[Kitkat22]

I would love to be able to do something.

I think everybody would.

[Alty]

Well, I did contact her cousin, Askthekitty (askthecat?) and said that we would like to do something but apparently the cousin is out of Town. We'll wait for her to come back and let us know the name of the charity. Anyone who wants to send "something" then can do that.

Or the death notice would contain the info. Maybe I'll contact some of my sources and ask.

I know several people are interested in doing ... something.

Please let us all know Judy. This site is an amazing site and I know that everyone would like to be able to send something, if only just a card to express our sympathy.

I kept all the cards sent to me when my parents died. Even now, 9 years later, it brings me comfort to read them, to see how many people cared about them, and about me.

[Kitkat22]

Please let us all know Judy. This site is an amazing site and I know that everyone would like to be able to send something, if only just a card to express our sympathy.

I kept all the cards sent to me when my parents died. Even now, 9 years later, it brings me comfort to read them, to see how many people cared about them, and about me.

I agree Alty.. I think Marianne it would help you to know how we feel. I still grieve for my Dad. I cannot imagine and I mean this how horrible it would be if something happened to my husband.

[ScottGem]

Just noticed this thread. When my father died. He suffered a stroke and the doctors didn't know whether he would survive or not. It took three days before he died. I've always thought that worked out for the best. We had three days to become accustomed to the idea that he might not come back which seemed to make it easier to cope for us.

As everyone has stated we all grieve in different ways. I think I would probably deal with it more like you have. If I didn't have this online family to talk with if I didn't have people who needed help I could offer to occupy my mind, it would probably be much harder for me.

I do have an issue with going on holiday so soon. There is a danger that your children, especially the younger one, will associate death with a holiday. I just offer that perspective to consider as you will know your children better than I could.

[JudyKayTee]

I am going to simply say it and brace myself. I am troubled by this thread in many ways, not the least of which is on Positiveparents' site, the prayer card to Jesus Christ and the lengthy post mentioning God repeatedly, despite being Jewish.

It's one way or the other - either it's Jesus Christ and God or it's G_d.

As I said, I'm bracing myself but I have some serious questions on many levels. I hope I am wrong because I was widowed, it's more than a terrible thing, my life will never be the same and I don't want to doubt someone who is going through the same thing.

At any rate - here is the prayer card: https://sites.google.com/site/posparent/andrewRIP

If this is a scam or a lie or we are being taken, if one person is posting in more than one name, then shame on that person. If I am heartless and unsympathetic, then shame on me.

As I said, I've been there. I know very possibly better than anyone else what it is like to lose your life partner. I know everyone has experienced loss. To lose a partner is devastating beyond belief.

[Kitkat22]

I am going to simply say it and brace myself. I am troubled by this thread in many ways, not the least of which is on Positiveparents' site, the prayer card to Jesus Christ and the lengthy post mentioning God repeatedly, despite being Jewish.

It's one way or the other - either it's Jesus Christ and God or it's G_d.

As I said, I'm bracing myself but I have some serious questions on many levels. I hope I am wrong because I was widowed, it's more than a terrible thing, my life will never be the same and I don't want to doubt someone who is going through the same thing.

At any rate - here is the prayer card: https://sites.google.com/site/posparent/andrewRIP

If this is a scam or a lie or we are being taken, if one person is posting in more than one name, then shame on that person. If I am heartless and unsympathetic, then shame on me.

As I said, I've been there. I know very possibly better than anyone else what it is like to lose your life partner. I know everyone has experienced loss. To lose a partner is devistating beyond belief.

You can talk to us if you want too. I feel sad for you , but there are some things I would like to know. Losing a child would be the worst thing that could happen to a parent and I'm sorry for the loss. I think the reason we have questions is we want to help or donate and you haven't let us know where we can do that. I think if there is something you need to talk about, Scott Gem would be willing to listen. You could even give him the name of a Charity and your husbands name. Just a thought. As he said people handle grief differently. I hope I'm wrong about how I feel. I really do.
There are so many inconsistencies in your story. What are we to believe?

[positiveparent]

OK Ill answer your questions although in truth I dont have to if I dont want to, however as I have nothing to hide I will.

1. The date, I wasnt sure at first if my S/O had died on 3rd or 4th because he died in the early hours, although I now know it was the 4th. I was confused and in shock, quite a natural phenomena Im told.

2. His name, yes He was named officially as Andre Stefan, which in English equates to Andrew Stephen. he was known as both or either. However mostly he was known as Andrew.

