[elrp]

I really need your opinion on something, I'm really confused.

I was going out with this guy, Toby, for 10 months. I finished it about 3 months ago because of a few things. I'm only 16 and I think 10 months is too long to be in a relationship for, I'm young once and it was getting boring. Also, he was really starting to piss me, I was beginning to hate being around him. Also, since we've broken up I realised that he was the reason I felt so bad. I've had a pretty rough time the past year and thought it was just due to me being a bit ed up, but now we've broken up I feel so happy and I can now see how he was making me feel bad. When I thought he was helping me, he was making it worse.

When Toby and I broke up he took it pretty bad. For about a month he was crying everyday phoning me up. I couldn't take it, I was just like get over it! About a month ago me and Toby's friend, Ross, (Not close friend, but friend none the less) started getting close and a bit flirty. I didn't really think it would lead to anything because I didn't think he'd like me and I knew I liked him but also knew I didn't want another boyfriend - especially so soon.

He told me he liked me, and I told him I liked him too. It was my friends birthday party and he ended up walking me home. I was pretty pissed but I knew what I was doing. So we kissed a few times and I was feeling tons happier in comparison to how I felt around Christmas time.

We met up every few days and were getting closer until last week he asked me out. I wasn't sure because I didn't want a boyfriend but I said yes because we agreed neither of us wanted anything serious and it was just cool to hang out. We decided to keep this quiet because Toby's still not over it and we didn't want other people getting involved.

Ross text me last night saying he couldn't do it anymore because he felt too bad on Toby. I felt a bit gutted but understood where he was coming from and was willing to wait until Toby had cooled off a bit. This was at about 10pm.

I got a phone call from Toby at about 1am telling me Ross had just kissed his ex, Amy. Now, where to start with Amy... excuse my language, but I really ing hate that . When I was with Toby she tried to kiss him and told him she loved him, 3 times. She's also slagged me off about things which she has no idea about, just basing it on gossip and once she said "I would have slapped her!" about me, which if she even dared to say to my face, I would have kicked the out of her. So, you get the idea. She's the one person I really, really, really hate. I was like what the heck this is not happened.

So we argued last night. Of course I didn't really want him to pull anyone but I would have been cool with it. It's just the fact it's her. He didn't even give me the respect, as a friend, not to do that. He was slefish and wanted to hurt her in the way she hurt him when she cheated on him - which is why they consequently broke up. I was just so pissed off, and hurt.

A few of Ross's friends have turned against him because they can't see how he could do that to Toby. Clearly, these types of friends aren't worth having. One guy had a go at me because he couldn't understand why I done it, but that's mainly because he likes Amy and is good friends with Toby. I've got my friends on my side, and the few of Ross's/Toby's friends on my side that I actually care about so everyone else can off really. I won't let them treat Ross like because they have no right.

So here is where the dilemma lies. Ross has said he's sorry, many times. He's told me it's the biggest mistake he's ever made and he'll awlays regret it. He doesn't even know why he done it. He said there's a lot of things Amy knows about him, which I don't, and she used it against him... but he wouldn't go into much detail about that. He also said he really likes me and the though of him having ed it all up over a kiss, which was mainly for revenge, is making him hate himself.

I really don't know what to do. As much as I should be angry at him... I'm not anymore. I don't stay angry at people (apart from Amy) because there's more important stuff in life. My nan died recently and it really put things in perspective, it made me realise that all these little things, like him kissing another girl, are so irrelevant. And it's true.I tend to think of things on a much larger scale.

I saw Ross at a party tonight and we went outside to talk. He said please just punch me or hit me or something because I really deserve it for hurting you. As much as I wanted to do that last night, I just wanted to hug him. Which, I know, sounds so ed up. But I still like him. I know I shouldn't but I can't help it. I'm just really confused.

Can anyone help, please?

By the way, sorry it's such a long story. I had to make it as clear as possible. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[confused2504]

Hey,

You explained your story very well. I mean you told the whole story so I guess it gives us the readers a better understanding of what's happening.

Personally I think this Ross guy is very upset and sorry and I think you should give him his second chance. I think he deserves it. Make it very clear that his type of behaviour (kissing Amy) will NEVER ever be tolerated again, and you are giving this chance for him to prove how much he wants you.

From what you have said I think you are good together and have a mutual understanding.

Look I know its hard for a guy when you have a circle of friends that are close. Personally I wouldn't do anything with my ex's friends, but as you said he wasn't a great friend of Toby's so I think you both shouldn't worry about what other people say. You can't always help who you are attracted to.

I think your solution is quite easy, be with Ross and don't worry about what out siders say. Cos at the end of the day, it will be what's important to you both and how you treat each other. No one else has the right to tell you what to do with your love life except you. And if people don't agree with it, then that's their bad luck, because you have to make yourself happy.

Ross makes you happy, so be with him and enjoy all that life has to offer. Good Luck!

[elrp]

Thank you so much :)

I'm going to take your advice and see how things go with Ross. Toby isn't at school any more so it's not like I'm rubbing it in his face or anything like that. It's been 3 months and he should respect me enough to let me make my own decisions and allow me to move on.

Thanks again

[guylawrenz]

Life is simply... think simple, don't be so complicated about those relationship stuff... makes u sick... just relax... hang out with other friend, it's time to forgive and forget... if lose a guy/girl, just find a new one.. no need to be so complicated... it only makes u sad... start a new relationship with others... the world is big.. maybe u can find a better guy/girl... don't give up..