]

I can't agree with you more but it's just that life seems so empty without her. I never got a closure with her and I always fear that if I approach her with a closure, it would hurt me more and I'll look like a loser and will go back to step one. i should really look for some professional help.

You are correct.

Please do it.

Keep us informed. I wish you well

[positiveparent]

Hi OP I think yuou need to go get yourself some counselling, to help you with this you're obssessing over something that died and ended a long time ago, and by rights you should be way past this by now.