3. God, Being Jewish doesnt mean you dont accept God it means you havent recognised Christ as the messiah, My Husband did believe in God he also recognised Jesus, he was not an orthodox jew, and his parents like we too, only brought him up in the Jewish faith until his Bar Mitzvah, at age 13, our own Son Adrian, has just had his own Bar Mitzvah, and from hereon in he is free to choose his own way in life and his own beliefs if any. The religious card was given to us when Andrew Jnr died and so it was added to that page. Like I have mentioned we didnt disbelieve in Jesus. I am not Jewish in any way. If anything both my husband and I were more inclined to believe in the Tantra Spiritual Aspect of religion, if any religious leaning.

His funeral was conducted in the way it was because his official religion was down as being Jewish.

I apologise if Im not handling this in a way you are expecting me to, also for being slightly confused at first. I wasnt given an instruction manual so Im muddling through the best way I know how right now. Ill try to get it right though if only to suit those here. Also taking my Sons away on holiday will not have them associating Death with going on holiday, they are fully aware of whats going on. Too much so if anything.

I hope this satisfies your curiosity and answers your questions in a suitable manner.

Regards Marianne aka pp.

[Aurora_Bell]

You are right PP, you don't have to explain anything. But the people here have been fooled once too many times. It's not that we doubt you, but some of the stories that have been told are heart wrenching. Thank you for answering the questions. Sorry to be so jaded, but if you stick around I am sure you will understand why sometimes, you can't take things at face value.

[Aurora_Bell]

Is there a charity or a church we can make a donation to? I know a lot of us would like to do something for your loss.

[Kitkat22]

You are right PP, you don't have to explain anything. But the people here have been fooled once too many times. It's not that we doubt you, but some of the stories that have been told are heart wrenching. Thank you for answering the questions. Sorry to be so jaded, but if you stick around I am sure you will understand why sometimes, you can't take things at face value.

I agree with bella .marianne. I haven't been here a year yet. I don't understand why we can't help you. Make a donation to the British Heart Association, as you did. I know when my Dad died we asked his friends to donate too his church or to the VFW. You were my friend and I just can't understand this at all. Everybody's different, but I wish you well. How old is your oldest son and is he helping you?

[positiveparent]

As for doing something, you all were, you were here, and that was more than enough in my mind, its also the thought that counts, none of you knew my husband, however I was appreciative of your kind words and thoughts.

My Cousin is out of town on holiday right now, shell be back at the end of the week I believe.

Forgive me for speaking my mind, Im now reluctant to give out any information, especially with my integrity being cast under suspicion.

My Husband is gone, Ive already told Scottgem that give me time to sort things out and Ill send him something to confirm what has happened, and he was quite OK with that, and I shall do as Ive said in time, or as soon as I am able to do so.

I am however reluctant to give out my families information to just anyone, Plus I do not go around making up stories, I get adequate attention Thank You, too much if I am honset.

So I now hope youll stop trying to find flaws in what Ive said about all of this, and let my Husband rest in peace, and for me to deal with all of this in my own way, I thank you for your support and condolences.

However if youre trying to discredit me in this, then expect me to retalliate in a like manner, because I wont sit by and have my family or myself disrespected, or put any risk to our privacy or safety.

Reading these posts here has upset me even more, Thanks...

If you dont believe me then dont, thats your choice, but I personally would rather not read about that on these boards, you can PM me if you want to cast aspersions.

Youre all heart I must say...

[positiveparent]

This puts me in the mind of a pack of wolves ripping their prey to shreds. Thanks.

I hope others who come here see this then theyll know exactly whats what and what to expect. Youve no right to sit in judgement over me or anyone else.

[Aurora_Bell]

I understand your defensiveness PP, and maybe we were out of place, if this is true I apologize, but please, understand, after some of the things the people here have been through, it's not easy to believe, especially when there are so many inconsistencies. You don't have to prove anything to us, and you're right, at first glance it would seem we were wolves, but when things don't add up, it's hard to push past that nagging feeling of "what if"... again, I am sorry to doubt you. Very sorry, but I just don't know what to think.

[JudyKayTee]

[I]
However if youre trying to discredit me in this, then expect me to retalliate in a like manner, because I wont sit by and have my family or myself disrespected, or put any risk to our privacy or safety.

As I said earlier, if this is the truth, then shame on me. If it's not, then shame on you.

As far as you retaliating - I specifically (and I do not speak for anyone else) do not take kindly to threats and think it's a very bad way for you to approach this situation. There is no descrediting here - it is a matter of finding the truth.

I'm sure that the truth, whatever it is, will come out in time.

