[mac77]

Hi
I am 33 years old and still suffer with loss of my dad. When I was 15 my father had a massive heart attack and died in front of me, I blamed myself for a while because I thought I could have done something more to save him but I just ran off to phone an ambulance.I will never forget the look on his face as he lay there and it haunts me every night to this day. I lay awake at night just thinking about death and its making me really depressed, pluss I start thinking about when other family members are going to die.I hate the way I feel and suffer from panick attacks. I wonder why I was never offered counselling by my doctor got any help, I was just a boy and nobody ever asked how I was feeling, I was being treated for panick attacks and depression at 15!
Has anyone been through the same?
Thanks for reading
M

[J_9]

You need to SEEK counseling. Grief, in it's purest form, should last no longer than a year. If it lasts longer counseling is indicated.

[KBC]

If things haven't improved in all that time,like J_9 said.. seek professional help now.They didn't offer it then but what has stopped you from seeking it since then?This couldn't have been all that much of an issue since you didn't get any help or ask for advice till now,right?

Here are the stages of grief and a site to read before you go to a professional about this,perhaps you can begin discussion with them from an educated side instead of from scratch.

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/grief_loss.htm

Hope this helps you:)

KBC