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    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #1

    Jun 8, 2010, 07:20 PM
    What I find offensive
    Not that it wasn't bad enough to refer to her behavior - and that of her friends - as "retarded" now she's explained that she uses that term because she (and her friends) act "retarded."

    This is certainly a trigger for me. I realize the OP is 14 but at what point do people become sensitive to offending other people?

    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/teens/...nd-477285.html
    Clough's Avatar
    Clough Posts: 26,677, Reputation: 1649
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    #2

    Jun 8, 2010, 07:29 PM
    Hi, Judy!

    A agree with you and I posted on that thread.

    Thanks!
    JoeCanada76's Avatar
    JoeCanada76 Posts: 6,669, Reputation: 1707
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    #3

    Jun 8, 2010, 07:32 PM

    I agree, there are certain words that are much more highly offensive then others.

    Although I can probably say with a lot of honestly that a lot of people use that term for themselves but not meaning anything really truly bad about it.

    At the same time others need to be made aware of how offensive words can be. I honestly do not think a lot of people realize how much a word can effect others even just used for themselves or their friends.

    That specific word your talking about. Is a derogatory term, and not been used in a very nice way in the past.

    I think it takes time. I honestly did not react as strongly as you, and not sure how many people have. Now I think it would be a lot different if there was somebody With Down-syndrome and this person was calling that person a ----------. That it is defiantly meant to be degrading and hurtful.

    In her posts that context was used different. Was not towards a person with a disability.

    There are many words I do not like to hear. Words that have to do with racism which pisses me right off because I do not think racism should exist today with anybody.

    The word you mention I do not like either. Along with stupid, dumb, hate , etc... I do not want to get into a war about words though.

    Those are my thoughts about the girl and in general.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #4

    Jun 8, 2010, 07:50 PM
    Since at 14 she can't write or spell her way out of a paper bag, I'm wondering how high up she herself really is on the food chain.
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #5

    Jun 8, 2010, 07:50 PM

    That word hurts parents who have a child with a disability and it offends me because I worked with
    Handicapped children and children with multiple mental issues.

    I have watched parents smile and nearly cry when they see that child learn to count or walk or eat without help.

    Yes it offends me and I hope it offends anyone who reads this.
    This young "lady" needs to stop calling her mom overweight and referring to herself and her friends as retarded.

    She did apologize and maybe she'll stop this behavior.
    Just Dahlia's Avatar
    Just Dahlia Posts: 2,155, Reputation: 445
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    #6

    Jun 9, 2010, 12:12 PM
    No excuses for that 14 year old, her parents should have taught her better, or for now, just watching TV or reading the paper should have taught her better.

    But, when I was young, I believe I remember everyone using 'Retard' or 'don't act like a 'retard' or saying 'Duh' or 'Are you retarded?'

    At that point I don't think any of us even made the connection. I think it was being used instead of Silly or Stupid. I could be wrong, maybe they knew and I was the only one who didn't. At that point in my life I don't think I had ever met or seen a person with disabilities.

    Sometimes words even bad words stick with you. About 30 years ago I caught myself about to say "Duh" to someone and stopped myself realizing the connection. I still to this day say it in my brain when some one asks me a stupid question. It will probably never get out of my head.

    Yes, I find it offensive, but more ignorant.
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #7

    Jun 9, 2010, 12:19 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Just Dahlia View Post
    No excuses for that 14 year old, her parents should have taught her better, or for now, just watching TV or reading the paper should have taught her better.

    But, when I was young, I believe I remember everyone using 'Retard' or 'don't act like a 'retard' or saying 'Duh' or 'Are you retarded?'

    At that point I don't think any of us even made the connection. I think it was being used instead of Silly or Stupid. I could be wrong, maybe they knew and I was the only one who didn't. At that point in my life I don't think I had ever met or seen a person with disabilities.

    Sometimes words even bad words stick with you. About 30 years ago I caught myself about to say "Duh" to someone and stopped myself realizing the connection. I still to this day say it in my brain when some one asks me a stupid question. It will probably never get out of my head.

    Yes, I find it offensive, but more ignorant.



    I think your response was spot on. I agree.
    cdad's Avatar
    cdad Posts: 12,700, Reputation: 1438
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    #8

    Jun 9, 2010, 03:30 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Just Dahlia View Post
    No excuses for that 14 year old, her parents should have taught her better, or for now, just watching TV or reading the paper should have taught her better.

