[kabooles]

So I have been married over five years. I love my husband, we get along well and are happy overall. I have never before had even an inkling of an attraction to a female before. In fact, the thought of it often disgusted me.

Anyway... somehow I have developed a huge "crush" on my new female gym instructor! I am totally infatuated. I'm not sure how it came about. She is crazy and saucy and is always joking with everyone, me included.

She has made blatant sexual comments to me, "joking"(?). I don't know if it is just my imagination or if she does actually find me attractive in a sexual way as well. For instance, she said out of the blue, about me, in front of a group of us girls "you could sure see her legs wrapped around your neck couldn't you"! I don't know if my friends picked up on this? What was that? I will admit it excited me. I wouldn't even know how to go about asking them what they thought about it because they would be shocked to think it excited me!) Another day we were all joking around and she said " Come on, don't stop (we were working out of course), you don't want me to spank you," or something like that, and I said, "I'd like that". So she actually spanked me! Is that crossing the line? I know one of my friends was a little surprised. So, does she just know I can take a joke or is there a possibiility it could mean more on her part?

She is basically on my mind all the time. I am having serious sexual fantasies about her and me ALL THE TIME. She of course is married and has children as well. That is why I think I'm just being silly to think anything of anything. I am so shocked that I feel this way. I don't even know where I want this to go. Could it be just a silly crush on someone that I really aspire to, or could I be bisexual?

One last thing, I have never been an attention seeker and do not dress or behave as to attract negative attention.

[Fr_Chuck]

Bi sexual, lesbian, or straight, it does not matter, you are married and do not need to be putting yourself in those positions.

Being bi does not give you a license to cheat, so you have no more right to consider this, than consider cheating with the man next door.

If you can't get her out of your mind, you may want to change gyms

[lostsheep]

Honestly I think that you should talk to her. If your married you shouldn't cheat but you should discuss this new infatuation with your husband. You never know he may actually like that :D. I was in this situation... I never liked women and in the past 3 years I like some. Not all women just a select few I find attractive. I told my bpoyfriend... hes thrilled! You just have to make boundaries with your husband what he can respect and what he cant. You shouldn't deny yourself though... you only live once after all.

[neverme]

Thing is though, open this door, even by discussion with your husband and it will be very hard to control or close.

Think long and hard before you do anything.

Lastly, being bisexual is not a licence to cheat, nor does it imply a wish to.

All the best.

[Fr_Chuck]

Yes, bi sexual merely means that you are attracted to and could have desires to have sex with people of either sex.

So when dating, before you commit you can date either. It is when you decide to have a committed relationship with either, male or female, you committ, and the consideration of an affair with either is just not a moral choice.

[kabooles]

I actually have told my husband and he says it is "cute". But I feel like he has thought about it more and now feels a little threatened. I guess I have my answer - cheating is cheating!

[Catsmine]

The other possibility is that this woman is just a natural flirt, even the spanking part. You do need to talk to her one on one and explain that you're MARRIED and therefore off limits. If that doesn't put her off, bring hubby to the gym a few times.

[supercat]

You only live once.. Go for it!!

[Cat1864]

You only live once.. Go for it!!!!!

Are you seriously telling a married woman to get involved with someone outside her marriage?

Did you read the whole thread including her last post?

[talaniman]

I think your crush/attraction comes more from admiration, and awe, that she is doing what you wish you could be bold, and sassy. There is nothing to say she is even flirting to be honest, and as you get use to it, I doubt you even think about her as much.

Whatever the attraction/crush, stay within the boundaries of good behavior is the wisest course of action.

Your antics at workout class are no different than guys in a locker room, goofing off!

Probably just a silly crush, one we all get from time to time.

[KBC]

I actually have told my husband and he says it is "cute". But I feel like he has thought about it more and now feels a little threatened. I guess I have my answer - cheating is cheating!

Yes,I can see him being uncomfortable with it.. I went through this early on in my marriage, the insecurity I felt during the ENTIRE marriage was partly based on this tendency of hers.

Perhaps you can lay this to rest and keep things in the open with him,communications about ANY issues in a marriage are paramount,this issue hit this man in a very sensitive area,my sense of security and trust.. big issues with the ex-wife and me.

I hope things can even out again for you two:)