[bluebell11]

I'm in my third year of college now, and about 6 months ago I met this guy in class. Well, basically we ended up being really good friends. We would talk all day long non-stop, and I could tell we both liked each other as more than friends.. anyway, the day finally came when he asked me out. I couldn't have been happier. He was great. Everything was going really well.. he said he loved me and just.. basically was crazy about me, within the first 1-3 weeks. Everything was going fine until when winter break came around. Suddenly it seemed he wasn't interested in keeping in touch with me that much. Once the semester ended, and the vacation began, he hadn't spoken to me for 11 days. I was really hurt.. and confused that for all of the big deal he made of me, and for the good place it seemed our relationship WAS going, that suddenly he just.. seemed to be backing off. I spoke to him about it and he said it wasn't intentional, but the problem kept happening. He wasn't calling me, most of the time his phone was off or he wasn't picking up, and he was rarely on aim. We still talked and had good conversations but it was few and far between. One day during winter break I went to visit him while he was taking his winterim classes at school, he wanted to break up with me because he thought that he would continue not talking to me and that it would just hurt me. I didn't understand why all of a sudden he would have a problem with talking to me considering that for about the 3 previous months we would talk all day, and have a great time just talking to each other. Needless to say, I wanted things to work with him, so I convinced him to give us a try.

I thought that things would go back to the way they were once school began again, and we'd be seeing each other everyday again. School finally began again.. and it was just worse. He would go the whole day without talking to me hardly at all, I wondered where our rapport went? He didn't seem to care very much about hanging out with me anymore. I didn't want to give up the relationship because of so many things I liked about him as a person, and because I remembered how wonderful it seemed the last semester, and also partly just because I didn't understand what happened that was making him act this way. I was his first g/f in 5 years (previous relationship was only 3 and a half months long too) and I know he was not used to relationships at all. 3 weeks ago he broke up with me. His reasons were that "we aren't meant to be" because if we were then we wouldn't be having a problem, is his logic. He said he doesn't think we're right for each other.. but I personally thought we were fine until he just stopped talking to me. It hurts because I truly cared for him a lot.. and I just don't really understand what happened to make him act this way. Also, he has said that he felt stifled.. I'm guessing because we were in all of the same classes together, and usually spent time together during the breaks in b/w classes. Keep in mind we weren't even seeing each other on the weekends (he always went home on the weekends), and that we were not even talking much in the times that we were together in school, and I only asked that he call me on fridays. We only spent time together outside of school on tuesdays after class. He never even visited my house and vice versa in the 3 month and 3 week long relationship that we had going, was another thing that bothered me. I would argue w/ him about this.

Anyway, now we are just friends but it is hard for me. He says we are friends but that later on "if this works out" then maybe we will go out again. He still doesn't treat me the way he did when we were friends. He doesn't talk to me like he used to or act remotely the same. It hurts because I miss the connection that we used to have. I've tried talking to him about it but he is very adament that he feels that this is right for us to not be together right now. I guess my question is just what I should do about this. Its hard for me to get over him when he still hangs the idea of the relationship over my head (if this works out later). I care about him so much and just wish that things could work. Is giving him space going to make him miss me, and want me back? I haven't really been giving him enough space since the break up (kinda hard to though when we're still seeing each other everyday). He says that if this is meant to be then he'll miss me and want me back. I want him back but I'm not sure of what to do to get that.

[rrt69]

He could be going though some problem back home. Talk to him and listen. He needs you more then you think.

[bluebell11]

I have definitely tried talking to him. To the best of my knowledge.. he isn't going through any problems at home (except for being operated on for sleep aphnia, but he's already told me about this). I don't think that that's it.. and well.. he doesn't seem to want me to really talk to him right now, period. I don't think even if I asked such a question I'd get a response out of him.. the reason why he always went home each weekend was because he's always done that because he gets homesick, lol. But who knows. I am just not wanting to approach him right now out of fear of getting like.. rejected and a weird look from him again just by saying hi or trying to talk to him.

[WOMEN IN NEED FOR HELP]

Hi am sorry you got hurt. :( The hardest thing about breaking up is the healing after.
I have a step –daughter who is 16 and yes she is going throw almost the same thing.
She comes to me for advice but am not really sure how to help her. She finely got her first boy friend and has cute as a button. The first night they went out to the show and she went over to his place to watch a movie. Now my step –daughter is a very good girl and very shy. BUT that night I had to wake her father up top go get her because she didn’t come home and I was really worried about her. When I told her father what time it was ,he wasn’t too happy. See her father is about 350pound man sold muscle hehe and when he went over to the boys house to get his daughter he found out that she was okay but she was having so much fun with this boy that she really didn’t want to come home. So now its 1:30am when her father went to pick her up. So at 1:30am where we live we have a mad man hunting down his daughter in town lol.But when she came in the house she started to scream at me trying to tell me that I don’t understand how much she is in love with this boys and how they have so much in common with each other. As she was screaming at me her father was standing in the living room behind her as she was telling me how she feels about this boys. I never got a chance to say a word to her cuss she was so upset that she had to live this boy. Make a long story short her father and I had a really good talk with her and explained about the birds and bees and how she needed to come down and do some thinking about what she had just screamed at me. So we gave her the befit of the doubt and let her see this boy 5 times. And five times I had to send her father out to bring her back home AGAIN. Well we had to finely tell her that this boy is off limits and talked to her about why she is the one always running to him and why he hasn’t even walked her home or picked her up when they where going on there dates. Now she has found out that this boy doesn’t want to date her because he came out and told her that he was interstate in 2 other girls before he met her. We found out that this boy goes to the same school as our daughter and we just found out that he is trying to get our daughter to hook him with her one of her best friends. Well that didn’t go too good with me and am just a little pissed off at this boy for playing with her emotions and doing this to her. The problem is is our daughter is BLIND and she can't see what he is doing to her. We tried to explain very nicely that this has to stop NOW.And all she keeps saying is oh it doesn’t bother me cause I know we are just friends. And all she keeps saying to me is oh I know you can't make someone love you so we are just friends. Now I found out that the other girl this boy wanted doesn’t want him at all. Now he is flirting with my step daughter again and saying things he shouldn’t say to get her to fall for him.Personaly this is just one of theses stupid games men play with women. I see my step son doing this with women too, and ITS NOT RIGHT..!. MY ADVICE TO ALL THE WOMEN OUT THERE IS DON’T BE BLIND OPEN YOUR EYES AND DON’T PLAY THE MEN GAMES.IF you play the game your only going to get hurt!! IF a man makes your run after him walk way and let some other fool play his game. IF A MAN TREATS A WOMEN LIKE A QUEEN THAN HE WILL BE TREADED LIKE A KING BACK. :)

[letmeno]

Easier said than done right?!
We women try so hard to read in between the lines when it comes to men. What we haven't figured out is that when it comes to men, THERE IS NO IN BETWEEN THE LINES!! They are the most simplest creature next to a goldfish! When a man likes you, they show it. It's just that simple. I don't want to be a busy body, buy by any chance did you sleep with him? I am 30 years old. I have been where you are and not to say that you are not a beautiful person inside and out but sometimes young men just loose interest. My advice to you would be to accept your friendship with him as what it is... A friend, go out and find a guy that will love you, always want to see you, always want to be with you and want's nothing more than to make you happy. Life is way too short to spend it trying to figure out what's going on in the mind of one !! You go girl!

[fredg]

Hi,
If he doesn't want you, then you are being worried for no reason; leave him alone.
Meet new people. If he decides he wants to be with you again, then he will contact you.
You will only cause more aggrevation to yourself, if you continue wondering how to get him back.
Best of luck,
fredg