    But, when I was young, I believe I remember everyone using 'Retard' or 'don't act like a 'retard' or saying 'Duh' or 'Are you retarded?'

    At that point I don't think any of us even made the connection. I think it was being used instead of Silly or Stupid. I could be wrong, maybe they knew and I was the only one who didn't. At that point in my life I don't think I had ever met or seen a person with disabilities.

    Sometimes words even bad words stick with you. About 30 years ago I caught myself about to say "Duh" to someone and stopped myself realizing the connection. I still to this day say it in my brain when some one asks me a stupid question. It will probably never get out of my head.

    Yes, I find it offensive, but more ignorant.

    Im not sure how old you are but from the sounds of it when you were using it back then it was still part of the english language. In today's times it has been banned from use. So the kids have picked it up along with other terms and twisted them. Listen to young people talk. When they say something is "gay" it doesn't refer to sexual orientation. What bothers me about the OP of the other thread is that she can't see that she IS mocking those that may be challenged. To use her words.. We walk around weird and dance. She sees no connection whatsoever. Also to proclaim that they don't like to use punctuation. Give me a break. And by the way. I don't find "duh" offensive because it actually means your having a brain fart at the moment.
    Just Dahlia's Avatar
    Just Dahlia Posts: 2,155, Reputation: 445
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    #9

    Jun 9, 2010, 04:27 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by califdadof3 View Post
    Im not sure how old you are but from the sounds of it when you were using it back then it was still part of the english language. In todays times it has been banned from use. So the kids have picked it up along with other terms and twisted them. Listen to young people talk. When they say something is "gay" it doesnt refer to sexual orientation. What bothers me about the OP of the other thread is that she can't see that she IS mocking those that may be challenged. To use her words .. We walk around weird and dance. She sees no connection whatsoever. Also to proclaim that they dont like to use punctuation. Give me a break. And by the way. I dont find "duh" offensive because it actually means your having a brain fart at the moment.


    Duh was originated from kids lightly hitting their upper chests with the side of their hands (the thumb part) as if mimicking. It makes me sick that I used to do that, not really knowing what I was doing.

    I am a Christmas baby from 1959 and seen a little too much of this world to deal with.:)
    cdad's Avatar
    cdad Posts: 12,700, Reputation: 1438
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    #10

    Jun 9, 2010, 04:35 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Just Dahlia View Post
    [/B]

    Duh was originated from kids lightly hitting their upper chests with the side of their hands (the thumb part) as if mimicking. It makes me sick that I used to do that, not really knowing what I was doing.

    I am a Christmas baby from 1959 and seen a little too much of this world to deal with.:)
    I never heard of it in that usage. This is how I see the word.

    duh - Dictionary definition and pronunciation - Yahoo! Education

    How something is so obvious.
    Just Dahlia's Avatar
    Just Dahlia Posts: 2,155, Reputation: 445
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    #11

    Jun 9, 2010, 04:56 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by califdadof3 View Post
    I never heard of it in that usage. This is how I see the word.

    duh - Dictionary definition and pronunciation - Yahoo! Education

    How something is so obvious.
    As they said 'slow witted' I think it was more in the hand gesture... and of course that won't leave my brain:)
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #12

    Jun 9, 2010, 05:32 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Just Dahlia View Post
    as they said 'slow witted' I think it was more in the hand gesture...and of course that won't leave my brain:)
    I know JD and I agree... "retarded is unacceptable".
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #13

    Jun 13, 2010, 10:18 AM

    - And I find that the OP used it in a derogatory way. "Acting like ..."

    And when corrected she didn't see the problem.

    No excuse.
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #14

    Jun 13, 2010, 10:25 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by JudyKayTee View Post
    - And I find that the OP used it in a derogatory way. "Acting like ..."

    And when corrected she didn't see the problem.

    No excuse.



    That word is offensive to anyone who has a heart and a brain.
    Steph4353's Avatar
    Steph4353 Posts: 24, Reputation: 4
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    #15

    Aug 13, 2012, 01:51 PM
    Wow, that's really immature. I know how much it hurts when people say those things because I have relatives that are mentally handicapped. She might not ever comprehend the gravity of that word. I know adults around me that use that word.

    I am strongly against those kinds of words. I will cringe if I hear the word 'faggot' used to describe someone, as a joke or in seriousness. Or when someone says "That's gay". They might not mean any offense to homosexuals, yet the offense comes anyway.

    This girl may be older than me physically, but is obviously less mature than I. She sounds like an 8 year old that blurts anything, not knowing that it isn't OK.

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