This certainly would have been easier to understand if, when I couldn't understand the Jewish burial, someone had explained that this was not strictly a Jewish burial. I couldn't understand having a body which was not embalmed brought back to house .following the autopsy. In fact, I still don't - but I'm not in the UK.

As far as the date of death - I don't know if there are other widows posting. I can tell you to the second when my husband died and, yes, it was close to Midnight. You ask and it keeps running through your mind. Sometimes I find my eyes on the clock on Tuesday nights at that time.

No one here is sitting in judgment. Whatever the situation is, it remains tragic.

[ScottGem]

Ok, I'm going to nip this in the bud. Since you mentioned it here I will briefly describe our correspondence. I told Marianne about a specific incident a year or more ago where we were played by another member who preyed on our good will and sympathies. That hasn't been the only time that people have posted trumped up stories only to find out it was a hoax.

So, this has made us all skeptical, including me. Adding to this, in PP's case, she has stepped on some toes and made some faux pas that have contributed to the suspicions many people have. And there are many people who are skeptical.

But I have explained this to Marianne and she has been gracious in understanding why we are skeptical and has promised to provide me with proof. I will verify what she provides and I will state whether I have found what she provides sufficient or not without revealing the nature of the proof. I think you all will trust my word on that.

Given the circumstances, I'm willing to give Marianne some time to provide such proof. While I would be the first to state that she has made more than a few mistakes here, on the whole I think her contribution to this site has given her the right to be given some level of consideration. So I am going to cut off any further discussion on the veracity of what she has posted until such time as I decide that I have had enough.

[Aurora_Bell]

As I said earlier, if this is the truth, then shame on me. If it's not, then shame on you.

As far as you retaliating - I specifically (and I do not speak for anyone else) do not take kindly to threats and think it's a very bad way for you to approach this situation. There is no descrediting here - it is a matter of finding the truth.

I'm sure that the truth, whatever it is, will come out in time.

This certainly would have been easier to understand if, when I couldn't understand the Jewish burial, someone had explained that this was not strictly a Jewish burial. I couldn't understand having a body which was not embalmed brought back to house .following the autopsy. In fact, I still don't - but I'm not in the UK.

No one here is sitting in judgment. Whatever the situation is, it remains tragic.

Had to spread the rep, but great post Judy.

[positiveparent]

Ive explained the so say inconsistencies on previous page.
HAVE A LOOK.
I am not using two user names.

There are various Jewish sects not all are orthodox.

See above from scottgem.

see previous page for explanations of anything else.

I wonder will I get personal apologies in time for this I doubt it, and if anything I say isnt to anyones liking, then thats not my problem.
Not that a thousand apologies could make me feel any better about this.

My cousin will be back at end of week, contact her if you want.

[JudyKayTee]

Maybe this should be closed until the Mods are satisfied that everything is as it should be or as it has been explained.

I realize that the websites have now been changed for whatever reason.

At any rate - enough nitpicking. Time to close?

[Alty]

I just want to say one thing, than I'll not post again until Scott does.

Marianne, we've all been fooled before, that's the disturbing aspect of the internet, people do lie, people do pretend to be something they're not. It would be foolish of anyone to take what people on the internet say at face value.

We've all been burned before, too many times. People that we trusted, let into our lives, only to find out that everything they told us was lies. I guess it's made us all jaded. That's our way to protect ourselves from allowing it to happen again. It's the sad truth. I wish I could be more trusting, but experience has taught me not to be.

I understand that being on your end of the mistrust and questions isn't ideal, but please, try to understand where we're coming from. None of us are mean people, we're all just people, people that have been burned and now tend to stay away from the flames. I know I'd be upset if an event in my life was questioned, but, I'd understand. This is the internet.

How many times do we advise young girls that come here to ask about a guy they met on the internet, to be weary, to be careful, not to trust? The same goes here.

Many of us are friends, but it's taken years to get to that point, to trust each other. You're still fairly new, and like Scott said, you had a very rocky start here. That rocky start, although in the past, isn't entirely forgotten and weighs heavily on a lot of people's minds. This is a bump in the road, and when it all gets resolved, I'm hoping we can move forward.

I'm hoping you can understand where we're coming from. I do understand you're upset, but that's really not our intention. There are simply questions, and it's not because it's you that we're asking them. We all have a hard time trusting people we really don't know.

I hope you can understand that and I wish you all the best.

[positiveparent]

I would ask that this thread not be closed Please, as I would like it left open so that once my cousin is back she can read it and post any thing she may wish to say about it. Thank You