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    Enigma1999's Avatar
    Enigma1999 Posts: 2,223, Reputation: 1077
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    #1

    Jun 15, 2010, 06:12 PM
    I have been bamboozled
    Okay, so I really don't know where or how to begin this. Please bare with me, for this is very hard for me to pour my heart out. I have been on this site for a while now and feel as if I have gotten close to some of you, and now I need your help.

    A little history here, I am 32 years old, divorced with two children. I was seeing a man (Mark) for a while now. I have mentioned him before in a previous thread. He is 37, also divorced with two children. I have known him for three years now. While I was ging through my divorce, Mark was there for me. We started as friends where we were setting up play dates for our children to get together and play, not to mention, he and I compared notes with our divorces'.

    Things started slow and was going great. We saw each other about three times a week which slowly became four then five. After a couple of months we started to date. That went really well. I thought at first that perhaps he could be a fling, but then I realized that I was falling in love with him. He too told me that he was falling in love with me. After a while of dating we decided to make love... That was fantastic! Things were going great after that. We saw each other almost every single day. We had the children play together, we shared things with each other that we didn't share with others. I fell in love with him. For months every thing was great! I met his parents and family and friends. Same with him.

    Then in March, my Grandmother had passed away. I had decided to take a train to Chicago. The day before I was supposed to leave, I realized that I was late. We were always careful, but I had to make sure. Well, I took the test and it came up that I was pregnant. OMG! I can't believe this is happening! I called Mark up to tell him, and he was stunned! He said, "please forgive me if I am quiet, I am just shocked!" I understand.

    The next day he drove me to the train station. On the way there, he took my hand in his and said," don't worry, it will be ok."

    I went to Chicago to deal with the death of my Grandmother. Mark and I spoke on the phone every night. He kept reasuring me that things would be OK.

    On the way back to Chicago, he called me while I was on the train, and said to me, " I have been doing some thinking, and I am not in love with you and I still love my ex!" ! My heart was broken. I cried the whole damn trip home!

    When I got back to Arizona, he and I got into contact and sat down at the kitchen table. He asked if I would have an abortion. Then he pretty much begged for it.

    I set up an appointment for an abortion a few days later. He came and picked me up to take me. I cried, begged, and pleaded with him. "Please, if you have any love or compassion for me, you wont make me do this!" He kept driving that stupid car of his. Finally, we get there, and I am crying so bad that the Doctor takes me in her office to talk with me. I take Mark into the hallway to ask him one last time, "Mark, look me in the eyes, do you really want to terminate this pregnancy?" He said yes. So I went back into the office and said the Doctor I'm not going trough with this. I left the office with him following me, when I told him, I don't care what he thought, and that I'm not going through with it! He grabbed me and started to cry and said, "I'm glad you didn't go through with it." ! I am proud of yself for sticking with what I believe in!

    Mark told me that he wanted to be in this baby's life. BULL S@#T! I am three months pregnant and he hasn't spoken to me in weeks!

    That's OK though, I will take care of this baby without his dumb a55!

    I feel damaged! I feel broken! I will never love again! I will never trust again!

    I don't know how he sleeps at night!

    I am not sure as to why I told my story... Perhaps seeking knowledge, perhaps to vent.

    Please forgive me for this long story.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #2

    Jun 15, 2010, 06:18 PM

    So when the baby is born, file for full custody, get child support and raise your child
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #3

    Jun 15, 2010, 06:24 PM

    I think you are very, very brave. If he is stupid enough to let someone like you slip through his hands, then he doesn't deserve you.

    Who knows.. he may just need time and if he loves you he'll be back. Can you forgive him? As I said before you did the right thing and I hope he does also.

    Believe me there are good men out there( although I think mine is the best) I really think that with a little time and patience he'll come back... Good Luck
    Enigma1999's Avatar
    Enigma1999 Posts: 2,223, Reputation: 1077
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    #4

    Jun 15, 2010, 06:32 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Kitkat22 View Post
    I think you are very, very brave. If he is stupid enough to let someone like you slip through his hands, then he doesn't deserve you.

    Who knows..he may just need time and if he loves you he'll be back. Can you forgive him? As I said before you did the right thing and I hope he does also.

    Believe me there are good men out there( although I think mine is the best) i really think that with a little time and patience he'll come back......Good Luck
    I believe that Mark is a very selfish person for doing this! Can I forgive him? Nope!

