[KaelLuv19]

I need some serious advice on my situation. My boyfriend and I had been going out for 9 1/2 months and I really loved him. I met him when I came to college and I felt so blessed to have him. I broke up with him twice in 2003, once in September and once in December, when we were first getting started. I felt bad because I had lost my virginity to him, and I always said I was going to wait until marriage. Well, I realized that I really like him so we started to date again. However, in February he broke up with me. Basically, because I was being a female dog, and kept hanging up in his face. We got back together and everything was great, until two weeks ago. He broke up with me out of the blue, because he was too stressed with college, work, and trying to graduate. I was devasteated. I cryed on the phone with him and told him I loved him before I hung up. Mind you it was the first time I said I love you. Then the next morning he came to my apartment and said he loved me too, and wanted to get back together, Fast forward, yesterday morning he breaks up with me because what we are doing is wrong. We have had sex a lot, and he says we have to stop. He also said, he didn't think he could handle that type of relationship, because it just wouldn't work. I am so sad. I don't care about the sex I just love him and want him back so much. What should I do. I want to talk to him so much, but he said I am too big of an temptation right now. He says he does not want to do all this bad stuff that is wrong in the eyes of god, please someone give me advice.

[KaelLuv19]

Hey guess no one has any suggestions, or maybe you just don't have any ideas. Well, when I wrote the above I was not thinking rationally. I think that this break is probably much needed. I just have to get used to him not being there all the time anymore. And if it is meant to be, then it will happen. I sure hope it is meant to be, because I really love him. I would be sooo happy if one day we could get married. And so I understand what he is saying. He doesn't want to continue sinning, and that is not something you just do out of the blue. We need to get away from each other and put things in perspective.

This morning I was soooo gloomy, I was just really coming to terms with the fact that the relationship is over, and it might not ever be again. I was putting myself in a state of depression, thinking I was all alone, and had nothing to do but sulk. Then my ride for work didn't tell me he couldn't give me a ride until I called him 10 until work time. I was angry, and to add to that I had to walk 2 miles to work in the rain, and I was late. I got emotional for a second, thinking about all that has happened. But I got to work 10 min. late and I had to sit by someone I didn't know. That changed within the 8 hours I was there, and now I have a cool new friend with tats, and he is an amazing artist. The even greater thing is that I am not attracted to him, and I could see him as a great friend. He is even going to help me buy my first BMX bike. Fun Times. I also chilled with one of my other friends, and he gave me a ride home from work. We jammed to his gospel music, and it totally made me feel fantastic. I just need to do that more. Focus on God. Sorry I am rambling so much, but it helps to get it all out, and see it clearly. I love my ex boyfriend and I want to be with him so much. But we both need our space, and time to ask forgiveness from God. He is all I need right now. Never knew I could be so happy on one of the saddest days of my life. If that makes since. And with that I will end this.

But do, still post comments because that would really help. I still want to get back with my boy, so if any suggestions do post.

Also aim at esilmilek

Thanks All!! ;D

[alicka]

Sin, what is it? Where'd it come from? Many many questions... basically life is here to be lived! If we hold ourselves back from what's out there then how will we ever grow? How will we experience all the emotions and feelings? We won't! Sin is all around us! Every temptation u know is wrong, is a SIN. God has given us this 1 chance in life, how we choose to live it is up to us. We all have a place here!

In your case, I think your ex- is scared in some ways because he feels like he's done wrong and you're the 1 who makes him feel like that. This isn't bad! Maybe he just doesn't realise how short life really is... and what he has in front of him. You should live your life like everyday would be your last. Im a penta costal, and I've been brought up with a big religious influence, and you ex could be in the same boat, everythink I do the family's over my shoulder, n he mite feel like his family won't or wouldn't accept him maybe cause he feels he's sin'd. I duno, I've studied anthropology, n people do things that we don't expect because some times they feel trapped, over stressed, a problem that he hasn't sorted out mite be biting at him, or a combination of them.

Space isn't the best way to sort out the problems, because they'll still be there later.

Don't let him push you away. Find out what's wrong and do somethink about the problem!

Regards

[KaelLuv19]

Thanks for posting. Well, he basically said he needs time to stop doing all the bad he has done.

The night before we broke up I was asking him if he thought we would go to hell for sleeping together even though we weren't married. He said he didn't think it was so bad because we were in a committed relationship. Then, the next morning however, he told me that it was wrong, and it was even wronger that he tried to justify it.

He also feels bad, because basically everything that I have done that is bad I did with him. I used to be a really big goodie-goodie and I still kind of am, but he feels like he is influencing me in a bad way. I am 19, and he is about to be 22 in Sept. so he knows a lot more stuff then I do. He thinks that he was making everything bad, not look bad because he was doing it.

This year, he has been going to church a lot and has changed his life a lot. He doesn't drink, party, or cuss, a lot. But he bought me alcohol and he was my first. He feels like he is the cause of my badness. Especially since, I told him I wasn't bad until I met him. But I was being honest. Not that I am bad, I tasted alcohol twice, and it was a super small amount. I have never been drunk. The only really bad thing we were doing was having sex. I knew it wasn't right when I started, but I really loved him, so it didn't feel too bad. It actually felt right. But I can so live with out it for now. All I really want is him, because he was the greatest boyfriend ever, and I know there is no one near as great as he is.

He was the ultimate boyfriend, he put up with all my silly mess. And he did so much for me. I worked late, and so he would always make me dinner for when I got off, and buy me groceries when I ran out, and he has less money then me. He would always call me from his job before I went to work so we could just chat. And he watched so many chick flicks, and lifetime movies with me, it was mad. He was the perfect boyfriend, and I kind of didn't treat him like that. I took for granted what I had and now he is gone. He says he still loves me, and wants to be together, but we can't now.

All I really want is to see him again. I haven't seen him since we broke up, and I want to so bad. The worst thing is that we planned to go on a picnic this weekend, before everything happened and now I have all this stuff, and nowhere to use it. I was thinking about going down by the lake by myself, and doing some homework or something.

I just really need advice. I want to give him his space, but I don't want him to feel like he could be fine without me. What if all this space causes him to feel like he doesn't need me? I seriously don't want that to happen. It would be so horrible. I really love him, and so I am just trying to figure out what I need to do, to fix this situation. Should I talk to him? Should I give him space? I have no idea what to do, and I seriously need advice.

[mimi8191]

I just want to say that sex is not a sin I've been with my now husband 10 yrs and when we were dating I slept with him all the time I just think he has serious commitment issues ;)

[CroCivic91]

Sex as a sin... I've been thinking about it so much. "10 God's rules" (or whatever it's called in english) says sex is a sin if it's not used for breeding. No matter if you're married or not. So that's just too harsh for my taste.

When you think about it - religion (and it's "rules") are made to make you obey them and become a good person by doing it. However, you can be a good person without religion too.

I can tell from my experience that thinking about most things I did in life as a sin (while I was still going to church and thinking about sins a lot) made me feel very miserable. So I decided to stop it. I don't treat sex as a sin any more. Of course, I don't go raping girls around whenever I feel the need for sex... but why would I miss a chance with my girl if we both feel like doing it? Trying "not to do it" will just make me feel miserable again. We both can decide not to do it, but it's just a physical need that I don't think should be considered as a bad one. Would you hold back and not pee if you had too? Would you not drink water if there was water around and you were thirsty? It's all the same stuff for me.

I think your boyfriend makes too much of a fuss about sex as a sin. Seems like he is being miserable because of thinking about things he does in life as sins. He should stop that - I guess he would feel better.