[Mandabroooke]

Ok... My ex and I are just friends, but he wants to be friends with benefits. I guess that's OK beacause I'm extremely attractedto him and I want him to want me back. I've already told him that I still have feelings for him but he continues to tell me we are just friends. So I had a plan to flirt and be all over him and probably spontaniously kiss or make out with him. He has always liked that. So I need advice on how to turn him on (majorly) and want him wanting more! Advice?

[talaniman]

Your plan won't work, as he will take the gifts of your time, and body, use them for his pleasure, and be back for more free booty, and still just be "friends".

Only a misguided, immature female could think such a plan could work. Is that you??

That's not a friend, that's a booty call and that's what friends with benefits is and that's what you will be, a free booty with no strings attached.

If you were smart, you would deal with YOUR feelings in a more positive way, cut him from your life, and get someone who is better suited for you, and wants a lot more than just a free, and EASY piece of tail.

[Mandabroooke]

Thanks... And I know I'm immature... I'm 14! I just want to have a little fun... I was just hoping that if I did something he will realize what he's missing and come back... Don't worry! I'm not going to have sex with him! And I'm not going to give in to everything he wants... I was just thinking of giving him a little taste... And I've already tried to get him out of my life.. It didn't work. And I can't imagine myself with anybody else. I really don't want to lose him!

[jmw0713]

Follow your plan. I will check back on this site and read your future posts when you are heartbroken, feel used, and continue to wonder why he still doesn't want to be more than friends with you.

Honestly, why should he want anymore from you? You're already giving him what he wants.

You have a lot to learn about life.

[Mandabroooke]

I already tolled him that I didn't want to feel used... Thts why I'm not going to do anything I will regret with him (no oral or reg. Sex). But I know he cares about me... Trust me, we went through sooooo much. And he gets sad if I'm sad. That's why he called me and apologized like crazy when we broke up. I just always tell him how I feel.. But basically Im just going to flirt and stuff... Nothing bad. He told me he still loves me... But he doesn't want to go out... So I know he wouldn't want to hurt me... But if he does I can get over it

[jmw0713]

So you think that being a tease will make him want you more? Using sex as a weapon NEVER WORKS!

I see this going one of two ways:

1. You're a tease. He gets wise to your game and hooks up with another chick, leaving you heartbroken.

2. You're a tease. You two start getting hot and heavy. He still wants to be friends, while you want more. You end up feeling used AND heartbroken.

Here is the deal with relationships between guys and girls. Either guys and girls remain strictly friends and that's it, OR they take it to the next step and become partners. There is no joy being in the gray area for either person.

You're planning your failure here. Anytime you have to come up with a "plan" to get someone to like you, it's not going to work. That "plan" usually leads to humiliation and heartbreak.

How long did you guys "date"? I'm going to say not very long, less than 6 months.

[Mandabroooke]

Ok... I said I wasn't going to have sex! I'm waiting until I'm married.. But I'm just going to flirt... It's worked with him before! And your right.. We only dated for 2 months and 1day... But it's my longest relationship and he was my first kiss and everything! That's probably why it's so hard for me to let go... I shared something special with him... And we went through a lot... But I'm still hoping he will be back.. A girl can dream can't she?

[Jake2008]

Ok.... My ex and I are just friends, but he wants to be friends with benifits. I guess that's ok beacause I'm extremely attractedto him and I want him to want me back. I've already told him that I still have feelings for him but he continues to tell me we are just friends. So I had a plan to flirt and be all over him and probably spontaniously kiss or make out with him. He has always liked that. So I need advice on how to turn him on (majorly) and want him wanting more!! Advice??

Your question was, "I'm trying to majorly turn on my ex so he will want more, and get back together with me"- your words!!

You go on to say, "I had a plan to flirt and be all over him and spontaniously kiss or make out with him"- your words!

Now you backtrack, and say you have no intention of doing what you said you wanted to do, and what you were planning on doing. You just want to flirt... nothing serious. :confused:

You have to seriously give your head a shake here. If you want to majorly (your spelling not mine) turn on your ex boyfriend, and the plan works, then what are you going to do- he's all worked up, and it was all just to give him a sample of what he could get if he got back together with you.