    I feel as if I did the right thing. I believe that every woman is entilted to their own decisions when it comes to abortion, for ME though, I am not about to use abortion as a form of birth control! I made this child and I will raise it too with or without his help.

    Thank you Kit for your kind words!
    friend4u178's Avatar
    friend4u178 Posts: 3,349, Reputation: 1584
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    #5

    Jun 15, 2010, 06:33 PM

    Damn Enigma I'm so sorry you have to go through this :(

    He did sound like a nice fellow from everything you've said about him , but he's obviously showed his true colours , and to do it after you fell pregnant is just damn low in my opinion. I suppose you just need to concentrate on the baby now and ride through the storm. There'll be many hurdles ahead I'm afraid :( I'm lost for words.

    I consider myself one of the many friends you've made on here and I'm here for you if you need someone to talk to.
    Enigma1999's Avatar
    Enigma1999 Posts: 2,223, Reputation: 1077
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    #6

    Jun 15, 2010, 06:37 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by friend4u178 View Post
    Damn Enigma I'm so sorry you have to go through this :(

    He did sound like a nice fellow from everything you've said about him , but he's obviously showed his true colours , and to do it after you fell pregnant is just damn low in my opinion. I suppose you just need to concentrate on the baby now and ride through the storm. There'll be many hurdles ahead I'm afraid :( I'm lost for words.

    I consider myself one of the many friends you've made on here and I'm here for you if you need someone to talk to.
    You are my friend! Thank you!

    He was very good... He played me so very well! I would have done anything for him! That is why my title is "I have been bamboozled".
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #7

    Jun 15, 2010, 06:37 PM
    Quote by Enigma,
    I believe that Mark is a very selfish person for doing this! Can I forgive him? Nope!

    I feel as if I did the right thing. I believe that every woman is entitled to their own decisions when it comes to abortion, for ME though, I am not about to use abortion as a form of birth control! I made this child and I will raise it too with or without his help.

    Thank you Kit for your kind words!

    I'm glad you are woman enough to keep the baby. What a joy that child will be. Everyone here will help you through this and you won't be sorry for your decision. He needs a good swift kick in the old family jewels.:eek:
    Enigma1999's Avatar
    Enigma1999 Posts: 2,223, Reputation: 1077
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    #8

    Jun 15, 2010, 07:11 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Kitkat22 View Post
    :QUOTE=Enigma1999;2395313]I believe that Mark is a very selfish person for doing this! Can I forgive him? Nope!

    I feel as if I did the right thing. I believe that every woman is entilted to their own decisions when it comes to abortion, for ME though, I am not about to use abortion as a form of birth control! I made this child and I will raise it too with or without his help.

    Thankyou Kit for your kind words!



    I'm glad you are woman enough to keep the baby. What a joy that child will be. Everyone here will help you through this and you won't be sorry for your decision. He needs a good swift kick in the old family jewels.:eek:[/QUOTE]

    Lol a swift kick somewhere!
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #9

    Jun 15, 2010, 07:13 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Enigma1999 View Post
    I'm glad you are woman enough to keep the baby. What a joy that child will be. Everyone here will help you through this and you won't be sorry for your decision. He needs a good swift kick in the old family jewels.:eek:
    Lol a swift kick somewhere![/QUOTE]



    I hope he knows someday what he's lost... that would be a real kick in the rear!:)
    Enigma1999's Avatar
    Enigma1999 Posts: 2,223, Reputation: 1077
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    #10

    Jun 15, 2010, 07:20 PM

    Well Kit, the way I see it, is that not knowing this child will be his loss.

    The fact that he has two children already and claims to have such a great love for them baffles me. He knows then, well you would think.

    I never pressured him after admitting he didn't love me. I had told him that you don't have to love me, marry me, or even be with me. Just be there for this child. That's all I ask. But no, he can't even seem to want to do that. Again, I don't know how he can sleep at night...
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #11

    Jun 15, 2010, 07:27 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Enigma1999 View Post
    Well Kit, the way I see it, is that not knowing this child will be his loss.

    The fact that he has two children already and claims to have such a great love for them baffles me. He knows then, well you would think.

    I never pressured him after admitting he didn't love me. I had told him that you don't have to love me, marry me, or even be with me. Just be there for this child. That's all I ask. But no, he can't even seem to want to do that. Again, I don't know how he can sleep at night...



