[Momof5blessings]

I have joint custody with my ex husband, I have physical custody. This arrangement was established during our divorce in Maryland. We both agreed to relocate and modify visitation. I live in Ohio, but my ex lives in Colorado. Since our relocation, he has exercised very little of his visitation, he doesn't call as scheduled, and at one time banded 2 of our 3 children from coming to his home for visitation. Our children are 15, 13 and 11. I am considering joining the Army. While I am attending basic training and AIT, my husband (their step father) wants to care for them. I think it's best for the kids. It allows our children stabilizability with extended family, schools and medical care. Our 11 yr old is autistic with seizures, my husband has been with her for every surgery, hospitalization, and Dr visit. He knows her doctors, medication and misc blood levels. Would my husband be able to care for them while I am away for 18 weeks?

[Fr_Chuck]

You can leave power of attorneys to allow him to do medical care, I would go though an attorney.

Your ex will or could use this opportunity to enforce the custody agreements and file for temp custody of the kids. So do you think he will ?

Remember that if the current agreement allows you each to live where you are at, you are going to have to go back ( depending on the agreement) and get permission to actually move again with the military.

Also the 18 week now, but what about if you go to Korea for 11 months without family being able to go?

[Momof5blessings]

I think my ex would be pressured by his wife to file for temp custody, so he wouldn't have to pay child support. She doesn't want the kids in her home, but doesn't want him to pay support either. Neither of them will follow the doctors instructions for my special needs child's care.

Our current agreement has no clauses for relocation from our current addresses. It only stated that we are to meet to exchange the kids in an agreed upon city and transportation cost sharing.

My basic and AIT is 18 weeks, then we will report to our fist duty assignment. After completion of the assignment, the kids will be 18 years or almost there.

[Fr_Chuck]

Yes, it is that risk, one option is for the attorney to make them the offer to allow the kids to use their "joint" time with him during this period. He would have to refuse it, and most support is based with that joint visit time built in, not sure how's your works.

But yes, being away, your hubby does not have that same legal right as you do, and it allows ex a chance to file motions while you are away.

[Momof5blessings]

He delayed our divorce for 3 years because he didn't wan to loose BAH. Using that motions he was on military orders, can that delay court hearings for custody?

I don't think I understand our joint custody. He makes no medical, educational, or religious decision about the children. He has visitation every other Christmas, Thanksgiving and Spring break. He is allotted to have them 6-8 weeks in the summer. He has only taken Christmas and Thanksgiving once in the last 5 years. He has only visited with all 3 one time in the summer and last summer he allowed 1 child to visit him. This summer he said he would see them for 2 weeks to see how it goes.

Does a child's preference play any role?