[Kimenlo]

Hello,

I'll appreciate an answer if possible, ASAP.

I live in my family home. I've been back here raising my family for the last 17 years. My neighbor, Noni, is the same lady who lived next door since my folks and family moved in in 1961. I've known and loved her since I was 5 years old.
Noni's children are giving her a 90th birthday party for her on Dec. 26th at a fancy (expensive) local restaurant.
When I last visited with her she asked if I was coming to her birthday party. I replied, '"Am I invited?" She said, "I don't know, I'm not the one planning it." Her caregiver then said, "Yes, you are, I know you are."
Well, I've not received an invitation or any notification of the details.
My best friend, Annie, her youngest, who lives out of the area and is not involved in the planning, told me of the details. Up until yesterday, I did not tell her of my conversation with her mom. I've asked her not to say anything.
QUESTION~~~Now... do I ask Noni's oldest son or daughter if it's OK for my husband and I to drop in at the restaurant for a few minutes?
Or, could I ask to go 'Dutch'?
Or, ask the caregiver what happened?
Or, do I bite the bullet, do nothing and miss this lovely opportunity to honor a very dear woman whom I think of as a second mom?

I surely appreciate your help!

Many thanks and blessings.

From,

Kim

[s2tp]

It sounds to me like you should have a golden ticket... you are obviously close with her and the whole family... they are probably expecting you to be there, but maybe they are over looking you cause you are like 'one of the family' and they may be over whelmed with the planning or other things.

I would ask a round about question to Annie... like what kind of gift to get her... or ask if invitations have been sent... something about the planning to bring the subject up, but not so obvious... maybe she will get the clue and realize you doint know if your invited or not.. My best guess is that you are just One of them... you know? Oh I know maybe ask how many seats are reserved... and that can lead into asking about your hudband going.

Do you talk to the oldest children much? Is it possible they have over looked you? I would really hope not since you seem so close to this woman... but its possible they don't see the closeness as Annie and Noni do. If Annie is your best friend you can always ask 'is this a family-only thing or can me and my husband come by with our gift' this will prompt her to talk to her older siblings about you being invited... and she will probably ensure you have a seat..
You definitely don't want to not go... this sounds like a really special time, and you will always regret not going.

Best of luck, let us know what happens!

[ordinaryguy]

Up until yesterday, I did not tell her of my conversation with her mom. I've asked her not to say anything.

Why did you ask her not to say anything? If she's the one you're closest to, why not ask her to discuss it with her siblings and let you know? Either way, you can make sure Noni knows how much you love her. That's the important thing.

[valinors_sorrow]

Go and act as if you are invited, since you were. Now is not the time to stand on formality. If it comes up, let the ones planning the party know that you didn't think they would forgive themselves if their oversight kept you away. I am certain they will be most gracious for your forgiving nature. It is after all about Noni and what she wants. If that is too bold for you, contact the party hosts and ask if its possible to be included on the basis of your conversation with Noni and I am sure they will rush to include you. Any good host would be.

[starsbooty]

Ask who ever is planning it.. if you love her like you say and she loves you I'm sure if you didn't go she would be asking where you were...