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lavenderly · May 18, 2010, 10:34 PM

I've been working in a small firm for less than half a year. There are only 6 employees here, including me. Some of them are on part time basis.

Given the few of us here, there is no strict hierarchy. But everyone is very respectful of the boss who is over 60 years old. The rest of my colleagues are in their 30s but I am the only one who is in my 20s.

During lunch time, all 5 of them go for lunch together with the boss and never bother asking me to join them. I know they talk about serious work stuff during lunch, some things that I may not yet understand since I am quite new here.

But it feels lousy to be left alone in the office, not even given a glance by the rest of them (more so since my desk is very visible every time you walk to the entrance). My job scope is almost similar to the rest, if not more. Therefore, this is NOT the case of "oh, she's the photocopier girl".

A few of my colleagues used to ask me to join them if the boss is not around for lunch. But now they are more comfortable ignoring me. If the boss is around, then I know for sure that my chances of having a lunch mate is ZERO!

Should I quit my job? Should I braven myself and shamelessly ask them why they don't want me to join them for lunch? Should I just stick to the idea of being "new" hence I am not expected to have friends?

P.S. We work perfectly well together when it comes to formal work. No nonsense or gossips shared. I just want to feel more human and less of a robot who produces efficient work performance.

Wondergirl · May 18, 2010, 11:00 PM

I'm the kind of person who would ask -- pick out a coworker who has been nice to me and is always friendly. I certainly wouldn't quit. Maybe they go to Hooters for lunch and think you would be uncomfortable. It's hard to break into a boys' club. Maybe a male expert will see this and give his two cents.

ballengerb1 · May 19, 2010, 07:12 AM

Quiting a job because you aren't invited to lunch is not a great idea in this economy. Most folks would be thankful to just have a job. Long ago, when you were invited to lunch, did you go and how was it. Have you ever invited any of them to lunch with you? Might be a time to try that.