[paulaharris]

Are black and white thinkers immature?

[JudyKayTee]

Is this homework?

I don't think black/white "thinkers" are immature - I think it's the way a person's brain works. I've been told this MANY times - I went to law school, I work in the legal profession. I only see black and white. I honestly don't see shades of gray.

Sometimes it's a problem -

[Wondergirl]

As a librarian and a counselor, I'm just the opposite of JudyKayTee. I'm very open-minded. I grew up in a black-and-white religious home where things were either good or bad, godly or evil, beneficial or harmful. There were no shades of grey.

Being a black-and-white thinker does not mean a person is immature. Now, you tell us what it DOES mean.

(And Judy and I get along perfectly fine, despite our different ways of thinking about things.)

[ISneezeFunny]

Like mentioned above, there are those who think dichotomously, and there are those who have a wide range of thinking.

I'm somewhere in the middle. I think there are certain issues (cheating on your spouse, child abuse, domestic violence) that I'm completely dichotomous about... and then there are some things (business tactics) that I'm more on the... "let's call that a gray area" about.

[excon]

Hello paula:

Maturity has nothing to do with being right. I was right when I was young too.

excon

[Wondergirl]

Like mentioned above, there are those who think dichotomously, and there are those who have a wide range of thinking.

Just because one has an open mind doesn't mean that person has no morals or ethics. I'm against murder, but can understand murder if it's in self-defense. I'm against abortion, but can understand abortion after rape or incest. If I were dichotomous, as Sneezy calls it, all murder would be evil, even abortion if the mother were dying or if murder in war.

If a 50-something client confesses to me that she's having an affair with a 20 y/o neighbor, I would be open-minded and allow her talk about it if she wants to, and meanwhile I would do active listening to find what her state of mind. My opinion of the affair would not color our counseling relationship. If a 50-something neighbor dropped in on my mother and confessed that she's having an affair with a 20 y/o neighbor, my mother would be scandalized and would immediately try to get the neighbor on her knees in prayers seeking forgiveness.

My role as librarian and as counselor demand that I be open minded. If I'm not, both professions in addition to the patrons/clients will not get what they need.

[JudyKayTee]

As far as Wondergirl and I are concerned, I think ALL of these matters involve mutual respect.

I am a stickler for rules - I don't really know where anyone else stands on that issue BUT I have worked in a legal environment for years and years and that's what it boils down to for me - rules.

And, yes, people tell me all the time that I have to lighten up.

[Kitkat22]

As far as Wondergirl and I are concerned, I think ALL of these matters involve mutual respect.

I am a stickler for rules - I don't really know where anyone else stands on that issue BUT I have worked in a legal environment for years and years and that's what it boils down to for me - rules.

And, yes, people tell me all the time that I have to lighten up.

Dichotomously, I feel the same as JudyKay.:D Also dichotomously, I agree with WG.

What does that even mean? Dichotomously. Don't tell me to look it up.

[Jake2008]

I think black and white thinkers seem immature sometimes, because they don't waste any time coming up with an answer, and it's usually correct, which tends to put off more creative thinkers who come up with sixteen different reasons and answers to the same quesiton.

It is fun to debate possibilities, and exceptions and have wrenches thrown into solving problems that put you off, and challenge you, but at the same time, even going in different directions, one way of thought usually compliments the other.

I think the key to a partnership with one b&w thinker, and one creative thinker (if that's the right way to put that) is a sense of humour, and rubber frying pans.

[Clough]

Hi, paulaharris!

Why are you asking the question, please?

To me, it really depends on what a person is thinking and doing. Some people might think a certain way more than other ways depending on the circumstances.

For instance, I was a teacher in schools for many years. When it came to following the rules in school, I tended to think in black and white terms. However, what I mainly taught concerned things that were artistic in nature. Many shades of gray thinking concerning things in the arts of any kind, that is, except when certain, specific rules must be used in order to create and/or perform that which is artistic.

Thanks!

[rstella]

I don't know about immature... it will certainly make their lives much more difficult. For example, someone with low self esteem will either feel great or terrible - which is very black and white thinking. They'll never be "ok", which is more of a gray area.

[JudyKayTee]

I don't know about immature...it will certainly make their lives much more difficult. For example, someone with low self esteem will either feel great or terrible - which is very black and white thinking. They'll never be "ok", which is more of a gray area.

I disagree - I feel fine, okay, any other word you can use here. I don't believe low self esteem has any part in this question - that's not what we are talking about.

