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abigail008 · May 22, 2010, 04:40 PM

My best friend broke up with this guy 1 year and 6 months ago. She broke up with him before they reached 1 month and got back with her ex-boyfriend. I was there when she cheated with him.

I fell in love with him this summer, he is a great guy and I can't understand why my friend broke up with him. When I told my friend that I am dating him, she said it was okay. But after a week or two, she's not talking to me. She said that being with her ex is awkward and that it was not good dating a best friend's ex boyfriend.

I hate this feeling, I cannot be happy if I know that I have let someone down.I love my boyfriend, actually he is my first one. And were breaking up because of her, the final decision is mine but I really need help and advices.My best friend and boyfriend are both important to me so I am really having a hard time. Thank you guys

Sayurye · May 22, 2010, 05:48 PM

If your friend is thinking so much about her own happiness, and not your's maybe you should get a new BFF. This flaw will show up in other places in your relationship with her.
But don't be hasty, give it a lot of thought. The answer could present itself.

Jeha · May 22, 2010, 09:12 PM

Also talk to her and ask her if she fells that she can get over this, plus how old are u, u sound young if so then you need not fight or not talk over something so common as this

abigail008 · May 23, 2010, 08:08 AM

I'm turning 20, and she's 21. I don't want to fight it, but she is telling people that I'm a fake.

Cat1864 · May 23, 2010, 09:08 AM

Originally Posted by abigail008

im turning 20, and she's 21. I don't want to fight it, but she is telling people that im a fake.

If that is the way she is, maybe you need to expand your group of friends and let her take a backseat. If she can't be happy for her friend, then she isn't being a friend.

She is old enough to understand that dating a guy for a month does not give her the right to decide who he dates for the rest of his life. Being a friend does not mean you give up the right to be happy.

It would be very different if he left her for you or they dated for a long time, then there could be questions about why he is dating her friend. However, those aren't the case. She gave him up after less than a month and it was a while before you got involved with him.

Be happy. Live your own life. Good luck.

abigail008 · May 23, 2010, 03:39 PM

Originally Posted by Cat1864

If that is the way she is, maybe you need to expand your group of friends and let her take a backseat. If she can't be happy for her friend, then she isn't being a friend.

She is old enough to understand that dating a guy for a month does not give her the right to decide who he dates for the rest of his life. Being a friend does not mean you give up the right to be happy.

It would be very different if he left her for you or they dated for a long time, then there could be questions about why he is dating her friend. However, those aren't the case. She gave him up after less than a month and it was a while before you got involved with him.

Be happy. Live your own life. Good luck.

Thank you very much. You understood me.. Its just that I am having a hard time being happy if I know that I had let someone down.

Devorameira · May 23, 2010, 03:52 PM

I think your girlfriend is acting childish. It would be different if they had been involved in a long term relationship or if they had only recently broke up.

If you really care for him, I'd just keep seeing him.

As for her, she doesn't really seem to be much of a friend to start with, so your loss would be minimal.

friend4u178 · May 23, 2010, 05:43 PM

Originally Posted by abigail008

thank you very much. you understood me..Its just that I am having a hard time being happy if i know that I had let someone down.

You haven't let anybody down , she has , by not accepting that you have a right to be happy too , and causing a rift in your friendship over something that she ended over a year ago.

She decided she didn't want him after only a month , in my opinion it's her problem if she has an issue with it now.

talaniman · May 23, 2010, 06:39 PM

I would question a friend who tells others you're a fake, while its okay for her to cheat. If those are your friends, then you need new ones so enjoy your first boyfriend, and leave the real fake alone.

Cat1864 · May 24, 2010, 05:32 AM

Originally Posted by abigail008

thank you very much. you understood me..Its just that I am having a hard time being happy if i know that I had let someone down.

It seems to me that she let you down. Does she have a habit of wanting everything to go her way or she starts throwing temper tantrums?

I hope you and your boyfriend have great and lasting relationship for as long as you both want it.:)

jmjoseph · May 24, 2010, 05:46 AM

She dated this guy for less than 30 days. She not only broke up with him over 540 days ago, she actually CHEATED on him, and cast him aside. Now she has a problem with you dating him, and she is calling YOU a fake? Look who's talking. She has "fake" feelings for someone who she "threw away". She is not a "friend". We have names for girls like this down here. And being a gentleman, I'll let you fill in the blank.

