[spinelord]

I am a 44 year old disabled but moderately financially secure man in Florida, always wanted children, who briefly dated a 38 year old débutante party girl with an active social life who never wanted kids and lived off her parents money. I had sex once with this woman and she became pregnant. Though not sure I was the father, I initially gave her $1000 and even asked her to marry me. When we argued, the dates etc didn't add up and she began excluding me from everything to do with the pregnancy, I requested DNA before giving her any more money. She said by asking for DNA I was calling her a liar and a whore, wrote many nasty emails and a blog where she states I will be a "sperm donor" and "absent father" among other things even though I repeatedly wrote that all I wanted was DNA confirmation and I would be fully involved financially and every other way, and mostly excluded me from the pregnancy (allowed to go to one doctor visit during a brief truce). She named the baby without consulting me, even posting a "Name the Alien" (she referred to the baby as an alien invader) Facebook page for her friends to suggest names.

She cut off communication with me and decided to leave the state at 6 months pregnant and return to her parents in GA and around that time I filed a paternity suit asking for DNA and rights to the child. I was denied being present at the birth. She had a rough final 2 months, being induced 3 weeks early and nearly dying post-partum (baby is OK thank G-d). I eventually got my DNA test but ultimately a Florida judge ruled that jurisdiction would be in Georgia since the baby was born there.

I have been paying her significant support since the DNA test, even sending her all the items on her baby registry which remained unpurchased. She has granted me limited (2 hour) visits with my new daughter a couple of times since the baby was born (now approaching 3 months old) but continues to be quite nasty about the whole thing, attempting to extort repayment of all her legal and medical fees in order to "mend fences" with her parents, playing games with visitation, refusing to supplement the baby's diet thereby making her fully dependent on breast milk and blocking me from any significant visitation other than at her whim.


I have little money left for a Georgia court fight after my failed attempt in Florida, am fearful of her wealthy and powerful family in this "good old boy network" state, and basically only want the child to have my last name and to have frequent visitation with my daughter. It will be a while before I can move to Georgia due to financial issues and fully expect her to leave the state if I do move there if only to spite me.


HELP!!

[stevetcg]

Im not sure what help you seek. GA has jurisdiction and anything you seek has to occur there. As of right now, regardless of the DNA test, you have no legal rights.

Your visitation might currently be at her whim but by rights, that's hers to decide until you get a visitation order from GA. Once you secure your rights to visitation or even pending a hearing for such, she cannot leave to state to avoid visitation. If she does so, she can be ordered to return or face jail for contempt.

As for the child's name... unless both of you agree to it, there is no reasonable chance that it gets changed. It was her decision (and would have been even if you were married and present) to name the child anything she chose. A court is not going to force the change barring significant legal reason, there in the 21st century, there is none.

[GV70]

I eventually got my DNA test but ultimately a Florida judge ruled that jurisdiction would be in Georgia since the baby was born there.

Correct.
In most states, when a child is born to an unmarried mother, if there is no adjudication or registration of paternity, the mother has custody. Even after paternity has been adjudicated or registered, as long as there is no court order on custody, many states presume that the mother has custody of the child.
You have to file for parental rights as legal custody and visitation in Georgia.

She has granted me limited (2 hour) visits with my new daughter a couple of times since the baby was born (now approaching 3 months old) but continues to be quite nasty about the whole thing, attempting to extort repayment of all her legal and medical fees in order to "mend fences" with her parents, playing games with visitation...

I agree with steve-"Your visitation might currently be at her whim but by rights, thats hers to decide until you get a visitation order from GA"
Do not forget there are provisions in many states for repayment of pregnancy and birth costs.