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rex123 · Jun 1, 2010, 04:24 PM

Hey, everyone. Wish I could say I'm doin' all right, but right now... Well I just can't.:( For years I've tried my best coping with having to live with people around me who abuse drugs and acohol, and I'm fed up. I can't do it anymore. Its really hard because of the drugs and the alcohol being used around me, I'm pretty messed up. You see I can't stand to be around people who do drugs or drink, hell I can't even be around people who talk about drinking. And of course who would want to hang out with someone like me, who doesn't let people talk about those things around them, I only have a few friends because of this.

Because of my inability to be around people who drink, I can't go to parties, to family get-togethers, I'm even going to miss my prom and grad party because of it. So all these things that normal kids my age do, I simply can't. And I just feel so messed up. When I ask people not to talk about drinking and drugs around me they usually act as if I'm a freak, but they just don't understand. My mom keeps telling me that there are people like me who have been affected by peoples addictions, and I was just wondering if there was some sort of site for people like me, where I can go and meet others affected by people's addictions?

Everyday I go to school is a struggle, I hear kids talking about getting stoned, and hammered and it just pisses me off so much, because those kids don't know what its like to live with people who have these addictions, they don't know what its like to be on the receiving side of them, and so they think its all a joke. And it really hurts me because I'll be sitting in class and my friends will start talking about getting drunk and they know I don't like it when they talk about it around me, but yet they don't care, it makes me feel like they just don't respect me.

Jake2008 · Jun 1, 2010, 06:23 PM

I can assure you you are not alone. There is nothing worse than being an abstainer, and feeling unwelcome, or uncomfortable in their presence.

Who are you referring to 'all around you' that drink and do drugs. Is this your peer group, or in your own home? Have you had addiction issues yourself, or any problems with drugs/alcohol?

Clearly you have been affected by those around you enough that you have avoided being in social situations, going to parties, hanging out with friends etc. except the few who you are comfortable with. To have such a strong reaction to even the mention of the word alcohol, I have to ask you- what have your experiences been like that has caused you to turn away from social situations, and view your living situation as such a day to day struggle.

And yes, there is help for you, and before I get into that, I'm hoping you can provide a little more information.

Hang in there.

KBC · Jun 2, 2010, 01:59 AM

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/addict...es-245048.html

Is this service no longer available to you?

rex123 · Jun 2, 2010, 03:11 AM

Originally Posted by Jake2008

I can assure you you are not alone. There is nothing worse than being an abstainer, and feeling unwelcome, or uncomfortable in their presence.

Who are you referring to 'all around you' that drink and do drugs. Is this your peer group, or in your own home? Have you had addiction issues yourself, or any problems with drugs/alcohol?

Clearly you have been affected by those around you enough that you have avoided being in social situations, going to parties, hanging out with friends etc., except the few who you are comfortable with. To have such a strong reaction to even the mention of the word alcohol, I have to ask you- what have your experiences been like that has caused you to turn away from social situations, and view your living situation as such a day to day struggle.

And yes, there is help for you, and before I get into that, I'm hoping you can provide a little more information.

Hang in there.

The people with the addictions are in my home, and my family. I haven't had any addictions as right now I'm 17 and have never touched drugs nor alcohol. Both of these substances have completely torn my family apart.

I was hoping to talk to someone, as next year I have been accepted to college to become and Addcition's Counsellor.

rex123 · Jun 2, 2010, 03:13 AM

Originally Posted by KBC

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/addict...es-245048.html

Is this service no longer available to you?

I'm not really sure, I haven't really talked to my mom about going to addiction services for meetings. But I'm thinking now I probably should let go of my pride and go and talk to someone.

DrBill100 · Jun 2, 2010, 06:14 AM

Originally Posted by rex123

The people with the addictions are in my home, and my family. I haven't had any addictions as right now I'm 17 and have never touched drugs nor alcohol. Both of these substances have completely torn my family apart.

I was hoping to talk to someone, as next year I have been accepted to college to become and Addcition's Counsellor.

It sounds like you are looking for Alateen. Alanon / Alateen are people whose lives are effected by addictions. There will be a group near to you. Here is the link to their site so you can decide for yourself.

Welcome to Al-Anon and Alateen

Jake2008 · Jun 2, 2010, 06:21 AM

I agree 100%.

If you expect to become an Addiction Counsellor, much of your success is going to be learning from experts in the field. And if you are planning to be an expert yourself, you would be wise to deal with the situation with the addictions in your family, and have some professional guidance, and assistance in learning how to accept and understand why you not only have little or no control over them, but how you can be strong, and able to deal with life without the guilt, and hardship of living with those with addictions.

There are many options for you. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is my area of expertise, and if you do a little research on it, you will get a feel for whether it is something that may help you.

It is important to not drag the past into the future, and I think that's the bottom line. You cannot change the circumstances of where you are, but you can certainly plan your future in a healthy, productive way. A big part of success will be you taking the steps to speak with someone, to give you a point of view and the tools you need to do that.

It sounds like you're breaking the mould here, and as you probably know, family cycles tend to repeat themselves over their history. Don't let this happen to you.

I hope that you have great success with talking to someone. You will be in a much better place if you seek out some guidance.

fuzznuttski · Jul 21, 2010, 08:10 PM

I know I'm a little late in responding, but finding a group of people whose lives are adversely affected by others' use is just what you need. Alateen/Al-Anon is a great way to met others w/ similar situations. Realize that you can't save others, even though they may be family, is a tough thing to swallow. If you don't try to save yourself, no one will do it for you. If possible, try to hookup w/ a counselor or a priest to discuss your feelings. Don't hold them in. That you had the courage to open up online is a call for help. Continue... God Bless

beachloverjohn · Sep 1, 2010, 02:13 PM

You are a brave young person. And your future plans are to be commended. In the mean time, stay strong and stick to your convictions. Some of the most honored people in history were those that stood alone against the majority, and were persecuted for their beliefs. You are to be admired for taking a stand, and you are an individual who leads, not follows like most people who are just sheep.

answerme_tender · Sep 10, 2010, 09:10 AM

I admire that your wanting to turn your experience into something that help others in the future. Getting counsiling will help you not feel so alone with your struggles and it will help you learn to deal with your anger with having to go through this in first place. Remember you can't help others with their addictions, when you can't go beyond seeing red, when someone talks about drinking, getting high. Calmness may seem like a mute word, but to someone with an addiction it can make difference in a choice they need to make. I really wish you the very best, and stongly believe you will make a difference in lives!!

jmjoseph · Sep 10, 2010, 09:24 AM

Alanon teaches you that you are responsible for yourself, only. They tell you to get a Hula Hoop, lay it on the floor, and stand in the center. You say to yourself "I am responsible for everything INSIDE this circle, everything OUTSIDE of it, I cannot control ".

Please don't consider it something to be "ashamed" of. There are MILLIONS of people in your position.

I am an alcoholic/addict, yet in full recovery(19 months). My wife goes to Alanon. It saved not only HER sanity, but OUR marriage. Our life is wonderful again.

Please go. It's anonymous, worldwide, and completely free.

God bless the still suffering alcoholic/addict. And their friends and family. That includes you.