[tingkong]

I've been broken up from my ex girlfriend who is a single mother for 2 months now, we've had very little communication. I've been told that the reason for the split is that when we got into an argument I questioned why she went out two nights in a row and who was taking care of her kid when she was hungover. (Huge mistake because I said it angrily.) I've apologized sincerely because I know she's a good mom, its one of the reasons I'm with her and I was just angry that she didn't tell me she wanted to have a girls weekend.

She says she can't forgive me for what I said and wants nothing to do with me. I love her but I don't want to bother her. Some days I hold on to false hope that she'll realize that I'm just a human and I make mistakes and other days I think its best to move on. She knows my feelings because I acted like a goon after we broke up and text her on average twice a week. I just would like advice on moving on because I'm stuck in a rut of hoping for her to come back and grieving for losing her.

[Shadowburn]

I'd say it's better for your to move on. If in 2 months she hasn't shown any interest in reconciliation, then your hope is truly a false one. I also want to say that your concerns about her going out two nights in a raw and her child not being taken care of properly were totally legitimate too. And after all, we all at times say things that we shouldn't, so her breaking up with you because of one angry comment doesn't really make sense.

There are great stickies on top of the front page of the forum, there are invaluable advice of how to survive a break up and to move on. You have to stay busy, rebuild your own life and stay away from contacting her in any form (yes, looking up her FB is a contact too).

Time will take care of the rest. Good luck.

[tingkong]

Thanks for the answer, I've been doing the busy thing so that I wouldn't beg for her back. She's broken up with me twice in the past from lesser disagreements and came back after a week or so. I have her blocked from fb so I can focus on my stuff and not worry about seeing what she's doing. Is it right that I think it's a mistake?

[vanheart]

Don't waste anymore time on her, or worry about her agenda.

Let the next dude do that.

[Ash123]

Buddy,

Listen to what people are saying.
It will NEVER work.
It CANNOT work.
She can't MAKE it work.

Don't let her problems become yours.
Move the heck on... trust me. I've seen this before. Save yourself and start something new...

[vanheart]

"Don't let her problems become yours."

True.

She's not your problem anymore.

[tingkong]

Thanks guys, I'm starting to believe that more every day but I'm not out of the forest yet. The information here is pretty valuable. I appreciate it.

[vanheart]

Getting out of the forest means seeing the light. Completely. The open road.

That's total no contact. No matter what.

Don't let her suck you back in again for a booty call or a guilt trip. Or confuse weakness or loneliness for love.

You need better. Cool out for a while.

Enjoy other things, Im sure all of this BS drama isn't what you want is it?

Feels like crap.

Don't have anything to do with her, or or kid.

[positiveparent]

Telling this woman she was a bad mother is one of the seven deadly sins, you don't say that to any woman/mother unless you mean, it. Its almost as bad as cheating.

You might as well move on and forget her, I doubt shell have you back.

Go No Contact, its your only hope.

[tingkong]

I didn't tell her she was a bad mother, I stick by what I said. I can't change her interpretation of it but apologized for saying it in an angry way. The kids dad wants to do anything he can to hurt the mom and he was abusive. He's called the police on her several times and they even took the kid away once because she had a 13 year old babysitting.

[talaniman]

Yeah we all make mistakes, and we learn from them. I think that breaking up so many times in a few months though was a bit much. Maybe its better this way.

No communications=No relationship. But too much, to fast is just as bad.

[vanheart]

Sounds like she comes with way too much drama attached.

[tingkong]

She knows that's one of her issues and after a few months into the relationship she asked me to help her work on it because she didn't like the instability and at that point I was attached to her so I wanted to stand by her and help her.

[tingkong]

The hard part that I'm dealing with is that I get over confident in myself and think wow she's missing out on me I'm like greatest thing since delivery pizza and then I under value myself and I feel like I just ate a whole delivered pizza. Thanks for your honesty guys

[positiveparent]

OP I am wondering if you've maybe hit a raw nerve, you say she's had the child taken from her once and also had a 13yr old baby sitter, therefore you saying what you did albeit in anger has touched on something she feels herself, and its compounded it hearing it from her b/f.

However the relationship doesn't sound very healthy regardless of this, I feel you should maybe go NC and get this girl out of your system.

Hard as that may appear right now it will get easier as time passes, plus being in a relationship fraught with arguments wouldn't be good for the child either.

I hope this helps and I know you're hurting, but in time it will ease and you will go on to love again. Good Luck pp

[tingkong]

I'm going to give it my best and I'll post on the forums before thinking about doing any texting or emailing and if she happens to call I'll just be very gentle and kind.


Thanks