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    Green Elephant's Avatar
    Green Elephant Posts: 106, Reputation: 8
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    Jul 23, 2010, 01:25 AM
    My brother is threatening to kill himself.
    Hello.

    I'm 22 years old. I have an older brother, and two younger brothers. The eldest brother and I both moved out of the house when we were 17. With that being said, my younger brother has had a past of extreme emotional detachment. My father left my mom when I was 5, and my younger brother was 2.

    My younger brother has always been extremely distant and does not talk about his emotions. The past couple years, he's said that he hears voices, and sometimes they are suicidal. My mom has been taking him into different doctors and psychiatrists, but nothing seems to work, and the more my mom tries, the more it ends up frustrating my younger brother.

    They fight constantly, and nothing has gotten better for years now. He doesn't want to take medication because of the recent past when a doctor proscribed him something that made him laps into a seizure. As of late, he's been seeing a psychiatrist, but he told me that he only listens to him for a while then proscribes him some pills that he doesn't take.

    I'm writing this now because he called me at 3:00 AM saying he was going to kill himself. I don't have a lot of experience with people I care about saying that to me, but I stayed calm and talked him down, and told him that nothing is good is going to happen while he's at my mom's house, so I told him to drive to my place which is a half hour away.

    I'm waiting for him now, and I was just wondering as I begin to try help my brother when it seems no doctor or psychiatrist is doing the trick, if anyone has suggestions for me?

    This is also affected his work ethic. He got a job through manpower to which he worked 2 days and was let go because he wasn't feeling well. He blames my mom for not helping him and says that she's made it worse, when really, all she's done is respond to him when he comes to her saying "I don't feel well", "I'm hearing voices", and "I don't care to be alive anymore".

    I'm scared that nothing is working and it's on my shoulders now. He asks for help, but when someone tries to help him, he says things "get worse" because he reached out to someone when he knows he shouldn't have.

    Any suggestions on this will of course be appreciated.

    Thank you.
    Clough's Avatar
    Clough Posts: 26,677, Reputation: 1649
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    #2

    Jul 23, 2010, 01:31 AM
    Hi, Green Elephant!

    My concern right now would be for the immediate future after he arrives. Are you okay with being alone with him?

    Thanks!
    Clough's Avatar
    Clough Posts: 26,677, Reputation: 1649
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    #3

    Jul 23, 2010, 01:48 AM
    Please let us know if things are okay, Green Elephant.

    Thanks!
    Green Elephant's Avatar
    Green Elephant Posts: 106, Reputation: 8
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    #4

    Jul 23, 2010, 01:57 AM
    Thanks Clough. He got here about 5 minutes ago, and I told him to sleep on my couch for now. He promised he wouldn't do anything tonight. I think he's just exhausted so hopefully He's going to pass out for the night. I have to work in a couple hours, but I will respond with any updates as soon as I can.

    Thanks again. In all sincerity
    Clough's Avatar
    Clough Posts: 26,677, Reputation: 1649
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    #5

    Jul 23, 2010, 02:05 AM
    One last question of you here, if you don't mind?

    Does he abuse himself in any way, like with drugs or alcohol?
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #6

    Jul 23, 2010, 07:41 AM
    You don't say how old your brother is, but if he drives, I presume he's over 16. Is he in school?

    Have there been other suicide threats, and have there been other suicide threaths that have turned into action, i.e. has he ever taken an overdose, been hospitalized, or has he ever, in any way, indicated that he had a plan.

    By that I mean, concrete reasons to believe that his threats of suicide, are more than threats.

    Has he ever said how he is going to do it, when, etc. Have you gone through this, or your mother, before with him.

    Has he ever suddenly gone quiet for a period and seem to clean up and tidy up his life- such as a thourough cleaning of his room. Sudden contacts with people, either friends or family that are pleasant and surprisingly 'normal', after a long period of obvious emotional upset.

    You have described him as having extreme emotional detachment. Can you describe in your own words what this means to you, and whether this is a psychiatric diagnosis given to him, or something you have concluded from your own research, or from his own summation of what is wrong with himself.

    I am so pleased you have found us. There are so many good people who can help direct you, and offer appropriate help and suggestions as to how to deal with this situation.

    Because you feel 'in crisis' so to speak, please do one thing before you write back, and that is let your mother know what is going on, and let his psychiatrist know what is going on. The medical end needs to know that he has unassessed suicidal thoughts, and he has prescription strength medication easily accessible.

    Looking forward to hearing more from you.
    Green Elephant's Avatar
    Green Elephant Posts: 106, Reputation: 8
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    #7

    Jul 23, 2010, 02:45 PM
    Thank you for your responses.

    My brother is 19 years old. He's tried pot, and drinking alcohol, but nothing more than that. His emotional detachment (by which I mean, never talking about his feelings, and never being fond of physical touch) has kind of been a known thing with our family since he was young.

    He's told me in the past that he hears voices, and this makes him feel crazy. And of course, my mom is going to take that seriously and get him in to talk with a professional about it. Last night was the first time he's ever said he was seriously considering it.

    As of right now, he's left my house and headed back to my mom's after she called him and said if he came home they will talk and work on it. My fear is that it's only a matter of time until it happens again, and that time it may become worse.



    Thank you for your support and questions. They are greatly appreciated.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #8

    Jul 23, 2010, 02:58 PM

    If he is truly hearing voices, he needs to be evaluated immediately. This does happen around the late teens.

    Are there any other mental health issues in your family?
    DrBill100's Avatar
    DrBill100 Posts: 3,241, Reputation: 502
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    #9

    Jul 23, 2010, 03:23 PM

    There is one invariant rule when dealing with someone, anyone, expressing suicidal intent. You take them seriously. You never attempt to determine if they really mean it.

    Here is the number for National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

    1-800-273-8255

    You should contact this number even if you believe the crisis has past. Do not attempt to second guess or otherwise assess his stated intent or inclination.

    This number will get you in touch with the appropriate resources in your area. It is free and confidential. They are trained specifically to deal with this situation.
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #10

    Jul 23, 2010, 06:38 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Green Elephant View Post
    Thank you for your responses.

    My brother is 19 years old. He's tried pot, and drinking alcohol, but nothing more than that. His emotional detachment (by which I mean, never talking about his feelings, and never being fond of physical touch) has kind of been a known thing with our family since he was young.

    He's told me in the past that he hears voices, and this makes him feel crazy. And of course, my mom is going to take that seriously and get him in to talk with a professional about it. Last night was the first time he's ever said he was seriously considering it.

    As of right now, he's left my house and headed back to my mom's after she called him and said if he came home they will talk and work on it. My fear is that it's only a matter of time until it happens again, and that time it may become worse.



    Thank you for your support and questions. They are greatly appreciated.
    I kind of figured there was a bigger history here, and it has been long lasting.

    Do what you have been doing, and that is encouraging him to get help, and also help for you and your mother to deal with his suicidal threats as Dr. Bill said. The more information you have and the more prepared you are for these situations to repeat themselves, the better.

    I hope too that you will write the numbers down if you haven't already, and be prepared to use them.
    Green Elephant's Avatar
    Green Elephant Posts: 106, Reputation: 8
    Junior Member
     
    #11

    Jul 25, 2010, 09:57 PM
    Thank you all very much. It's been a trying few days to say the least, and the anxiety is almost crushing at times.

    But your comments to make my heart feel lighter. Thank you.

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