[Wondergirl]

When I think in a black-and-white way, I feel safe. There are very definite boundaries. As JudyKayTee mentioned, the legal field is that way. There are rules (laws). If someone breaks one, there is a punishment. A trial, for instance, determines if someone broke a law or not and, if he did, what is to be the punishment.

Fundamentalists/evangelicals in a religion are very rule-bound. The Ten Commandments are the rules for Christians and make them feel safe. There's no gray area: one obeys or disobeys. Life is very simple. When I was in college, the hot topic was situation ethics, when there are gray areas for rules. For instance, stealing is wrong, is breaking the law, but if someone who has no money steals a loaf of bread to feed his starving child, would that be breaking the law? Situation ethics says that would be okay because the law was broken out of love, for a good reason. Situation ethics makes life complicated and messy; rules can be broken and it's okay. The problem is who or what is to decide that it's okay to break the rules and when and why.

[cdeering05]

If our legal system were black and white than there would be less crimminals walking out with deals, and jurors would be allowed to hear all the information in a case and be allowed to see the defendant in his/her true image,not made up to be a clean cut phony because the courts allow the defendants to hide in suits and clean shaven disquises and leave jurors with false first impressions, then decide behind closed doors what evidence the jury is allowed to hear or see. I used to be black/white,but allowed for the grey area because life is grey. My boundaries, as all of ours are,are set by our own individual lines in the sand that we place intentionally or not. As to maturity, our actions reflect that more than our thoughts or beliefs. Under oath a black and white thinker would know they would be struck by lightening if they then told anything but the truth, yet another person may place more importance on the outcome, or they just may not consider karma and consequences, short term or long term. Maturity is measured in many different areas,emotionally,mentally, physically and you need to consider environment, education, and influences that have helped to layer who you are in your soul. No black and white answer for you. Because life is grey. But because life is grey we can change and grow, so keep asking questions and as needed redraw your lines in the sand, allow for colors that your comfortable with, let the black and white be your guide posts. And becoming comfortable with who you are and how you think most definitely will impact your self-esteem, as will someone telling you that your views are wrong and immature. There your views and thoughts, no one else's opinion matters. We only need to be happy with the 'self ' we create at the end of each day. And isn't it great that every morning that you awaken is another chance to design!

[excon]

If our legal system were black and white than there would be less crimminals walking out with deals,

Hello cd:

We're already the LARGEST jailer in the world, but that's not good enough for you, huh? Dude!

excon

[JudyKayTee]

Hello cd:

We're already the LARGEST jailer in the world, but that's not good enough for you, huh? Dude!

excon

Hey, Excon Dude - this is, in fact, a Dudette. A very unhappy Dudette with all sorts of complaints about "the system" (read some of the other posts), but a Dudette all the same.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/marria...ml#post2434883

[excon]

cdeering05 agrees: how about the innocent ones that didnt get a fair trial. Everything works both ways. Kill Manson, make more room.

Hello again, cd:

You talked about "deals" - deals that BOTH sides agree to. Innocent people shouldn't make those deals. They don't have to. They can have a trial if they wish. If they choose not to, I don't think they were innocent.

excon

[cdeering05]

I spent 12 years in a lawsuit, won in the end, but big deal, I will never see a penny of the $100k settlement, and lost 12 years fighting mostly the system because of loopholes. Legal ones put there for the crimminal. If I wasn't tenacious I would have given up the pursuit years earlier, however all the lawyers and the damn judges verbally acknowledged her crime, but statutes and bankruptcys allowed her to continue to avoid justice. I was once as naïve as you, and if you find yourself charged with a crime and are innocent, you better have a lot of money and the best attorneys, not one but numerous to keep up with the loopholes. And don't count on a jury being allowed to hear YOUR truth, because that is not the way the game works. As for deals, watch Law Abiding Citizen and get back to me on that both sides theory of yours. That's just a movie.Pretty graphic, so hope you're a tough dude. What about the men being released after 20yrs time served because the dna has finally proved that they were telling the truth to the jury the whole time? Choosing that trial didn't help them. And back to the topic, nothing is really black and white, except you're a dude and I am not. Stay out of trouble.

[JudyKayTee]

Need details of your lawsuit in order to know -

I don't base my life on what I see in movies.

[Kitkat22]

Exy is not naïve. He's very smart.
Maybe you should have had JudyKayTee and Exy as your lawyers.