Using sex, sexual suggestions, turning him on so he physically wants you, is flaunting yourself, and using your sexuality to snag a boyfriend. I hope he is smart enough to see what you are doing, and runs in the opposite direction.

You are a young teenager, and are already on the path of using sex as a means or as a weapon to get what you want.

You should seriously consider why you would stoop so low, think so little of yourself, not to mention the victim, that you would even consider doing what you are doing.

Have a little respect for yourself, get out of the gaming mode to trap a guy, go hop on your bicycle and go for a swim or something.

You, are trouble.

[jmw0713]

Yes you can dream, but what you have here is pure infatuation. That isn't a good thing.

And... Yes, it's fine to flirt with guys, but in your case you are not flirting. You are trying to instigate physical contact between you both in order to get what you want. That is using sex as a weapon (or as Jake put is so eloquently, a means to an end).

I suggest reading other stories on here about people trying to win their ex's back. It works maybe 1% of the time. In this case, hope generally leads to more heartbreak. Just warning you.

BTW, when a guy wants to be "friends with benefits" it usually means hooking up with out any sort of commitment.

Maybe you could just try being friends without and physical persuasion. Who knows, you might find another guy who you find more attractive.

[talaniman]

He is a horny young guy who wants in your pants and was tired of waiting, and broke up with you because you wouldn't put out after getting him hot and bothered. The rest is you thinking he will take you back, and be official. He already sees you as a friend with benefits, and at 14, that's not a good place to be.

You both think you can get over on each other and get what you want, but it doesn't work that way and he may give you the sad sack friends but will never be your boyfriend again.

Why should he? You still give him enough benefits to keep him coming back. You are 14 but willing to use your female charms to get a guy? That can't be good. Nor is a 14 year old being so stuck on a guy she is willing to do ALMOST anything to get him back. How is that smart?

[Mandabroooke]

Ok... Everyone keeps saying I'm using sex as a weapon.. How do I do that If I'm not going to have sex? Everyone is kind of being haters... And Seth (my ex) asked me to be friends... I was the one who said that I don't see him as a friend and I just want to kiss him so bad.. He said that I still could.. I don't know but wuts wrong with a kiss and a little bit of flirting? Nothing... I just don't want him to think I'm boring.. I want him to at least keep me on his mind so if he ever wants to go out again... He will know I'm not a loser.. I used to be! Seth is the one who made me like this! I used to be an innocent little girl who was scared to flirt with guys... But all I know now is that Seth is an amazing person and I don't know what I would do if we didn't talk or if we were just friends.. I'm still trying to convince him to go back out with me.. We have only been broken up for almost a week.. So it could still happen

[talaniman]

Good luck with that then.

[jmw0713]

We're not really hating. We just see this sort of thing day in and day out. Do you think you are the only girl who has come on here hung up over some guy? Do you think you are the only person who has ever brainstormed a "plan" to get their ex back?

The answer the both is no. You're just trying to play games. Games don't work... especially a game where you are going to be basically all over the guy. How will that make him want you more? If he doesn't want to go out with you, how will being up his butt, being all lovey dovey going to change anything. If it does anything, chances are it will make him withdraw more.

Plus, if the guy thinks you are boring and a loser, he isn't the guy for you anyway and isn't as "amazing" as you think he is. Don't let anyone "change" you. It usually isn't for the better. On the same token, don't go thinking you can change him either. That will never happen.

But what do I know. For that matter, what do any of us know, we're are just the haters you wanted advice from...

[Manicluv555]

My life is the second part of your story. I have a boyfriend already and he has a girlfriend but me and my ex are friends with benefits. We messed around all the time, non stop and my current doesn't know and his current doesn't know. Unfortunately it doesn't persuade your ex to become more attracted to you. My ex still loves his girlfriend and I still love my boyfriend and he has no feelings for me rather than sexual feelings. SO yeah, hope I helped.