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Cat1864 · Sep 23, 2010, 05:08 AM

Lena, I am sorry it didn't work out.

You did what you thought was best for you at the time. It's all anyone can do.

Now it's time to focus on your healing and moving forward. The stickies at the top of the main Relationship board can give you a lot of good advice and tips to help you move forward.

Remember that we are here to give more advice and support or need to rant.

Good luck. :)

Shadowburn · Sep 23, 2010, 01:35 PM

I truly hope you'll make it a last round with him. You gave yours all, and it didn't work out - fine. So what, it doesn't mean you don't work out. You have a lot to offer and you sound like a woman of dignity - please take a good care of yourself, allow yourself to grieve and heal and reach out for support.

Remember - everything happens for a reason. And it's better to find out now then 5 or 10 years from now.

Best of luck to you.

kp2171 · Sep 23, 2010, 08:33 PM

Originally Posted by lena1024

The end result is the same, he doesn't want to be with me.

So... as for feeling the fool. Let me tell you... I've played that role, so hard and deep that I just don't care to explain... but I've also been where you are, saying "at least i did my part"...

Eventually, that is comforting. To know you did your part and it just wasn't right.

As for the above quote...

There is a lot of strength to be gained from saying what you said.

Knowing it isn't right is the first thing. Yes... its nice to know why it failed, I guess... maybe... or not... because each new relationship is so unique and different.

I've been in a couple of long term, monogamous-ish relationships... with monogamous-ish meaning I've been right as rain and two BIG Loves lost and they stepped out (I like naughty girls, it seems)... and in the end... there was a lot of strength gained from just saying she doesn't want me or need me right.

Its OK.

I've been "right" for a time with lovers, and I've been "wrong" for a time with those same loves.

The key is to accept, expect, and even embrace that what you had together was for a time and not all time... and most aren't for all time.

So... don't second guess yourself.

Kitkat22 · Sep 24, 2010, 09:46 AM

Lena.. You're a very strong woman, you'll do fine. I'd bet on it... Kit

lamp_post · Sep 27, 2010, 02:56 AM

Be strong! And good luck... gosh, I was hoping my ex would come back to me and I too, will give her chance as I am suffering on and off.

I dearly missed her and thinking about the good memories so bad. Got to stay NC strongly.

answerme_tender · Sep 27, 2010, 07:00 AM

You need this time to heal. The hardest part of this is be alone. Why is that I wonder, I mean we know logically that our ex's are dogs. We are not a bag of trash to been thrown away. But unfortunately that is the situation, not only for you but for most of us here on this site.
Lena, now is for you to take control of the situation. Its not going to be easy, but it can be done. Its time for you to make a choice, do you want to no more then to be considered someone's bag of trash that they will always throw away or do want more from life. More from life doesn't always mean jumping right back into a relationship, it means that we have to learn to appreciate ourselves. To not only know we deserve more, but will not SETTLE for less. Its time for you to take that knife out not just your heart but between your shoulder blades. Getting out with friends is great, but if not enough its okay to talk to a professional or clergy. If you don't have anything to do at work and start dwelling get on lthis site and read/answer post.
Good luck