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grace_versales · May 12, 2004, 06:45 PM

I have a HUGE problem. Im fifteen and I have WAY older cousin who likes me( he's like around 20). It is so weird when I'm around him. He wants me to tell him if I like him or not. Im so scard of him. What can I do?! :'(

elrp · May 13, 2004, 12:50 PM

Well it depends if you like him back or not?

Although many people think this is incest, it's not. It's legal for cousins to date because the relation is distant. However, your family are unlikely to be happy about it. Is it worth risking the respect from your family by doing this? If you really like him and think it's worth the risk then go for it. I it's long term, if it's unlikely to last it's probably not worth it.

If you don't like your cousin then tell him. Say no, you're family and would never consider such a thing and ask him to leave you alone.

grace_versales · May 13, 2004, 03:43 PM

That really helped,
You have really good advice.
Thank you.

elrp · May 16, 2004, 06:45 AM

You're welcome.

shwetarose · May 17, 2004, 08:04 AM

Hello Orange Oceans,

You are just 15. I know in today's genearation, you are considered matured.

I suggest you to not enter this relationship, if he is near cousin as it could let problem in your further Life.

Regards,

Shweta

sweety · Jun 9, 2004, 11:48 AM

Would you really want to get involved with a because far older dan you and who is your cuzin?? :-/

avataress · Mar 20, 2007, 01:10 PM

Dear Grace,

I see that you're very young. Although I'm 34 years older than you, I remember when I was your age quite vividly. All my male cousins younger and older were fascinated with me at that age, and some still are, because I was a very beautiful girl and people tell me that I'm still a very beautiful woman. That often happens in families.

If your cousin is not propositioning you for sex, or otherwise going too far in his admiration, the next time he asks you if you like him, you might want to ask him how he means that. After his answer, then you'll have a better idea of how to approach the situation. I didn't know this when I was your age.

Once your cousin tells you what exactly he means by do you like him, romantically or in a family way, then you could just speak from your heart, which, believe me, I did not know how to do at your age, and tell him that you love him in a family way only and that you don't think that anything else is appropriate, and if he continues like that, then you'll have to bring the adults of your family into the situation.

Finally, I did have a cousin of mine who was much older than me, ask me to have sex with him, when I was about 20 and we were alone in his parents house. I immediately told him that I couldn't/ wouldn't do that because we were cousins. He told me that I'd be missing a great experience, but I told him no again, and he never asked me after that. He just sought his sexual companions outside of our family after that. May I suggest the same to you? Cheers!