You go enjoy your relationship with this guy, and learn to ignore the ignorant.

Life is too short to let weak minded, hateful people ruin your happiness.

Kitkat22 · May 24, 2010, 05:46 AM

Rule number one.. Never date an ex boyfriend who use to date your best friend. That is a recipe for a lot of hurt feelings.

Since you have already started dating him.. then I suppose there's no chance you and the ex friend will ever be close again.

Tell her how you feel and clear the air. You're old enough to know what you want and so is she.

I think she maybe called you a fake because she is hurt. I wish you good luck young lady and happiness. Who knows.. someday you two may be best friends again...

She broke up with him and she is probably jealous. You haven't let anyone down, so get past her name calling. You seem to be a very nice girl and it's refreshing to hear someone who truly cares about a friends feelings.

I think you are truly a nice person.. and I wish you and your boyfriend all the luck... Kit

abigail008 · May 24, 2010, 03:22 PM

Originally Posted by Cat1864

It seems to me that she let you down. Does she have a habit of wanting everything to go her way or she starts throwing temper tantrums?

I hope you and your boyfriend have great and lasting relationship for as long as you both want it.:)

This was the first time. She is saying that the friendship I showed to her was not real. I want to talk to her about it, because I still want to save our friendship, but she does not want to talk to me. I feel like were back to grade school again.:confused:

Kitkat22 · May 24, 2010, 03:34 PM

Originally Posted by abigail008

This was the first time. She is saying that the friendship I showed to her was not real. I want to talk to her about it, because I still want to save our friendship, but she does not want to talk to me. I feel like were back to grade school again.:confused:

You know what? You are a very nice young lady with a very good heart. I hope you and this guy are very happy. I think this is a case of she didn't want him, but she didn't want anyone else to have him. Good Luck sweetie.. you haven't done anything wrong. The balls in her court now and it's up to her to make the next move. Don't you worry about it. Have fun and enjoy being young.. God Bless... Kit:)

Jeha · May 24, 2010, 03:59 PM

If she has the courage to go tell people that her friend is fake then,she's obviously not a good, friend and you need to expand on your group of friends, friends are their to help, not to hurt. She should be happy for you. She's being selfish

ohsohappy · May 24, 2010, 04:06 PM

Your friend is being selfish and stupid, to be blunt. I'd tell her to deal with it. I had a friend like that. It was HER idea that I dated her ex, and then all of the sudden I was the worst friend in the world. So I stopped talking to her, because she wasn't worth it.

Although, I'm with a different guy now. :)

abigail008 · May 27, 2010, 07:14 PM

I feel guilty.. I don't know what to do. During the duration of their relationship, she sometimes confides in me. I feel like I betrayed her. I feel really sorry. :((

Kitkat22 · May 27, 2010, 08:18 PM

Originally Posted by abigail008

i feel guilty..i don't know what to do. During the duration of their relationship, she sometimes confides in me. I feel like I betrayed her. I feel really sorry. :((

Be happy and remember.. life is too short to dwell on things you can't change. You tried... You're a winner!. Kit:)

aimee_tt · May 27, 2010, 08:33 PM

Originally Posted by Kitkat22

Rule number one..Never date an ex boyfriend who use to date your best friend. That is a recipe for a lot of hurt feelings.

That Rule does not apply here. The friend Dated him less than a month then cheated on him... Where does that show that she had feelings for him?

I think this girl just thinks he's her property. He doesn't like him, She doesn't want him but She doesn't want her best friend dating him.

If she was a real friend she would be happy for them both. I could understand if they were together a year and she had loved him. But being with him less than a month, she didt have feelings it was lust.

I would ditch the friend, she is selfish.

abigail008 · May 29, 2010, 11:32 PM

Were on the brink of breaking up... He said that I am too preoccupied with what my best friend feels, and that I forgot to think about what he really feels. He said that it was also hard for him to see me sad about my best friend, he feels that he was the problem and that the ONLY solution was to break up.

And that's it I don't know what will happen next... we haven't had any communication for 2 days, he said that he needs time to think. Im afraid that we'll break up. I don't want it to happen. Were 2 days shy of our 1st monthsary. :(