[Solitude]

Every year. I have been buying my foster siblings' chidlren's presents. They never called to say thank you or buy any gifts for my children. When I come to visit my foster mother, they are nice to my children. However, I never send a christmas card to me as well. My foster mother is wonderful, she always buys gifts for my children for xmas and their birthday. I feel obligation to buy her grandchildren's presents.

I feel odd if I don not sent the presents to her grandchildren. How should I approach this topic for next year. I already brought for this year.

Any tips I would greatly appreciate.

[shygrneyzs]

I do not think you should feel any obligation to give a present. A present is not a term of obligation but an act done in the spirit of sharing. We all receive too much pressure to run out and buy things for people who may never even care about the giver or the gift. And yes, I know that giving does not depend on what we get in return but... there are times...

Instead of buying presents next year, why not announce to everyone that next year you are giving a donation to a charity such as Salvation Army, Toys For Tots, etc. If you do not have the funds, give your time as a volunteer during the holidays. Challenge your foster siblings to do the same. You will feel better and maybe they will find that the spirit of Christmas does not come under the tree.

You can do Christmas gifts on the cheap too - homemade things like jams or jellies, cookies, those mix in a jar treats, etc. If you have some favorite Christmas music, make a copy of it and give that CD mix to someone. You could make a coupon book of various things such as babysitting for a couple hours, a home cooked meal, etc. Just do not pressure yourself anymore.

Best of all to you.

[chuff]

With all due respect are you sure that they could afford to purchase presents for you?