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    summerstiles's Avatar
    summerstiles Posts: 3, Reputation: 5
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jul 14, 2010, 11:07 PM
    Breaking up before college
    So first off, I love my boyfriend and he loves me back. We've never cheated or got into serious fights. We've been going out for a year now and were as happy as can be. But, next year (fall 2011) he will be going off to college (I will still be in high school) and we will probably break up. I agree that that is the smart thing to do yet the whole situation saddens me. Knowing that our relationship has an expiration date makes it seem useless. So at times I think about breaking up with him because I know I will have to eventually, but I really don't want to do that.

    I'm not looking for sympathy just maybe some advice on the matter from someone who thinks they can help
    Thanks,
    Summer
    kp2171's Avatar
    kp2171 Posts: 5,318, Reputation: 1612
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    #2

    Jul 14, 2010, 11:15 PM
    I think that many times young love is for a time, and not all time.

    There is nothing wrong with saying... I love you... our lives are changing... we need to step back...

    Because... honestly... that is the reality.

    I loved a great girl once... it was really bad timing... we were a great match, but going different directions. It happens.

    Don't fight it. He might be great. But there are a few billion people on this earth. There are a lot of great people out there, and you are young... that isn't a cop out. Your love can be real and intense and honest... but you are young and your life is still changing in very dramatic ways.

    It does not diminish your time together or the love you have shared to say "its time to step back"...

    You are thinking about this in a very mature manner, with good insight... even if it hurts you to type it.
    summerstiles's Avatar
    summerstiles Posts: 3, Reputation: 5
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    #3

    Jul 15, 2010, 12:07 AM

    thanks, I wasn't sure what I was looking to get out of that post, but you helped =]
    Oddboots's Avatar
    Oddboots Posts: 57, Reputation: 8
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    #4

    Jul 15, 2010, 01:16 AM
    All good things must come to an end. Enjoy it while it lasts.
    BWK10's Avatar
    BWK10 Posts: 127, Reputation: 34
    Junior Member
     
    #5

    Jul 15, 2010, 07:55 AM

    Don't break up with him, just cause the time will come eventually. Rather, cherish your time with him... spend time with him, take care of him, relish every chance and every moment you spend together.
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
     
    #6

    Jul 15, 2010, 10:13 AM

    Fall 2011 is still a long way to go. Until then, just focus on building a stronger relationship. You still have another year together to strengthen your connection. I am especially focusing on your communication system.

    The stronger the bond and the better the communication system, the more chance you have to work things out long term, regardless of how far apart you are from each other.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #7

    Jul 15, 2010, 12:39 PM

    I think since you both know that you should break up before he goes to school, just be friends now and enjoy each other and the summer.
    It's not like you're breaking up on bad terms.
    ashjfdkasdf's Avatar
    ashjfdkasdf Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Feb 21, 2011, 09:43 AM
    My boyfriend and I are going through the same thing. I feel very lost and sad and its really upsetting to me to know that we're just going to get closer and more attached and then have to break up. At this point I couldn't imagine my life without him and it kills me to say that because I know just a few months down the road I will have to.
    kp2171's Avatar
    kp2171 Posts: 5,318, Reputation: 1612
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    #9

    Feb 23, 2011, 09:54 PM
    I know it is not any comfort for me to say this happens all the time.

    happened to me.

    more than once.

    but I will say it, out loud, to you.

    ...

    it is not wrong to open yourself up to someone, even if it fails.

    much of the time, it might fail... or not... or...

    point is this.

    don't regret jumping. Don't regret hoping. Don't regret wishing.

    ...

    its hard to accept that some of the beauty of knowing another is getting close and then pulling away.

    ...

    I've loved and liked a few women who were wrong for me, even when I wanted then and thought they were right for me.

    just because I want something doesn't Make It So...

    ... Poo...

    =(...

    so... point is that I hope you are willing to still get close to others and to accept that sometimes it might not work out.

    being open to another person is a good thing, even if things don't pan out as you'd wish.


    Quote Originally Posted by ashjfdkasdf View Post
    my boyfriend and i are going through the same thing. i feel very lost and sad and its really upsetting to me to know that we're just going to get closer and more attached and then have to break up. At this point i couldnt imagine my life without him and it kills me to say that because i know just a few months down the road i will have to.

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