[stpaige]

I am in a relationship with somebody, and have been for over a year now. I am 19, and he is 23 years old. We met at a party, and started dating around 3 days after we met. So that must have been a sure sign in the beginning that this was not going to turn out very good. Anyway, a couple years before I met him, he had a pretty bad heroin habbit. He was working at a casino and making really good money, and just got involved with the WRONG people, and started doing drugs. Anyway, he was supposedly clean from it when we started dating. But after we started dating, we began partying together, and popping painkillers together. It developed into such a bad habbit, that he in fact got me into shooting up heroin. I had never done anything like that, I used to roll on x a lot, and do all kinds of crazy stuff... but never anything like that. Anyway, we begin to go downhill, I began shoplifting to save money for our habbit, I even stole new video games and sold them all over the place for extra cash. After a while our parents found out what we were doing, (his mother had already experienced the grief of catching him doing it long ago) it broke her heart, and my mothers heart. We did however, get clean together. Believe it or not, without rehab. I even quit smoking pot, I have quit doing drugs period, and he really helped me with that. He used to go on and on about how I saved his life too, and all this crap. But after a while I moved in with him in a different city, almost transferred jobs to that city, and I lived there about a week. Then got sour. We began drinking a little too much. We began to argue and fight and started acting jealous about everything. I mean we had a great connection though as crappy as all this sounds. I really thought we were in love. But in turn of all the fighting, we broke up, or just decided to take a break from each other... I quit talking to him for 2 weeks. He started making himself seem desperate for me, and like an idiot, I talked to him and saw him one day. That day he asked me to be his girlfriend again, and foolishly I said yes. Now I am stuck in this web of his, and he doesn't even seem interested in me anymore. I don't understand why he still wants me to "be with him" if we're so apart all the time, and he barely talks to me anymore, nowhere NEAR as much as he used to... all in all I just feel lonely... This whole thing feels so complicated to me it's unbelievable. Ugh... anybody.. anything?

[talaniman]

I think you both have gone from one mind, and mood altering drug to another and are still caught up in your addictions.

Until that stops, you can never be healthy as individuals, and never have a healthy relationship. This is not about a relationship with each other, but an individual relationship with yourselves.

Get some help to guide you through the process of recovery at Alcoholics anonymous, or Narcotic anonymous.

[DrBill100]

This whole thing feels so complicated to me it's unbelievable. Ugh...anybody...? anything?

Based on your description, there is nothing difficult to understand or complicated. You are involved in a self-described pathological relationship.

Re-read your post and select out the points that make this relationship worth continuing.

Rather, as Talaniman wisely noted, your message points to a need for attention to other matters in your respective lives. I suggest that you are both better off pursuing those remedies separately.

Good luck to you.