[AmyRox]

Hey. I really need some help.. Im 17 and I had been dating a guy for a year, I was head over heals in love. He was perfect, he texted me all the time saying how he's so lucky he can't live without me etc, called all the time, and insisted on seeing me almost every single day, which I loved.. Hes my first and only sexual partner.. At the beginning of our relationship he was at a bar and kissed another girl, but I forgave him because he was drunk. About a month ago, he told me he didn't know if he wanted us to stay be together. I was distraught but less than an hour later he called saying he regrets doing that so much and he needs me. Happy days.. A week later we got into a fight, I suggested that he may want to brake up and he said he did. He cried and cried and cried saying how hard it'll be for over a week.. The next few days we spent just the two of us, kissing and hugging and saying he loves me. He asked could we get back together after a few weeks. A week later he changed his mind, he wanted to stay broke up, and has started messing around with other girls.. Im so heartbroken and I don't know what to do. He wants to be best friends but its so hard. I can't be around him, but I can't not be around him :( help. Please

[JK191]

No contact. Just cut off all contact with him. There are stickies at the top of the "Relationships" forum which you can check out regarding this.

You can't keep yourself around someone who won't make the commitment of being in a relationship with you.

You'll suffer a whole lot less if you just stick to No Contact, it's worked for a lot of people on this board and I'm sure it would work for you as well.

[redhed35]

Time to go no contact,the guy wants to break up but does not know how to do it,that's why he's not and cold.

So you make the break for you,it hurts,but it's the only way for you to get over him.

Don't stroke his ego by being available for him when he needs a shoulder to cry on or if he's feeling lonely,or horney..

Pick yourself up,get busy in your life,throw yourself into work or school and Don't contact him,that includes Facebook,email,text, through friends,no contact.

No contact is for you,its not a way for him to miss you or a game to get him back,no contact is for you to heal and move on.

[septemberlove]

Absolutely agree.

No contact needs to be because you are tired of hurting and you respect yourself.
Stop letting him walk all over you! You are worth more than this... you deserve someone who wants to be with you and will choose to be with you no matter what. This relationship will never work-because he doesn't know how to make it work. So, for you, choose to move on.

[mountainpinelake]

Time will heal how you feel. Just TLC yourself now and keep busy with other friends and things. There will be another who will not do this. Having sex with someone makes things much more painful - like having a piece of yourself torn away but others have survived and thrived after - I believe you will too.

[Starry nights]

You meet people everyday.Some will become close to you,some won't.This guy did,you had a relationship and now its over.Am sure,there are explanations and all that.He's actions don't tell you that,but there definitely are explanations.

Since you don't have them,you are confused.But don't forget,explanations or no explanations,the outcome is that,ITS OVER.Period.Of course you'll be heart-broken and sad.This guy meant something to you.But,like it or not,realise this : this is just maybe the tip of the iceberg,a beginning.There'll be so many stages in life when you are hurt,let down,betrayed by people,so many times they disappoint you,frustrate you,confuse you and mislead you.Many times they'll tell you why they did what they did and give you the explanations.Many times there'll not be any closure.

But you still have to live with it.Thats the way life is and you can't really do much about it,except maybe shut yourself in a room and not interact with people.Other than that, what you can do,is how you pick up the pieces with grace and dignity,learn the lesson you are meant to,from the episode and move ahead with renewed enthusiasm and optimism.After all,its your life and you surely don't want to waste it for somebody.You shouldn't wake up 30 yrs later and find you've lived half of your life in sadness and misery caused by other people.

Take this as an experience,know there'll be more,recover and heal,then face life as a better,more mature,confident,wise young person.Life's beautiful and each day counts.All the best.

[talaniman]

Its time you accept he don't know what he wants except finding other females so go No Contact, and heal, so you can get beyond the hurt, and pain, and start doing your own thing without him.

Read the stickies and understand that that's just the way reality and life are.

[positiveparent]

Agree with all others here, go NC and in time you will begin to feel better, his behaviour appeared to be that of someone who was confused and in order for you to get to grips with this and allow yourself to heal you really need to go no contact, good luck.

Its painful however by going NC it really will help you. Im sorry you're hurting.

[AmyRox]

Im 17.Me and my boyfriend of a year recently broke up. He had warned me for months and months that if we ended, he would hate me if I went near any of his friends. A month after we broke up me and him went to a bar with a group of friends, and I ended up kissing a pal of his, being drunk and stupid. I was so hurt about breaking up and didn't think.He had kissed a few others also, not my friends though. He went mad and left the bar, smashing bottles and kicking walls. I chased him begging for forgiveness but he didn't want to hear it and hopped into a taxi.This was 2weeks ago and I have been apologising like crazy, but He recently found out from my friend that I was into another guy. He deleted my number saying he didn't want to know me because of this (even though he dumped me). He kept asking who it was and I eventually told him. It was a borderline enemy of his, they just never hit it off. He stormed off in a huff, the next day I notice on Facebook his status is, "your gone for good now"... Please help! Do I forget him because he's moved on :( or do I keep apologising.. I want him back so bad but I know its not going to happen now :(

[kutocer]

Forget him, He finsihed it with you not the other way round. Childish immature behiavour.

Your both still finidng your way in life and have a lot more to learn. Take this as a lesson in life and improve yourself for you.

How can he have a go at you when he was doing it as well.

Drink will never help, as my mum says you will find nothing at the bottom of a bottle and in the morning it will still be there.

Life your life and stay strong.

[talaniman]

Forget him!