    Gosh.. I know you must be feeling mad, sad and happy all at once. I despise men like him (God forgive me). They have fun playing but when something comes along like a little baby... they run away. Not all of them are like that.
    Don't get yourself to upset. It's his loss. I'd love to smack him right in the big smug face:mad:... Kit
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    positiveparent Posts: 1,136, Reputation: 291
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    #12

    Jun 15, 2010, 07:34 PM

    You did right by your child and that's commendable so many females take the abortion option, and couldn't care less, you though did and do care and for your unselfish decision you will be rewarded with an amazing child who will be the light of your life.

    Congratulations, you're having an angel...
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #13

    Jun 15, 2010, 07:43 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by positiveparent View Post
    You did right by your child and thats commendable so many females take the abortion option, and couldnt care less, you though did and do care and for your unselfish decision you will be rewarded with an amazing child who will be the light of your life.

    Congratulations, youre having an angel...



    So true. A sweet little angel!:)
    aimee_tt's Avatar
    aimee_tt Posts: 340, Reputation: 143
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    #14

    Jun 15, 2010, 07:44 PM

    Well all I can say is good riddens to a poor exucse of a human being.

    You may not be able to trust now but you will find someone one day.

    Just live life and raise this child to be nothing like its father...

    I wouldn't worry about whether he is going to be there for your child... I doubt he is mature enough to raise the child.

    I hope everything goes well... I hope this child turns out to be a supermodel or rockstar or athlete and shows his father what he missed out on!
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #15

    Jun 15, 2010, 07:46 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by aimee_tt View Post
    Well all i can say is good riddens to a poor exucse of a human being.

    You may not be able to trust now but you will find someone one day.

    Just live life and raise this child to be nothing like its father...

    I wouldnt worry about wether he is going to be there for your child... I doubt he is mature enough to raise the child.

    I hope everything goes well... I hope this child turns out to be a supermodel or rockstar or athlete and shows his father what he missed out on!
    You go girl... :)
    Enigma1999's Avatar
    Enigma1999 Posts: 2,223, Reputation: 1077
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    #16

    Jun 15, 2010, 07:55 PM

    You guys are great! I thank you.

    Did you know he had the nerve to ask me a few weeks ago, "Did I blow it with you, Jaclyn?" Ummm you think?

    He also said, "If it's a girl, I hope she looks like you....actually, I hope she doesn't, then I'm going to have problems." I said, "PFFFT, if it's a boy, I hope he doesn't act like YOU!"

    Hopeless, just hopeless!
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #17

    Jun 15, 2010, 08:01 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Enigma1999 View Post
    You guys are great! I thank you.

    Did you know he had the nerve to ask me a few weeks ago, "Did I blow it with you, Jaclyn?" Ummm ya think?!

    He also said, "If it's a girl, I hope she looks like you....actually, I hope she doesn't, then I'm going to have problems." I said, "PFFFT, if it's a boy, I hope he doesn't act like YOU!"

    Hopeless, just hopeless!


    Just say "don't worry about it .You're never going to see it" Then say "Blow it is a mild word for what you did"... "Now Buzz off"... Just my opinion. Bless your heart..
    aimee_tt's Avatar
    aimee_tt Posts: 340, Reputation: 143
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    #18

    Jun 15, 2010, 08:20 PM

    Yeah no matter who it looks like.. It won't be anything like him. I hope for your sake it doesn't look like him.

    Did he blow it... Is he that stupid? WOW
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #19

    Jun 15, 2010, 08:41 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by aimee_tt View Post
    Yeah no matter who it looks like.. It wont be anything like him. I hope for your sake it doesnt look like him.

    Did he blow it... Is he that stupid? WOW
    Yeah... he should wear a shirt with "I"M A STUPID JERK" written on it. That's and idea... a great idea if I say so myself.:D
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #20

    Jun 15, 2010, 08:42 PM

    Enigma, you vent away dear.

    I consider you a friend, and I really wish I could be there with your right now, holding your hand, driving to Marks house, beating the snot out of him. Oops... was that out loud? :eek:

    I'm a firm believer that what comes around goes around. He'll get his, I just hope you get to see it happen.

    Boy am I vindictive. Hubby better never scorn me. ;)

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